A/N: A sucky one shot just wrote it because I felt this way.
I hurt him like no other thing would. I caused him so much pain that no other knives would do. But mostly, I killed myself.
When he is gone I am dead and I cannot feel the little things that any humans do without him. Not the fresh crispy air that causes my cheeks to turn into a crimson color not the sound of the dried leaves under my boots. Nothing. Dead. Gone.
I had to do this even though while doing so I was slowing killing myself, it was like torture saying that I didn't want him anymore.
"Go! Leave! I hate you!" I said not looking his way. Seeing the pain in his eyes would instantly make me give up and run back to him.
I had to. I needed to.
Now that I am standing here, in the middle of no where, not that I care where i am any longer. Icy cold frozen tears are sliding down my cheeks,
I feel nothing, I see no one. i don't know how long I have been standing here for, or even where i am. I am just standing, just breathing.
"bella? why?" I'd replay his voice in my mind over and over again, the tone of it was hurting my ears and the pain of it was causing me even more pain.
I covered my ears and screamed as loud as I could. I screamed and I screamed untill I could no longer feel my voice.
i hurt him. I made him leave, but it was his good. I knew that if I let him stay he would get killed and that was no option.
I lay on the chilly floor no moving, not even shivering.
Suddenly, i could feel the blood boil in me and my temperature go up. I was getting a fever, my body felt like it was going to explode from fire. I closed my eyes and when i opened them again hot burning tears were sliding down my face.
"Edward"
"Edward"
"Edward" I whispered louder and louder every time. I was going in sane, he was my air, i was addicted, how silly of me to think that i'd survive,
i knew very well that by saying bye to him, i would kill myself and now it was happening.
So what?
Does it matter? No. As long as my love, my Edward, my life is fine and safe and I am happy. I tried to smile while the tears were drying up on my burning face.
"BELLA?" I laughed. I was definetly going insane. Halusinating, illusions.
"BELLA! DAMMIT!" I turn my head slowly too afraid to let the illusion get the best of me.
There he is, as beautiful as ever, Ias flawless as forever.
"Love? It's okay. It's okay. I am with you and you don't have to explain. I know, it's all good now. You didn't have to!" He tells me I laugh but it is a hysterical laugh and I begin to sob again.
He was here.
With me.
In his arms, he picked me up and started slowly walking out of the place.
I didn't remove my eyes from his, scared the illusion will go away.
"DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO SAVE ME LIKE THAT!" He screamed irritated but the loving and caring look behind his eyes made me melt and I began to cry and apologize.
"I am sorry, I am sorry. I love you, Edward. You are my air and I can't live without you, please stay with me forever. Please." I begged.
"Forever." He whispered softly and bent down to give me a soft sweet kiss.
It was not an illusion, he as here.
My Edward.