Chapter 1. – Lonely Rikku

Rikku had never seen so many people in one place before. It was no wonder why Brother had warned her to stick close. He had said that there was a major event going on, and it was dangerous for the Al Bhed. They were there to witness the tournament their team was to participate in. This actually had been a first, because so many people were prejudice against their kind. For the first time, the Al Bhed had been allowed to par take in the Blitzball tournament, with a league of their own.

Rikku wasn't quite sure at the time why Brother had been so excited, but she knew he was happy, and that made her happy. That was all that mattered.

At least that had been what mattered. Years later, it was a fading memory nearly forgotten until now. It had snapped back into her head recently, recognizing that her relationship with her brother wasn't the way it used to be. Despite practically living together, there just didn't seem to be much recognition between the two siblings. It didn't help that most of the time Brother was always lusting after Yunie, their very cousin. In a way it made her jealous, and she would get angry at him for taking his little-sister for granted, and then even angrier when ignoring her for this fact.

Then again, they were brother and sister after all. It wasn't like she could be at the top of his interests at this point in life. Still, there was a nostalgic feeling that wished she still had been.

She sat up in her bed, feeling very lonely on the Celsius. It had quieted down since her friends had left her. It wasn't like she was abandoned or anything. Yuna had found him, and she respected their privacy. Paine, well…they had already been too different from each other to begin with, who has since regained her friendship with Gippal and Baralai. The Gullwings were separated, and it looked like there was no chance of the team ever reforming.

Of course, Buddy and Brother still remained, including her. Barkeep was there too, but he was never any fun to be around with, since most of the time his wife would think any conversation she had with him nothing more than flirting. Not that she'd ever be interested in the creature.

That pretty much sums up her life now. It just wasn't nearly as fun as it used to be. Even though just a few years ago had practically been hell for everyone, it was still one of the best times in her life. After all, that had really been when she grew up, through thick and thin. Faced with hate, betrayal, and the world's evil known as Sin.

Now her life was filled with fleeting dreams, and nostalgic longing to another place and time. She even missed her fear for the lightening. How she had come to fear such a thing was beyond her. Now it was laughable she had ever been afraid, and even enjoys visiting the Thunderplains every now and then.

She looked out of the tiny window from afar, still sitting upon the bed. It was as if she was looking for something, but all that ever came were puffy clouds, and a few birds here and there…nothing too special.

She decided that it was boring in the room, and she wasn't at all sleepy so she made her way toward the deck. When she arrived, she took a moment to take in all the fresh air, her senses being tingled by the very wind that made her hair dance.

She closed her eyes, imagining whatever it was she was searching for would appear before her. Then when she would open them, there would be nothing there. She pretended that the one who would love her was just playing a game of hard to get. That somehow, he or she was a being of awe and mystery.

"Rikku?"

The familiar voice surprised her. After all, it was rare that her brother would even address her anymore. It was her brother…someone who had shared most of her life with, more than anyone else. He knew more about her than anyone else, and even all the weird things and why she did those weird things.

She turned to him, with a hint of a sad smile. She had hoped it would be an apology, recognition of ignorance, or at the very least a conversation between the two about life, or anything really. She didn't care so long as it was time with her brother, and time well spent.

"Why aren't you helping Buddy…and me looking for the Spheres?"

"Why aren't you helping Buddy and I look for the Spheres?" Rikku corrected still smiling. "You really have gotten better."

"Of course, there isn't a thing I can't accomplish."

"At least with me! Remember who taught you how to speak in the Spirian tongue." She was happy to be conversing with him again.

"Anyway Rikku, just what were you doing up here?"

She almost forgot to answer him, trying her best to make their conversation last. It was rare they got to really talk anymore. "Oh nothing really." She looked into the sky enjoying the brisk feeling the altitude would bring her.

Brother began to walk away and said, "Well, just don't fall of the ship. We'd never know what happened to you, and we'd have another member disbanded." Then finally he was going to return to the bridge.

"Brother!"

He turned back to her, surprised by the sudden interest. It could only mean she wanted something. "What is it now?"

Somewhat ashamed she had even called out his name, she just couldn't tell him what she wanted to ask. "Oh, never mind…."

He had stopped for a moment, curious. Then again, it would probably be nothing important to him, just another weird thing about Rikku, which would only be one of many weird quirks. "Well whatever." He began to walk off again.

"Wait."

"What is it this time?"

Rikku tried so hard, and didn't want to be abandoned again. It was three simple words that family should be able to share as much as possible. Yet, she just couldn't say them. Just say "I love you," she thought in her head. She began to say them, "I…" but couldn't. She just couldn't, not after all these years of fading away from each other.

"Yes?"

From fear she began to cry. She knelt before him, trying to hide her shame. This wasn't something she had done in a long time. Trickles of pain rolled off onto the hard surface of the airship. This of course surprised Brother. Rikku was crying.

"Rikku, stop that. You're being ridiculous." In truth he too was beginning to cry. He had always tried hiding his soft nature by acting stupid, or by being mean. "Don't do that. Children do that. That's what children do."

"Brother, it's just that I…I feel so alone."

This took him by surprise. This wasn't her cheerful self. This wasn't Rikku. She was strong, and didn't seem to ever feel alone. At least he didn't think so. However, after seeing how his sister had cried like that, something she hadn't done since childhood…it rekindled memories of the past. Rikku was still another person with feelings, and probably had just as many regrets as he had.

"You haven't done this since that blitzball tournament."

Rikku looked up after sniffling. "You remember that?" Her eyes filled with a glint of hope.

"Of course, that was the day you…"

Brother looked hurt, hurt in a way Rikku hadn't seen him hurt before in a long time. It was as if he had become an entirely different person. This wasn't Brother's mask; no…this was the true side he seldom took.

"The day I…?"

Brother seemed surprised.

"You don't remember?"

It was a long time ago, and she remembered some things. Of course, she was still a bit younger than him, so she couldn't remember as well as he could. Now her curiosity was perked. What had happened to her? Why did it hurt her brother so much?

"No, what happened?"

Brother seemed hesitant to answer. He paused for a moment, before saying anything. "Oh forget it, it was nothing. Nothing really, just something I…I mean you had cried over." Brother sprinted into the elevator quickly shutting it behind him. Rikku tried yelling out for him, yet it was too late.

She tried hard to remember that day's events. Yet, she just couldn't remember it. Instead she was plagued with many other memories, like the time she had first met him, or the time she had kicked Brother for being a perverted sick individual toward Yuna. As fun as it was to explore her past, she just couldn't remember much more than the many balloons that had floated that day.

Now she was faced with a few questions. What happened to her that hurt her brother so much? Why was he hiding it?

That night, she dreamed of her brother. For some reason, she had a nightmare about lightening. She woke up screaming, feeling that it had all been real. She soon relaxed however after discovering she lay upon her bed, and laughed in relief. Apparently, though she was over her fear of lightening, there was a subconscious level where it still haunted her.

Later she would keep it to herself. It's not like anyone would be interested in hearing anything Rikku had to say. They never were, and when they did listen, they always had some mockingly rude reply. Even Yuna could never really come up with a reply, yet with her innocence, she wouldn't be so mean.

She stared at her brother who was keeping busy with the flight-controls. He too seemed very bored, as they all were. These days just weren't as exciting as they used to be. As dull as it was, it was still better than having Sin to deal with. That everyone defiantly appreciated.