She opened her eyes slowly. The phrase "a throbbing tooth ache of the mind", which she had always found irrational, suddenly made sense. She remembered why the head ache. She remembered why she was naked and why the sheets smelled of sex. They had done it. They had gotten drunk, they had laughed as usual, they had shared comfort after a case. It had been their routine. Everything was ok, really. And then, she could not tell how it had happened, but they were kissing, they were taking a cab to her place and they were naked and having sex. Great sex, but that she had suspected. Then, blank. And now, the horrible head ache (which was why she didn't drink much in the first place), and the smell and no Booth in sight. She called out his name a few times, but nothing. He was gone. She pondered for a moment, the frown that accompanied her attempts to untangle human behaviour made itself present. Then it relaxed. It was ok. She thought. Well, yes, it was ok. Out of character for Booth, after all that talk about love making, but it was ok.
As she rode the metro to the Jeffersonian she considered the possibility of calling him. Just to tell him that it was alright, no need to stress over it. It had happened, she wasn't mad, he shouldn't feel like he did anything wrong. But when she got to voice mail her logic flew out the window, metaphorically. "Hey Booth, it's... Bones. I just wanted to tell you that... well.. it's all... I just wanted you to know that... well, you know, I don't... it's ok, you know? Call me later and... it's all ok" She hung up without being sure of what the hell had just happened to her.
She got to the Jeffersonian and drowned herself into work. Remains, remains and more remanis. Identifications achieved, a couple of emails from her editor reviewing her latest chaptres. Work as usual. Lunch break came and she pulled her cell phone, had she been so absorbed into work that she didn't hear it ring? No, no missed calls, no voice mail. That was weird. The frown apeared once more. She went to the kitchen, grabbed something to eat and drink and kept on walking. She entered Angela's office and closed the door.
"I slept with Booth." She blunted.
Angela's eyes widened as her head flew up. "Wow, that's not how I imagined this moment would be" she looked at Brennan "And that's not the face you should be wearing, Sweetie, was it awful?" Now her expression was pitiful.
Brennan was taken aback "No! No, no, not at all. It was a... very satisfying experience" Brennan's face grew a smile out of the memory.
"That's more like it. Details, Honey." Angela answered taking the food off Brennan's hands and setting it on the desk.
"Well, we were drunk, so I guess alcohol induced desinhibition was in part responsible"
"Gotta love buzz"
"The thing is, he left. You have to tell me what that means."
"When? Right after? That doesn't sound like Booth."
"I don't know when, I fell sleep. I thought that was ok, him leaving, I mean. So I called him this morning, to tell him that... it was ok. He didn't call back."
"He might be caught up in work." Angela tried,
"It's not characteristic of Booth not to return calls"
"Honey, you haven't slept together before"
"So you don't really think it's because he's caught up with work, you think it's because we had sex" It was clear to Brenan that it could be one or the other, but not both at the same time.
Caught on her kinda lie, Angela tried a different aproach "Do you want him to call?"
"Well, yes. I want him to act as usual. Sex changes nothing. It's irrational to change one's behaviour based upon the only act of persuing sexual satisfaction."
"No, it's not. It's what people do."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... Booth must be thinking that he needs to apologize or something like that for taking advantage of your situation."
"That's crazy, and" she said with that tone that she used when talking to Booth and offered extra evidence in a case "I told him it was ok"
"Hon, you were drunk, you would have told Zach it was ok."
"I mean this morning, over the phone." The look on Bones face at the thought of sex with Zack made it very clear that was not a possibility she would indulge.
"That's not really reasuring, Bren. And Booth is a gentelman" Angela was not used to use that word "he'd feel the obligation to straight things out in a nice way."
"You're saying he wouldn't talk it over the phone."
"That's what I'm saying." She had, however, another thing to say. "You have to consider another possibility." She waited.
"What?... Ange?" Brennan asked after a short silence.
She took a breath, she hated to be the one that broke it to her. Ok, she didn't hated it, but she was hoping Brennan would get the idea on her own "He might not want it to be ok."
That was puzzleing "Why wouldn't he?"
