Takes place before 7.17 The Born-Again Identity, but flashbacks to a few days after 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King

Meg Masters could not remember being human anymore. She tried. She tried all night. When she should be sleeping she had stayed up, staring at the ceiling of a hotel as far away from America and everyone there as possible.

She could remember many things.

Like the time she crawled out of hell, twice. How she had struggled and fought to get out of that terrible, disgusting place. She had been thrilled when she finally got out that horrible cage, especially when she found that meatsuit. She had felt such freedom and she would do whatever her cold heart wanted. And she did. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on the Winchester and the horrors she had committed. She even remember using Sam as a meatsuit and taunting that little blond hunter, Jo something. She remembered the happiest day of her life, the day Lucifer was released from that prison and all her dreams would finally come true. Her reason to wake up in the morning was to follow Yellow-eyes plan and to live in a world where Lucifer ruled. It would be her heaven on earth. She especially remembered when everything she dreamed of and worked for crumpled at the hands of those Winchesters and an angel.

She especially remembered that angel. It was the most frustrating thing ever. She could remember everything about that sappy trench coat wearing halo. She remembered the first time she meet him. When those soft blue eyes fell on her face and his upper lip curled with disgust at the presence of a demon and all those times between. There bickering. Her comments and his confusion. That kiss. That stupid kiss. How that simple action that truly meant nothing to her still managed to change her. She would not even let her mind wander to that kiss or she fear she never get rid of it. No, she might remember every moment or second she shared with Castiel but that didn't mean she had to think about it.

But why couldn't she remember being human? Was she really that far away from her humanity? Could she really not remember the time she had been a normal human girl, who had no idea that monsters and demons really exist? The worst part of it all was she didn't even know how she got herself landed in hell. She didn't even know her real name.

That was an embarrassment really. What girl couldn't remember her name that she had to adopt her meatsuit's name? Though Meg fit her she still longed to hear someone call her by her real name.

Frustrated that she couldn't remember her old life she got out of bed and headed towards the window. To her surprise the sun was raising over the Mediterranean Sea already, the blue waters turning an almost purple color with the sun. She could have sworn that it was still night time and the moon was out. How could she lose track of so much time? She guessed staying in an expensive hotel in the southern tip of France would do that to you.

She turned away from the window, letting out a groan of displeasure at the sight of all that Godly beauty. She was a woman of simple taste and staring at gorgeous sunrise was not one of them. Now watching Crowley's head being torn to shreds with her fingernails that would be a lovely sight. Things were so much better before Crowley started calling the shots. Meg had started considering the days before Crowley as the golden years.

Meg opened the mini fridge, almost ripping the door off at the simple thought of Crowley. How she hated that man. Her hatred towards him actually made her think and act differently. Not like her old demon self that was for sure. In the glory days she would do and hurt anyone without even blinking. Hell, she let her hellhounds kill that little Jo and her mother, all with a smile wide on her face. But times are different. Now she hardly recognizes herself. She even worked with her once hated enemies Sam and Dean Winchester just for her little rivalry with Crowley. And Castiel. That was when he kissed her.

Pushing passed the sodas and candy, Meg grabbed the hard liquor at the back of the fridge and popped it open. She knew that everything in this fridge was ridiculously over price and this bottle probably was going to cost her a hefty amount but she could care less. They could charge her whatever they wanted. She was above human concerns such as a money or expense. Though she might have lost her edge and become a laughing stock to the demon community she still was a demon and she would do whatever she wanted. No one could take her freedom, even if she was a wanted woman.

Meg brought the bottle to her lips, drinking straight from the mouth. The alcohol burned her throat or her meatsuit's anyway, as it worked its way down. She wished she could skip this and get to the drunk part. She didn't want to be standing anymore and even less wanted to keep thinking. She had been thinking too much lately. Like about the time she was human.

Meg carried her bottle to the window and fell into a chair, kicking her feet up on the windowsill. Maybe she would look outside and take in the beauty of the sea. She couldn't help but smile to herself at that thought. She really could not stand that stupid beauty crap.

