Yay, a one-shot! I actually got the idea for this today in creative writing during a free-flow. It was good so I decided to stay with it. KH belongs to some Japanese people I don't know, so try not to sue me for my awesomenes.
"Hurry! Give me some Cheese Squares!"
"Huh? No, I'm busy."
"So am I! If I had any free hands I'd get some myself!"
"You would have free hands if you'd get off that GameSquare."
"Ah. So you choose to be snide, I see. Well, just so you know, the fate of Upper Earth depends on my beating this boss."
"And the fate of your English grade depends on you writing this essay. But, you know, as long as Middle Earth-"
"Upper Earth."
"Upper Earth is okay, what the hell. I'm not going to write the essay for you, you know."
"I know."
"…Just so you know."
Kairi just didn't understand. It was her job to be my Mother, though, so I let it slide (as usual). It didn't really matter if my grade in English was bad, if I sucked up to the teacher enough last minute it wouldn't matter.
Plus, I'd been playing "Universe of WarCrap" for one hundred and fifty five hours; I wasn't about to stop because of some stupid 300-point essay that was due last week.
'That little voice in my subconscious is trying to say something…I know it…oh well. Oh, Cheese Squares!'
"You owe me for this. I'll do the essay for you."
"I love you Kairi."
"Whatever. But, if I do the essay for you you have to do something for me."
"Uh, I love you but not –"
"Shut up, dweeb, I'm not talking about that."
"Thank God."
She kicked me in the side of the head, and I missed an attack turn. I vowed then to get her back at any cost. Too bad it's months after the fact.
She sat across the room at the coffee table, murmuring darkly to herself as she wrote my essay for me. It was nice of her, seeing as how my grade in that class was about a fifty percent. If I hadn't been playing "Universe of WarCrap" I would've done it myself. Maybe.
"So Sora…" she started, tapping her pen on her chin, her blue eyes narrowing at me as I hunched over the controller.
'Huh. I haven't saved my game yet.'
"Listen to me, dimwit."
"Jeez, you're such a nice friend, what with your calling me names all the time."
"Whatever. Anyway, are you gonna answer Selphie anytime soon?"
I died.
In the game, that is. I died.
"Crap! Kairi!"
"What the hell! Like it's my fault! Dork!"
She just had to mention Selphie. Ugh. Ugh with a side of UGH.
"Sora, she's really bent out of shape about this. She really likes you. It wouldn't hurt her to answer her, even if it was a no. I'm tired of listening to her whine about you. In all honesty I don't even know what she sees in you."
"Thanks."
"It wasn't a compliment."
A few hours went by, the game was shut off, and my essay was completed, with many minor mistakes.
"You didn't spell my name right…"
"Neither do you. Mr. Teacherwithnoname is going to know you didn't do it yourself if you get anything above minimally passing. I did you a favor and did "C" work."
"I…don't know what to say. Thanks? I guess?"
Somewhere downstairs my mom started yelling about dinner. Her cooking was horrid and disgustingly gross, so Kairi used it as an opportunity to leave. As usual.
"I think I'll go."
"You don't want to stay?"
"Eating out of the toilet would be preferable. And bye."
With a loathsome glance at my GameSquare Kairi kissed me on the cheek and slipped on her shoes, telling me to start doing my math homework, which I'd forgotten about.
"I'll get right on that…"
"Liar."
"Yup."
She was almost gone. She should've known after three years of knowing me that if she didn't leave fast my mom would make her stay and eat the "food".
I didn't like to suffer alone, but my brother would be there too. Too bad he actually enjoyed eating mom's compost.
"Oh yeah, Sora?" Kairi asked, turning to face me before heading down the stairs.
More yelling about dinner.
"Hm?"
"Have you talked to Riku lately?"
"A while ago. Why?"
"…Just wondering."
My ass.
"So, you'll talk to Selphie later?"
"I don't like her like that."
"I know. I think she knows too, but just doesn't want to admit it."
"Can you tell her?"
"No. Don't be a coward."
"…"
Later that night (technically it was morning, seeing as how I was playing "Universe of WarCrap" until two) Kairi text messaged me a bunch of nonsense.
'Ugh. Like I care. Does she know what time it is? Christ.'
What do you want? I responded, hoping it'd be rude enough to put her off.
It wasn't.
If you don't talk to her tomorrow I won't do your math homework for you.
Harsh. But alright, if that's how you want to play it. I'll talk to her, but she'll get upset.
Then be nice about it.
I'd been friends with girls enough to know that there was NOT a "Nice Way" to turn them down. No matter what I did she'd be emo about it, act awkwardly, avoid me, and possibly even trash talk me behind my back. It's not like I asked her to like me. In fact, Selphie and I hardly ever talked. I could count the times I've seen her alone on one hand. 'She has no reason to like me. This is so unfair. I thought that if I avoided her she'd get over it or whatever…'
Plus, Tidus and Wakka liked her. Why couldn't she like one of them? 'It's not like I even –'
You still there? You want me to call?
I want to go to sleep.
By the way, I just got off the phone with Riku.
"…!"
Now, Kairi and I were pretty close for only knowing each other for three years. She yapped to me about guys she liked, I yapped to her about homework I hadn't done, and the friendship was forged.
Riku was a different story.
I'd known him since elementary school, although since he was a major jerk until last year I never really spoke to him on purpose. He lived next door, and we were both in the Knowledge Bowl club, so it wasn't like I could ignore him completely. No matter how hard I tried.
Oh? Well that's nice. What'd he have to say?