This woman "Sweetie, I know you're brilliant, but sometimes I worry about you." Brennan did not know what the dangers of her work had to do with anything. "I mean, you have that FBI total stud running around with you, flashing his gun to anyone that looks funny at you... He may wanna have something with you..." Still not getting through she spelled "He might want a relationship"
"That's not... He says that partners shouldn't engage in romantic relationships." Brennan stated it as if it was the ultimate truth of the universe.
"Yes, right, of course, because men never lie" Angela closed her case.
"Hum..." Brennan was processing the new information, nodding slightly.
"Look, all I'm saying is you need to consider that before you see him" Unlike others, Angela knew her friend. She knew Brennan would even convince herself that she didn't want nor need a relationship. But, truth be told, she had had relationships, she had liked being in those relationships, and she had been heartbroken when they ended.
"You've been very helpful." That was the highest compliment Brennan could ever give.
When Brennan left, Angela sighed. She loved this woman, but the fact that she saw detachment as a good thing was frustrating. She had no idea of the power she had over men. Scratch that, she had no idea of how special she was and how lucky any man would be if granted with her attention. More important, she was missing out so much. But that Brennan knew.
Bones thought. She thought about it all. What had happened, what could happen, what should not happen. This was going to de difficult. Booth had a tendency to be uncomfortable about the topic of sexual intercourse, and he was probably more sensitive when it came to his sexual intercourse. He did not like to discuss his sex life and he dreaded when she talked about hers. But she decided that the best approach would be a direct one. Get him to meet her, get back to normal. She could do that.
By the end of the day, when Booth hadn't called at all, not even to the lab, she decided to go see him. Walking the blocks that lead to the Hoover Building, she rehearsed her speech so the incident of the cell phone call wouldn't be repeated. It wasn't that she was nervous, but she was a bit uncomfortable. Illogical, totally unnecessary, so she pushed it away.
She went inside, ID in hand thought the security people knew her. She took the elevator, walked to his office, and saw him sitting there. A pencil between his teeth as he typed on his keyboard.
"Hey Booth." She said crossing the threshold, a small smile lingered on her face.
"Hey, Bones!" He just looked awkward.
Almost mimicking his common behaviour, she walked in slowly and secure and sat on a chair in front of the desk.
"I'm sorry, Bones, I left like that..." when she interrupted him he thanked God, for he had no idea of what to say.
"It's ok." She said in a fashion that reminded him of her speech about sexual satisfaction. As if she considered that the matter shouldn't be a big deal, but still got a bit bashful about it, like a teenager. She lifted her hands "it's fine, really"
"I should have..." He began again.
"No, you shouldn't have done anything... well, you should have called me back, but other than that, nothing's wrong." She interrupted again.
He looked at her with that odd face he used when she spoke "squint", as if he needed translation. That made her doubt, maybe he was feeling hurt. "All I say is, we were drunk, we obviously were feeling physical attraction towards each other" That made him uncomfortable, so she hurried her speech "and we had sex. It doesn't have a to be a big deal.... I mean, it's not like you'd want it to be anything else either, right? So we're fine." She ended that with a very well rehearsed smile.
It took him a minute or two to react. "So we're cool" He asked, almost as if that was what he wanted. His whish had been granted.
She tilted her head nodding "We're... cool"
For the first time since she had gotten there, he relaxed and smile broadly.
She thought for a moment, but her work was done "Ok, then. See you." She said getting up.
"Hold on, Bones, I have some files for you to sign"
She looked at him and the folders he was handing. Angela was right "You were avoiding me" she said with a half smile, half teas as she grabbed a pen and started to sign the papers.
"No, no, no, it's not that..." But he was wearing the face that said he was lying.
As if she had found a secret she could use in the future. "Yes, you were."
He stood up and grabbed his jacket "No, really, I wasn't..." He said as he followed her out
"Oh, yes you were"
"No, Bones, I wasn't."
"You were"
The smiles and banter continued as they walked to the elevator and out the building. See, it wasn't so terrible.