Just when she was about to finish the whole bottle Meg heard a loud knock against her door. That was never a reassuring sound. She put the bottle on the floor and replaced it for the angel sword she stole from Castiel. It was a good weapon to have. Even if it was a demon at the door, stabbing the idiot would kill it and give her enough time to get the hell out of there.

Maybe this would turn out to be fun. She hadn't had any action in weeks. She was starting to get bored.

Meg walked to the door quickly, the knife outstretched in her hand and ready to strike. She turned the door knob quickly, pointing the sword swiftly at the person's chest standing in her doorway. Her face fell when she saw who the person was. It was one of the few demon friends she had left. A low ranking, Lucifer loyalist demon who was lying just as low as Meg named August. If he was here then he had news for her and that could be bad.

"Auggie," Meg said using the nickname he hated most in the world. "You almost lost a limb there. Should be more careful when you knock on a lady's door."

August black eyes landed on the sword, his lips forming a twisted smile that looked off on the tiny meatsuit of his. He pushed the tip of the blade away from his chest. "Meg I wish I could say that I am happy to see you but to be honest I find your presence somewhat repulsive."

Meg leaned close to August, her mouth inches from his ear in a flirtatious gesture. "Auggie you're such a sweet talker." She brought the blade back up so it was directly under his neck. She smiled a charming wide smile at him that was as sarcastic as everything else she uttered. "You better have a reason to be here other than to try to get in my sheets, handsome."

August grinded his teeth, pulling his face away from the tip. "Stop pointing that thing at me and maybe I'll tell you something of your interest."

"What?" Meg said without removing the knife.

"Put the sword down." Meg gave a dry chuckle, doing as August said simply because he had her attention. Nothing perked her interest then news.

"Apparently you don't have to be a crossroad demon to make a deal." Meg turned around and headed back to her bottle. She sat down in the chair, keeping the blade in her lap as she retrieved her bottle and took a swing from it. August came into the room, his eyes narrowing at the sight. Oh demons and their trust issues. Well, maybe this one had a reason to be cautious. Meg was smaller but she was quicker and stronger. She could make this demon run out here crying from the torture she learned in hell. And this was her friend; imagine what she do to a stranger.

"Are you going to put that thing away so we can actually talk?" August snapped when he realized Meg was not going to put the sword away.

Meg smiled around the rim of the bottle. "Auggie you are starting to bore me and when I get bored I get creative."

"Fine," August caved in, his eyes bursting into angry flames. If she was a human Meg probably would have been terrified by the truly demonic anger that flared around August, all pointed in her direction. Or maybe not. How could she know for sure? She couldn't remember her own name. "I heard some news on that angel that double crossed Crowley and hangs out with those disgusting Winchesters."

Meg was rarely caught off guard. In fact the only time she ever was surprised was when she was around those Winchester boys. But they were strange humans, demons were nothing like them. They were for one thing very predictable and ninety percent nothing they said to her she didn't already know or care about. But August truly had her by surprise, with her jaw slacking a little and her cockiness gone. He saw this and broke into a toothy, demented grin.

"What about the angel?" She asked though she really wished she didn't have to. She hated being in this situation.

August leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as he soaked in Meg's obliviousness like it was the prettiest sight ever. He better enjoy it because once she got the news she needed she would no longer need August. She still was debating if she should keep him alive. He was one of the few surviving Lucifer loyalist who had not been killed or start following that smug Scottish pig. But that would not stop Meg for killing him just so she wouldn't have to see that smile ever again.

"I heard some very interesting news about him recently from a very reliable source. Very few demons actually know what happened to Castiel. In fact many think he is dead-"

"He is dead," Meg said coldly, taking a long drink from the bottle. It was a shame what happened to Castiel. Meg was actually somewhat disappointed when she heard the news that Castiel had died after trying to play God then letting out some purgatory creatures that apparently were real nasty. She liked Castiel. Loved to see those innocent and naïve features of his curl in anger or confusion whenever she opened her mouth. She found him interesting and it was almost upsetting knowing he was gone.

