Series Used: Naruto

Pairing: SasukexNaruto

Writer: RIn

Valium Queen

It was only after sinful amounts of valiume, medical chakra and being stuck in a stuffy hospital room that a one Uchiha Sasuke, got a little loopy. Even after nearly a decade of friendship and the last 4 or so years of that decade spent courting one another, Naruto had never known that the Uchiha was capable of girly fits of laughter after telling a joke (that made absolutely no sense at all). The blond put his head in his hand as Sasuke began to babble about how much Naruto's eyes looked like "those tablets you put in the toilet to clean them…the really blue ones." Somehow Naruto felt that Sasuke was trying to flatter him, but he couldn't be sure right now.

"Just go to sleep Sasuke," he groaned when Sasuke was done telling him how to clean a toilet with a t-shirt.

Those dark eyes, that would normally burn a hole straight through your head, were trying to glare at Naruto. The key word is trying. It looked more like Sasuke was trying to keep from laughing as he seduced the boy on the hospital chair.

"But I'm not sleepy, Naru-chan!" he exclaimed his face turning into a picture of childhood innocence.

Naruto rubbed his eyes, "Yes you are, otherwise you wouldn't be calling me 'Naru-chan'…"

Sasuke tried to glare again but burst into laughter as his face settled into what might be a half-glare. His torso lunged forward as he laughed and then he winced and calmed down again.

"Bet you won't try that one again will you?" Naruto asked chuckling at his boyfriend.

Naruto's light laughter subsided as he got up to check on Sasuke's stitched stomach. He reached out for the thin paper-y fabric of the hospital gown when his hand was grabbed away from its path. Soon Naruto's hand was nuzzled by Sasuke's cheek.

"Oh Naru-chan I don't think that we should do it here," Sasuke told him as he looked into Naruto's toilet-cleaner eyes. "I mean, what if some one walks in on us?" Naruto's face was the perfect depiction of 'what the hell?'. "The thought is sweet anyway baby."

"Okay, just how much valume did they give you?" Naruto asked as he watched Sasuke cuddle with his hand so affectionately. "I think that it's too much, even if your stomach was split open!" he exclaimed.

"Oh now that's just mean Naru-chan…" Sasuke scolded him. "You need a spanking…I won't hesitate to turn you over my knee young man!" It was more of an imitation of his mother when he was in trouble than a real threat. Then again given the current state of Sasuke, what could be taken as a genuine threat?

"Sure you will…" Naruto agreed rather sarcastically as he lifted up the light blue gown to see the stitches. The threads seemed to still be intact and no bleeding was present so Naruto left it at that. "You really need to go to sleep Sasuke."

Sasuke gave him that look again, but this time he didn't break his face with mindless laughter. He sat that way for nearly a minute before breaking into a wide smile.

"You blinked first! I win!" Sasuke threw his arms into the air in victory. "What's my prize?!"

"There is no prize…" Naruto said running a tired hand through his hair.

Sasuke's face darkened real quick when the news of no prizes was announced.

"I. Want. My. Prize." He told Naruto through his clenched teeth.

"There. Is. No. Prize." Naruto replied in a rather frustrated tone.

"There. Better. Be. A. Fucking. Prize." Sasuke persisted narrowing his eyes further.

"Fine!" Naruto gave in and scanned the room quickly to find a prize for the winner. He picked up a carton of apple juice and handed it to Sasuke, "Here's your fucking prize," he said to pacify the almost glaring boy.

Sasuke held the carton as if it were made of gold, then it appeared that he was…tearing up… "I'll cherish it forever…" he said wiping at the tears that followed such a statement.

All Naruto could do at this point was stare at who he thought was at least frigid enough to NEVER cry over a gift. No matter how moving it might have been. Or no matter how doped up on medication he was…

"That's lovely..." Naruto said to validate Sasuke's acceptance speech that was taking place right then in the hospital room.

There was something about how he wanted to thank God, his mom, Naruto and how he was the one to exact revenge on his evil older brother. Then he began to go into his and Naruto's relationship during his speech. From then on the speech was pretty much Sasuke talking about where him and Naruto had sex, where they ate at, and how they were meant for each other…How it was fate.

Great now he's taking lessons from Neji…Naruto thought inwardly groaning for the millionth (give or take) time that day.