As weeks and cases passed, it was as if it had never happened. They solved murders, they drank coffee, Max helped Parker with a school project, he impressed the kid with some cool experiments. Booth was more than grateful about it. Bones seemed to be the same, not a different glance, not even the awkwardness he would have expected when a case involved romantic or sexual relations. But he knew Bones was a very consistent person, so why would he expect anything different? He did not want a relationship with Bones, and he would have felt retroactively disrespectful if she had changed her demeanour towards those subjects.
"I slept with Booth" She said closing Angela's office door behind her.
"This is so deja vu"
At the shocked look on Angela's face she felt the need to elaborate "Again. Last night"
"Oh, my.... so it did go well the last time" She had that smug little smile on her face. "I thought you had it all talked and dealt with."
"We did, we do, we have. I don't know what happened"
"If you don't know what happened must have been one hell of a date!" Raising her brows.
"Of course I know what happened, that's not what I meant, I was exaggerating."
Angela had to make an effort not to roll her eyes, let it go, she thought "Spill"
"We kissed and we ended up at my apartment" she hoped that was specific enough.
"Were you drunk again?"
"No."
"Where did you start?"
"At the diner" she really didn't see the relevance.
"Ok, you need to learn discretion"
Bones felt like a suspect, and she gave Angela a look that expressed she was not appreciating it.
Angela couldn't care less "How did you get to your place?"
She thought again "We drove"
"So you weren't drunk"
"I've already stated that"
"Just double checking." A smile delivered that. "Together?" silence "Did you drive together?"
"No, I drove my car and Booth drove his." Again, Brennan was missing the point. "How is this relevant?"
Angela smiled and tried not to be patronizing "You had many instances to stop and you didn't. For crying out loud, Bren, you had a 15 minutes ride to rethink it."
Brennan considered it, but said nothing.
"You could have not kiss, you could have decided that that was it, once you got to your building you could have decided it wasn't wise to go forward, when you got into your apartment you could have, I don't know... not do it?"
"Why would we do that?" Brennan knew that Angela was usually pro her involvement with Booth, at least that's what she had gathered from all of her innuendos. "We obviously have a great chemistry together and... well, we do satisfy each other sexually. So why wouldn't we repeat the experience?" A smile that revealed more than Brennan would have liked came to her face.
Angela sighed "I am all in favor of recreational sex, Sweety, and I know you can compartmentalize" my ass "but Booth, he's not the kind of guy that stands to be a booty call"
"That's not the case. We just... had sex a couple of times." Ok, again that smile, at the memory or the longing, no one could say.
"Yeah, right. Of course." Let Brennan have that. "You should consider a longer conversation... you know, so it's all perfectly clear." Then she thought for a second "Of course you need to know first in which way you want to get it cleared"
"What do you mean?" Brennan was squinting at her.
"I am starting to wonder if maybe you don't want it to be just sex with Booth." That took a lot of courage.
Brennan snorted "What else would I want?"
"A relationship?"
Another snort "No, Ange, of course not. And I told you, we can not have a relationship."
"Yeah..." It was amazing to Angela how this perfectly rational woman could not tell the difference between what she wanted and what others were willing to give her. She shook her head and offered a heart felt sympathetic smile. "Of course" as she looked straight into her very best friend eyes she remembered another thing "Did he leave?"
Brennan snapped out of the relationship thing "What?"
"When did he leave?"
"After... some time. I was still awake, if that's what you're asking"
That was not a good answer. "What did he say?"
"He said, I think I better get going"
That was certainly not good. "And what did you say?"
"Sure, good night" she said it as if it was the most obvious thing to say after sex. For a split moment, Angela wondered if she hadn't say thank you and tossed him one hundred bucks.
"Well, Sweetie, I still think you really need to talk. I mean, if you're going to keep on... doing it, you should know where you stand." At this point, Angela felt that Booth was standing far away from where Brennan, oblivious, stood.
Brennan snorted again 'It's not like we planned it! It just happened."
"That's what you said last time, and it just happened again" Angela was trying to lead her in the right direction. Had she not wore that smile, Brennan would have been defensive and felt judged.
A bit confused and with a sudden urge to stop the conversation, Bones got up and said she had to go back to work. "Thanks for the talk"
"Any time, Sweetie" Angela was almost certain this was not going to be the end.