"Or so you think," August said smugly, smiling even wider. He just loved knowing more than Meg and in ten minutes that little cockiness was going to end very badly for him.

"Why don't you skip the foreplay and get straight to it." Meg moved the sword on her lap, subtly reminding August that she still had some control over this conversation and August life.

The smile slipped from his face and once more became cold. "The angel is still alive. His been spotted in Colorado living with some human named Daphne Ellen. Only he goes by a different name and does not seem to have any recollection that he is an angel. He goes by the name Emmanuel and calls himself a healer."

Meg took in this information, trying to keep her emotions and her cluelessness out of her face. Her Clarence was alive? Well that was very interesting and most likely she wasn't the only one who felt this way towards the news. If Crowley found out about this, and he will, he would probably try to get his nasty hands on Castiel. But Meg wouldn't let that happen. He could get his own angel to torment because this one was hers.

"Who else knows about this?" Meg asked, knowing that it could be life or death for Castiel depending on who knows about his existence. People would be all too willing to throw the poor sap to Crowley in hopes of getting on his good side. Meg couldn't let that happen. Not because she cared all that much about Castiel but because Crowley did care. He wanted Castiel for stabbing him in the back and because of the nice girl Meg was she couldn't let that happen.

"A handful of demons but not too much. I say about ten or fifteen guys not counting me and you. I bet Crowley still doesn't know about it. I'm sure some lucky demon will bag it and hand him over to him though for a nice Christmas present."

Meg jumped to her feet, feeling her head swim slightly from drinking the whole bottle of liquor straight. She dropped the bottle to the floor, walking slowly but deliberate towards August, the angel's sword tip dragging against the floor.

"You've been a real help, Auggie, really I could kiss you." Meg wrapped an arm around August large shoulder, bringing her face close to his seductively. She brushed her lips against his softly, he was to surprise to reject or push her away. "I honestly don't know what I would do without."

With his attention otherwise occupied she quickly brought the sword up and thrust it between August's ribcage. The impact of her hit send August smashing against the wall, his head dipped back as he screamed and a light electrified his body like it does for all demons when they die. August's dead meatsuit fell to the floor, staining the hotel's carpet with the blood coming out his wounds. The surprised facial expression was still frozen on August dead face.

"Guess it's time to make new friends," Meg said to August dead body as she pulled her blade out his chest, wiping the blood off on his coat. She reached into August's jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet, taking the money out before throwing it on the floor. With this extra money she could afford another bottle of vodka to herself.

She would need it since it seemed she was going back to America. It was crazy to believe that after months of jumping around and hiding from Crowley and other demons that could bring her to him that she was actually going back to the place where she would no doubt get caught. It was somewhat safer here in Europe and she was going to hop on a plane for an angel. Oh, the irony.

As she packed she tried to keep herself from thinking about what she was doing and who she was doing it for. She was doing this for her petty hatred towards Crowley and nothing else. She was doing it so she could get under the Winchesters skin and nothing else. She was doing it because she was bored of being cooped up here with mean French people and nothing else. She was doing it so she could get back at all those demons who pissed her off and nothing else.

But if she was honest with herself she knew those were just small perks of going back. That there was a bigger reason behind her seeing Castiel. She reasoned that she might as well think about it. It would come out eventually when she saw that angel. The last time she saw Castiel still plagued her mind. It was a time that caused her to leave the country. It was something no one knew about even those nosey Winchesters. It was something between only Castiel and Meg. It was something they promise never to talk or think about yet it was always on their mind.

Meg opened a new bottle despite the fact she was almost completely drunk as she packed. It was going to be a long night and nothing helped move those nights along then alcohol. But no matter how much she poisoned her meatsuit she could not escape the memory.

Oh, well. Can't beat them, join them. Come on memories do your worst.