"Oh how Naruto takes such good care of me…" Sasuke started as he waved to a crowd that, apparently, loved him. "He makes such good soup for me when I'm sick. Oh and he also makes sure that I am warm! But he won't sleep with me when I'm sick…" after the last bit he decided to glare at Naruto for a second before continuing.

"He's so very sweet, and I don't mean the way he tastes," Sasuke winked…Naruto did not know that Uchihas were capable of such an expression. "Naruto acts just like a wife…How very romantic for me!" Sasuke clapped his hands together and rested his cheek against his folded hands.

"Naruto Uzumaki…" he trailed off. "U-zu-mak-i…You-zu-mak-i…

Youz-a-mak-i…" Sasuke's face lit up and then he grabbed at Naruto's hands.

"What is it now Sasuke? Don't you think you've had enough fun making fun of my name?" Naruto asked looking through tired eyes at Sasuke's childish expression.

"Youz-a-make-me-a-good-wife!" Sasuke exclaimed looking hopefully into Naruto's eyes.

A silent second ticked by on the clock… "What?" Naruto asked.

"Youz-a-make-me-a-good-wife!" Sasuke repeated bouncing slightly on his bed. "Oh please say yes!" he added whining a little.

Naruto closed his eyes and turned his head away, then he faced Sasuke again, "Did you just propose to me?"

Sasuke looked off into space for a second, "Yes…?"

"God you must be high on medication…" Naruto justified sighing.

"Awwww you're being so mean to me Naruto…" Sasuke puckered his bottom lip out. "Why don't you just say yes? I KNOW you love me!"

This day just needs to be over…Naruto thought as he continued to observe his lover's antics.

"If I say yes, will you go to sleep?" he asked hoping that would do the trick.

Sasuke nodded feverently, "Yes yes yes I will!"

The enthusiastic reply made Naruto want to burst with laughter, but he held it back. "Fine, I will marry you Sasuke."

Sasuke made a fist and pulled it to his side, "Yes," he said it as if he was trying to keep his victory on the down low.

"Now go to sleep…" Naruto told him as he eased Sasuke back into bed. "If you wake up before the sun comes up I won't marry you Sasuke," he warned before placing a quick kiss on the man's lips.

Needless to say Naruto now had ample amounts of blackmail material to use against his, now, fiancée. This thought made him smile very much indeed.

And that my friends, is how Sasuke Uchiha proposed to Naruto Uzumaki.

3 years later

"How do I always end up in situations like this?" Naruto muttered as Sasuke blew bubbles into his apple juice.

"Did you say something dearest?" Sasuke asked batting his eye lashes at his spouse.

"How do you manage to do this to yourself?" Naruto asked referring to the fact that he nearly shattered his spine on a mission this time.

"Whatever do you mean, beautiful?" Sasuke slurred the compliment so very badly.

"Now you're gonna say a bunch of idiotic things and you're gonna wear me down, just like last time," Naruto muttered half to himself and half to Sasuke, who was trying to make his blanket a super hero cape for himself.

"Oh don't be so bitter," Sasuke began as Naruto reached over to untangle the tricky cloth from Sasuke's fingers. "Come and sit with me my wife," he suggested using the same British accent he'd been using all day long.

"Sasuke, we're married because you were pumped full of drugs that should be illegal for you to take…" Naruto said shaking his head. "This time I'm probably gonna end up pregnant or something because of the bizarre things that happen when you're loopy."

"Oh but Naruto, Youz-a-make-me-a-good-wife!" Sasuke exclaimed putting his marriage hand up to show off his gold wedding band.

Naruto stared, dumbfounded, at his husband, "Idiot, that's not even my last name anymore. We took yours, remember?"

Sasuke looked perturbed by this turn of events, but his sour expression soon became happy as the wheels in his head spun out of wack.

"Fine," he said. "Come sit with me Naruto, You-cheap-hoe." Sasuke thought it was rather brilliant to make his family name sound like that.

Naruto wasn't as amused as British!Sasuke was. He simply stood up, turned on his heel and walked out into the hospital to get something else to drink. Apple juice wasn't what he wanted right now.

End of Valium Queen

A/N: Okay I wanted to thank all of those who reviewed this oneshot the first time through but because of mine and my sister's combined ideas we decided to make a story that had all of our medicine themed lil stories. I hope that if you liked it enough to review it when it debuted that you will review it again. -bows- Thank you!!!