She saw Booth walking towards Brennan's office not long after. It was almost relieving to see that he wasn't too uncomfortable. Hell, at least this time was coming in stead of avoiding calls. When the door closed she felt this wasn't going to be good for Brennan in the long run.
Booth entered the office the same way he always did. Grin on his face, light on his eyes, confidence exuding from every pore. "Bones"
She gave him the sort of look that usually meant I'll play along. "Booth"
"Listen, Bones" He said sitting down and leaning a bit forward onto the desk and lowering his voice "what happened last night... it can't happen again"
She nodded for an answer.
"You know, it was all... natural urges" He was quoting her in en effort to make himself clear.
"I concur" She replied scientifically after a short a consideration.
"So, we're not... you know, anymore" he was not at ease with this situation.
"Nothing ever happened" She said reassuring him.
"Nothing happened" That he could live with. After all, this was Bones and she wouldn't say one thing if she thought otherwise. He had never thought he would consider Bones's sexual openness as something positive, but he was starting to think maybe it wasn't that bad.
Of course, less than 2 weeks after that talk, it happened again.
This time Brennan decided she could handle it on her own. After all, she could imagine what Angela would say. It was something in the lines of "Talk to Booth". And she could also guess that she would be more insisting on addressing the topic of what had started to be referred as a real relationship. But Bones was more than sure there was nothing of that sort to begin with, so it was pointless. However, the issue in hand, that being sex, had to be faced in the proper manner. And for Bones it was the "This never happened" conversation all over again. Which was fine, because it was a rather short conversation.
Watching Brennan working on her computer half absentminded gave Angela the info she had not been provided with verbally. Considering that this time she had not been invited to discuss it, she decided not to ask. For some reason, she preferred not to be in the middle of Booth and Brennan. Thought to Angela that wasn't a totally unpleasant image. She shook that thought away, it certainly wasn't helpful. Angela entered in Brennan's office and brought her up to date in the latest facial reconstruction. It had been a hit to a missing person case from the middle 90s. Which probably had to mean a call to the FBI. And it also meant that Brennan needed to take another look at the remains. Angela directed another smile to her reassuring her what, Bones had no clue.
So she made the call, casual, standad issue call. With the all common banter. Not a single mention at either end of the line of the night before, maybe they weren't having the never happened talk again.
They worked the case just like they did all the others, which was great. Not a suggestion of any kind. That, of course, kept half the Jeffersonian and the FBI still convinced that they were involved, but they were used to it. Not that they could pin point exactly why people thought that, not before nor after their encounters. Still they kept on denying it whenever mentioned or hinted to them.
Needless to say they continued to engage in urge fulfilling endeavours. Never talking about it, because they realized that if they couldn't not do it, it was better not to talk about it. Angela continued waiting for Bones to confide in her, but soon she assumed she had said something wrong last time... she suspected it was the maybe you want a relationship thing. It wasn't like Brennan to exclude her from her sex life.
As for them, they were doing fine. They were at that point where you can tell what makes the other one tick. The moment in which you can go a bit further in confessions on what you like if the other had not yet explored it. He was dazzled by her, by how natural it was for her to let go, to become an instrument of feelings and sensations in stead of her usual hyper rational self. He loved how she managed to scratch his back and scream to the top of her lungs one minute and kiss him ever so softly the next. He was crazy about the things she did, and they way she did them. How she licked him up and down and was able to toss him out of his senses with one look or one touch. He was surprised that she didn't started with the alfa male analysis of him right after.
She was satisfied. That's what she would say if asked. The truth was she was out of her own brain. There was something about Booth, about having sex with him, that had her overwhelmed. The way he touched her. The way he looked at her. The way he could be all the men of the world on her bed. From the sweetest most caring one to the roughest most hungry lover all at once. He had shattered her world. He had her a bit out of her axis.