Don't be coy. Just spit it out. He says you're avoiding him.
I always avoid him. Duh.
Oh, you're lying through your teeth. Didn't you get over your hating him thing a while ago?
Sure.
Don't start giving me smart ass remarks hoping to throw me off. Even if you turn off your phone I'll bother you at school tomorrow.
Okay.
Fairy.
Lint Licker.
Such bad language Sora! How could you?
You started it. Anyways, I'll talk to Selphie so get off my case. Goodnight.
Sora, please. Just tell me what's wrong. If it were up to me I'd be in bed right now.
If that were the case she could just go. Sheesh.
Sorry. But if I tell you what's going on you'll freak out.
This is coming from the guy who's scared of the witch from the "Wizard of Poz."
Shut up. But, since you want to know, I'll tell you. It's not that I don't just not like Selphie.
It's not like you're making any sense.
I turned the phone off. What, I was angry! I have the right to turn the phone off – she always kicks me when she's mad! Anyway, I ended up calling her in the morning before school anyway, so it wasn't like it was a problem.
"You're a jerk you know that? Just ending the conversation like that. I hope you know I was very angered."
"Whatever. Are you going to listen or not? Listen, Kairi, 'cause I'm only going to explain this more than once. You're going to blow this way out of proportion…."
"No I wont – and hurry it up; I haven't brushed my hair yet."
I had to restrain the urge to make a joke about how her hair usually looked, but wanted to avoid being kicked in the shins later. Plus, I wanted her to take what I said seriously for once, so the joking could wait till I saw her on the bus.
"I'm gay Kairi."
Her reaction wasn't really what I was bracing myself for – not in the least.
"…Huh."
Needless to say I was a little put off. It's not like I wanted her to totally freak out, but it was Kairi. She had to flip out, at least a little. On the other hand, I was wondering why she wasn't surprised.
"That's all you have to say?"
"Yeah. I kinda already knew."
"What do you mean already knew?"
"Sora, you're a sixteen year old boy who doesn't try to grope me. You've seen me in a bikini and didn't have anything to say about it."
"I said it was a nice color."
"And that's why your gayness is so obvious. Straight guys don't care about color!"
I couldn't help but laugh at her reasoning – I suppose that if I can tell the difference between salmon and pink I must be gay, is that it?
"This is what you're bent out of shape about? You know, you can just tell Selphie you're a penis-lover; she won't care. In fact, she'll probably think it's cute. You know how she likes her 'yowwie'."
Even though she'd said she needed to let me go earlier to brush her hair, we ended up talking all the way up to the point of meeting at the bus stop.
Her hair wasn't brushed.
"OMG Sora!" she mocked, swinging her hips and flicking her wrist.
"That purple shirt looks fabu – oh God, Purple Shirt! Another clue!"
"Shut up! Your hair is a rat's nest!"
"Yeah, well, that's only cause I couldn't get you off the phone."
I wanted to point out the fact that she was the one who kept asking me questions. I was too anxious to argue, though, and it wasn't like people weren't staring at us enough.
"Where the hell is the bus? You know what, where the hell is my car? You and I must be the only juniors in the school with no license. Do we even have permits? This sucks."
As I tried to steer her away from the leers of the other kids at the bus stop, she tore through her hair with her comb in a manner that was sure to give her receding hairline in a few months.
"What're you doing Sora? The bus picks us up over there."
"If it's not obvious enough I'm trying to get you alone to talk!"
"Sorry Sora I don't go for gay guys."
"…!"
"Calm down, calm down! Sorry; I'm listening!"
Honestly, that girl…
"Okay, you know how I said earlier that I'm…gay, right?"
"I thought you said you were a cucumber."
I continued before she could try to crack another poorly-punned joke.
"Well…it's not like I've always been gay, if that makes sense."
"Nope."
"Kairi, please!"
"Thank you."
I vowed to get her back someday. It didn't matter if it were a few hours, days or decades; I'd get her…
"What I'm trying to say is that there's a guy I like! It's not like I'm interested in every guy I see!"
I maybe said that last part a little too loud; people down the hill were snickering and going out of their way to point up at us.
"Huh. Is it Tidus?"
"What? No!"
"Really? I always got the gay vibe from him. You'd go good together."
"Shut up!"
"Temper temper…oh, here comes the bus…"
"It's Riku! I like Riku!"
For the first time she actually looked shocked. It could've been because at that moment she yanked her comb pretty violently through her bangs, or because I yelled that last line again for the whole bus stop (and the people walking across the street) to hear. But, most likely because of my liking Riku.
She was probably going to make a big deal out of it.
"Riku? Riku? But you hate him! You're always complaining about him and avoiding him and saying how much he teases you and – oh, I get it! You havethe Roxas/Seifer syndrome!"
"…."
It was useless to try and talk my way out of it by the time we got on the bus. She was utterly astonished, that I, her "Token Gay Friend" ( I wonder how two other nameless guy friends of hers would feel about that) was in like with Riku, the loudmouth blitzball player.
"How wonderfully stereotypical!" she said, shaking me in my seat. "I can't believe it! You liking Riku! That'd be like…well, me liking Yuffie! Which I don't."
This one-sided conversation continued no the way to school, complete with the creepy stares of the others on the bus. Great. So now everyone I lived by knew I was gay. This would've bothered me if anyone actually knew who I was, but since I pretty much kept to myself, no harm done, right? Plus, as long as they didn't know that I had the misfortune of liking Riku, it didn't really matter.
Or so I thought.
Don't worry, there'll be a sequel. Sooner or later