They both knew that when they touched, he was lit on fire and she melted like ice. Or the other way around. Even both at the same time. Which was something they actually enjoyed, until one day they realized that they had given each other that look when he placed his hand on her back while looking at a skeleton on the platform. He took his hand off as fast as he could and she remained as still as her muscles allowed her. People saw it, but it wasn't news to anyone that they sometimes got a little jumpy at the contact.
That night, it took them some time to recover. She felt her entire body explode, her skin electrified, no air in her lungs and a rush of substances she could not name at the moment. She had always been able to, that was puzzling. He was in a similar state, his soul somewhere else, or all over, as if the space of his body wasn't enough for it. As he laid back, he pulled her with him and they rested for a few moments. She was spent. It took her all of her will to unglue herself from him and sit on the edge of the bed. She lazily reached for her clothes, the only ones in sight were her undergarments. The rest was scattered somewhere between the living room and the bedroom. She sighed her exhaustion as she started her redressing process.
"Want to stay the night?" He asked half way in a yawn.
An alarm went off in her head, it had Angela's voice, and she almost made a run for it. "We're not together, you know? This is not a relationship." That is what came out of her mouth, which is very similar to a verbal run for it. The amazing thing is she finished the sentence looking straight into his eyes, no readable emotion in hers.
He was rather shocked. Try as he might, he could not see the relation between his question and her reply. Turning into a Neanderthal if for the briefest of moments, he had to wonder if every woman had that strange line of thought, even the logical brilliant one sitting on his bed at the current time. "What?" No, he could not elaborate pass that.
"You are asking me that because it's late and I'm tiered, right?" Dead silence, of course, while he tried and didn't success to grab her meaning. The lack of response forced her to keep talking. She used that manner fitted to her attempts to explain things matter of factly when they probably weren't "I'm saying that you don't have to ask me to stay the night since what we are doing is in no way to maintain some sort of conventional relationship, therefore there is no need to follow the more traditional rules"
He frowned as the words reached his ears and the idea was comming slowly to him. What the hell was she talking about and why on dear earth has his simple offer became such a complicated thing? For such a literal person, she sure started to make leaps of meanning worthy of a clinging girlfriend, a very articulate one. "No, I was just asking... if you wanted to sleep over. You can go if you prefer."
A short silence before she gathered her ideas "Yes, I do. Good night, Booth" She stood up and finished dressing up in the living room once she had all of her clothing.
She didn't look mad or upset. He still felt that somethig was out of tune. "Good night" He said before hearing the door close. What was it, that didn't fit into place? Before he could start to consider possibilities he was sound asleep.
He woke up the next morning and headed to work. The little chat kept bothering him, there was something there that was not ok, that didn't add up. He gave it some thought, seeing if he had said something wrong, but if so he could not say what. He had to dissect her reaction, but he knew he was way into the situation to read it clearly. Help was needed but he was not the kind of man that discussed his private life with people. After a thorough consideration, he decided that even when uncomfortable and a bit embarrassing, he had to go to Father McCue. That's how confusing everything was, he was going to consult his sex life with a priest. But it was really the best move. He couldn't talk to FBI guys because all they would say was "so you've been tapping that fine piece of woman" actually, it would be more on the line of "fine piece of ass" and he would have to punch them. It's not the kind of thing that one talks about with long lost friends either. And people from the Jeffersonian was out of the question for obvious reasons. That left Father McCue, who long ago had stopped giving penitence, although not discouragement, for casual sex. He called the good man and asked him to see him in the evening. Knowing Booth as well as he did, the Father agreed.
Father McCue was a very understanding man. He had known Booth for some time now, and had become quite fond of him. For such a troubled man, he exuded life; and his heart was kind and generous. Not to mention that he made an effort to attend mass at least once a week. At Booth request they went into chambers. When he finally started talking, he felt his ears burn with blood, he was not use to review this topic with a man of the clergy. He gave his account of events as well as he could recall them. And he explain the strange feeling he got. Father McCue listened with full attention. He nodded when Booth was finished, he could see the predicament. And he felt Booth's concern. He wished he had more experience, but young people with this sort of problems didn't usually went to him for advise, so he stuck with what he believed and the what he knew from established though conflicted couples.
"You're a fine young man, Seeley. And this partner of yours seems to be a well hearted woman" Booth was listening in silence. The Father sighed "But you are not being honest with each other. I can not tell you what to do and you already know the Church's view on these matters, but it's you that have to come to terms with what you are doing." Father McCue had a very soothing voice and a slow cadence, if not the words at least the sound of them was allowing Booth to relax. "If you are here today, it is not because of you have done, but for what you are going to do. Remember that it's not just you, and that your needs and wishes are not the only ones to be considered. Remember that your friend can be also be feeling this distress. Above all, remember she's your friend, and act according to that feeling."
"Thank you Father." Said Booth after a silence during which he not only considered the advise but wondered why priests tended to speak like Yoda. Respect her you must. He punished himself immediately for that thought, of course, an apologetic grin in his face the Father did not understood.
"Yes, see you this Sunday, Seeley?"
He pursed his lips "I'll do my best"
Yes, he would. Father McCue knew he would.
Brennan sat on her living room having discarded Angela's invite to a girls night out. Angela had said something about Bren needing to blow off some steam since she looked tense. When she refused, Angela had said "You know I love you, don't you" with a warm smile. Brennan had stood up, walked up to her and hugged her. It was the way she had to express her feelings, because she never ever reciprocated such a statement. It was as good as it get. Maybe she should stay, trying to make her talk, take away the cloud that lingered over her that day. But one more look convinced her otherwise. This was not talkative Brennan, it was a rather get out of my face Brennan.
"Good. Bye, Sweetie"
So now Brennan was sitting on her couch absolutely absorbed by the book she was reading. It was a very good essay that compared and contrasted anthropological theories with a interesting point of view. She made a mental note to call this doctor. It might be interesting to listen a lecture or work in something together.
The knock on the door didn't took her by surprise. She had assumed that at some point he'd call or show up. She closed her book and opened the door. She smiled at the 2 cups of coffee he was holding. It was so out of place that he smiled himself. She lead him in and accepted the coffee. God, when he did things like this, she could kiss him forever. She slapped that thought out of her head. Yeah, they had those smiles on their faces, lips pursed and slightly to the side, and their eyes gleamed as they stared for a moment. You could count with one hand how many times a silence had been more charged than this one.
"Thanks for the coffee" She said, because something had to be said eventually.
"Yeah..." Al thought he knew what he wanted to say, he could not start. "You know... we can't do this, right? This is not right." His expression had changed and was now very grave, like all the times he told her she was special.
She fought to keep the smile intact. Her eyelids fluttered a few times, before she looked straight at him. Why again they couldn't? Oh, yes, no relationships at work, right, she remembered now. The pursed lips gave place to a tight smile. Those eyes of him, even when he was pretty much breaking up with her, they managed to pull a smile out of her. Her eyes lit up a bit. She sighed a "Yes, we can't." Which was a senseless phrase, but he got it. Of course they couldn't, and the fact that they were having this conversation was actually hilarious. She shook her head, he was getting away with it, he was charming her as she got dumped.
He relaxed again, like when she let him win a banter. It was half a relief half an inside joke. After all, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for her and her eyes, and her throaty voice, her snorts, her squinting and the long legs, the wide hips and usually well concealed breasts. And yet, he did not want a relationship with Bones. Put it all in a pocket and walk away with he memory, Booth. "So, no more..." How to phrase it lightly?
"No more biological imperative attended between us." She made the joke at her expense. She sipped her coffee. "I'd have coffee with you"
"In an strictly conversational setting" His smile broad.
"Of course... as long as I can choose the place"
"Come on, 5 bucks for a coffee doesn't make sense"
"I'll pay my own, but I still get to choose the place"
"Bones, it's a Friday night, were you Reading?"
"Yes. In fact it's a very interesting..."
The conversation went on, with some laughs and bickering. By the time he left, he felt pure happiness. It had worked out better than he had expected, better than he could have imagined. He had obviously underestimated Bones, thinking that he could harm her just by letting go of their physical relationship. Thinking that she wanted a relationship which he was not willing to have.
However, during the entire time he was there, she had this feeling, as if a hypodermic needle was stuck somewhere in her body but she could not guess where.
Any observer could have sworn nothing had changed between them. It was the small things, the things that no one noticed what had changed significantly. Even when they kept on getting unnecessarily close to talk, they never touched. Never, not even when crossing a threshold at the same time. She never again took his gun carelessly, nor cried on his shoulder. As a matter of fact, she stopped crying all together. Not that she was much of a crier to begin with. No more guy hugs. No more hand on the small of her back or her shoulder as they walked, and certainly no helping her with her coat. For Booth it was perfect, and he made a point to tell Father McCue how well everything was. He was very proud of himself and Bones. And Bones, well... Bones was Bones.
Some time went by like that. The sessions with Sweets always ended as usual in a small display of disregard towards the poor guy, the cases got solved, which was, even when sad and twisted, something good. At the lab, the regular good manners, the little fights, the territorial thing when a new assistant came. Things were on track.
That was until he did something stupid.
Diner, interior, day. Bones was sitting by the window, a coffee in front of her. Sweets, opposite her though no drink there, just an opened file. He was giving a profile, which to her was as good as any of Booth's guts things. And in came Booth and sat next to her, cool and hyper as always. He threw some clever line she did not get. His leg brushed hers and as she moved it away, a firm hand rested on her knee and froze their legs in contact. She felt like jumping away, screaming as if she had seen a ghost (not that they exist), kiss him senseless and slap his face all at once. Which would have been nothing if not for the fact that the hand started to move up and down her thigh. It was difficult for her not to gasp. It was impossible to control the muscles of her neck from tightening. And the goddamn hand just moved up, the little finger now on her center. My God, was he aware of what he was doing? The hand, his hand continued to move, though the strokes were shorter. Why couldn't she faint, why couldn't she drop dead? Why couldn't he just take his stupid hand and put her in his pocket? Where was the surgical saw to cut her leg off? As soon as she could move again she was going to shoot him. And then the hand was gone, Booth was standing and saying "Let's go, Bones" and she had just lost the entire conversation.
"Dr. Brennan, are you ok?" That was Sweets. Bones thought that for a trainned psychologist he lacked observational skills.
"Yes" And with that she followed Booth to the SUV and wherever they were going.
Actually, funny fact, although Bones wouldn't have call it that, he didn't mean to touch her. He didn't think to touch her, it hadn't been his intention. If anything, it was the opposite. He had rushed in, sat next to her, and listened to Sweets. He had spoken too, and he had received a call saying the suspect was now at the Hoover Building and they were waiting to start the interrogation. Granted, as soon as he sat he felt the day was suddenly brighter, but his mind was somewhere else.
She was silent, he was talking about the case, which was good because if he hadn't she would have had to kill him. They weren't doing that anymore, they couldn't, they shouldn't. He said they couldn't, as far as she remembered she had only agreed not to do it, she might have been supportive, but sure as hell it hadn't been her idea. Why on earth had he done it? Her cell rang, she put it on speaker. Cam on the other end, giving confirmation on what they suspected. And then Brennan saw her window of opportunity. In between "Email me that" and "Ask Hodgins to do whatever" she reached out, opened his fly, drowned her hand in, and started to stroke him.
"Bones, What the hell?" He started only to rethink the whole speaker phone thing and shutting up.
"Is... everything alright?" Cam's curious voice echoed in the car.
"Yes." Brennan replied.
"So, do you want me to send you those files?" Cam's voice remained the same.
"Yes, thank you, talk to you later." Brennan answered her and cut off the communication, all the time stroking him. She was not stopping.
His face was transformed, horror replaced the cocky (no pun intended) look. He was aroused, he was on shock. When he tried to grab her wrist to stop her she said quietly "Hands on the wheel, are you trying to kill us?"
"Are you??? What the hell are you doing?" He was almost shouting. Had she lost her mind?
"Oh, so it's ok for you to pretty much masturbate me in front of Sweets at the diner, but I can't do it in the car?" her fist all the way up and back, slowly, gently. One might have expected hers to be an angry, vindictive question and somehow it wasn't.
So that was it. He'd been caressing her leg, her tight to be accurate, rather the upper inner part of her thigh, yes, yes, yes, he recalled now. But he had done it unintentionally, just because that's where his hand went, in its free will, maybe just seeking for what it perceived as natural. Booth, his mind, right now needed to come back to the car and the current situation, she was giving him a hand job. "You need to stop." He said infuriated but loosing it.
"I'm not, so you better park." She picked up the pace slightly.
He wanted to... stop the car, stop the world, just stop. He sent the car into the first underground parking lot he spotted, wheels squeaking. Thanks God for the FBI ID that granted him unquestioned entrance and also for not letting him hit any car as he actually parked.
When the car came to be still, the only thing moving was her hand. Booth took his hand off the wheel and looked down to make her stop. But the sight, her delicate beautiful hand doing nothing wrong, almost innocent. And then her face. The eyes holding back nothing, just seeing him, reading him. Not a hint of mischief on them. He just placed his hand on hers and accompanied the motions. There was something extremely powerful about it. He looked at her again. He had surrendered, he was in her hands. They were now pumping faster and harder, although he could have sworn time had stopped. Her lips dropped opened as she leaned and bend down. He almost died at the contact, mouth and hand working together on him. He tried to stop her, he tried not to come in her mouth, but she pushed his hands away and made him lose his mind, his breath and his control with lips, tongue, fingers and inner cheeks. She melted having him exposed like that, no matter how many times they had done it before. She stoked a few more times, just because she wanted, because she could.
He was panting, trying to get some air back in. God, this woman. This woman that was now lifting her head, straightening her back and looking at him. She gave him time to catch up, and when she was sure he was back, she leaned forward and kissed his lips, eyes closed, deep breath intake through the nose. He replied likewise. And when they looked again, he just understood. He rearranged himself, got out of the car, walked to her door, ushered her out as well, all in utter silence, and kissed her as if for the first time. That moment when you know it's going to happen, and the butterflies in your belly seem to have wings of fire. It's slow motion playing fast forward, it's the buildup of the century in three seconds. She had the same look she had had years ago, when a boy kissed her for the first time and even when she knew what was going on she did not understand it completely. But Booth did, and that was good enough. So he kissed her. Mouths molding, tongues twirling, heads tilting. His hands at each side of her waist, hers on his arms. And when they broke the kiss there was nothing left to say. They stared at each other for a moment, and then went back into the SUV, back to the case.
Resting on her back on her bed, after sliding from the headboard, attached to him, he as reluctant to let go as her, she stared at the ceiling.
"Bones, you alright?" He was there, on his side, looking at her.
She blinked. "Yes." Her face was very still, yet absolutely relaxed. "I was just thinking of physics..."
"You're very strange."
"I've been told that" She said matter of factly.
He broke a grin. She was very strange indeed. He felt that a bit of clarification was needed "Now we are in a relationship, you know" Why hadn't he want that before? He didn't know.
"Yes, I do know." She thought again "It's was you who said one shouldn't engage in a relationship with a partner in our line of work"
"Yeah, well, you know what Bones? I was wrong" He said smirking apologetically.
"I knew that."
"What do you mean you knew that?" He smiled at her half amused half shocked.
"I mean that the subjective nature of feelings itself makes it natural that our reactions towards the potential or actual danger in which those we care about might be involved are going to be tainted or radically affected, making us act irrationally regardless of the feelings being those of partnership, friendship, family bond, or a romantic involvement." She explained as if it was obvious.
He almost laughed "Why didn't you say so sooner?" He loved the banter.
"One cannot force certain realizations into a subject. A determine evolution of the thinking process must be achieved prior to the revelation of facts or logical links. Piaget was who studied and documented it working with infants of varying ages." Again the scientific explanation of everything.
He flashed her they boy-ish smile of him, how did she managed to turn scientific mambo jumbo into pillow talk? God, he loved this woman. "Well, I am all evolved now."
"Yes, I'm very proud of you." She used a mocked patronizing tone.
"And..." But he didn't say it, because Bones didn't believe in such thing as love.
"I believe you" That coming from Bones, translated into me too to his unspoken declaration.