Disclaimer: I own no one. Not Samurai Deeper Kyo, a green St. Patty's day hat, or anything else.
A/N: a St. Patrick's day special, brought to you by my strange imagination. The SDK gang gives us a little insight to how they represent the Green for this holiday. Rated for language, a few questionable things, and Yukimura. Again. Hope you enjoy! Cuz this sure was a pain in the ass to write!
Represent' the Green SDK Style
It's that time of the year again folks! St. Patrick's day. It doesn't matter whether or not to wonder who the hell St. Patrick is, or if your Irish blood sings the moment ale hits your lips. St. Patrick's day is about one thing, and one thing only: Your green count. This day every year, teens attempt to one up each other when it comes to the number of green colored items they wear. How bout we see what the SDK gang has come up with?
Benitora walks into the line of sight, his usual outfit on, no green in sight. He twirls his spear a couple of times, and strikes a pose.
Liz: Tora, this is a St. Patty's day special. That means you have to wear something green. Don't make me get Yukimura and his happy charm go lucky ass on you.
A look of extreme alarm crosses the squinty eyed man's face as the image of a swaying Yukimura singing off key plays through his mind.
"Please don't send Yukimura-han in here!" Tora pleads, his eyes popping open just to show how freaked out he is. "He tried some genuine ale and..." at this the man shudders, "He started to molest the kid."
Liz: When does he not?
Tora scowls, "You weren't there!" he shrieks accusingly, jabbing a finger in what he assumed was my direction, "you have no idea how traumatizing it was to watch!"
Something green from the inside of Tora's mouth flashes among the glint of his white teeth.
Liz: what the hell is that in your teeth?
The 'camera' zooms in on the squinty eyed mans' mouth, and the answer is revealed. Tucked into a crevice of Tora's teeth is, what appears to be, a piece of lettice.
"What are you talking about?" Tora inquires, sliding his tongue across the front of his teeth, missing the piece of shrubbery by about a mile.
Liz: Don't worry about it Tora, just bring the next one in.
He shrugs and shuffles toward the door, "Fine, don't tell me."
Tora reaches for the doorknob, but glances back over his shoulder at the audience, "Oh let me tell you right now, Yuya-han's wearing green panties."
His face dissolves into a goofy grin, and hearts take on the form of his eyes.
"I AM NOT TORA!" screeches an indignant female voice from outside.
"You know, nobody likes a liar dogface," comments another voice.
"Shut up Kyo! My panty color is none of your business!"
"Sure it is. Now, let's see if smiley was right."
A gasp floats through the air, and then a sharp,
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!"
Liz: …Just send the next one in.
Tora exits with a disappointed sigh, and the next victim, er member of the gang enters.
Sasuke scowls at the audience, his toy making a clop-clop-clop sound as the ball lands in the cup with each flick of the boys wrist.
"Why am I doing this again?" he asks, golden eyes shooting an irritated glance around the room.
Liz: Because you're safe from Yukimura at the moment. And so you can show us your green.
The little ninja shrugs, tucks his toy into a fold of his shirt, and gestures toward the floor.
The 'camera' zooms in on his green sock clad feet, complete with little four leaf clovers.
Liz: Aww, I bet Yuya got you those, right?
Sasuke shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, "No, neechan didn't get these for me."
Flashback Mode
7:29 a.m
The lump on the futon abruptly sits up and pulls the covers off his face, revealing a bleary eyed Sasuke.
The boy rubs a hand through his wild silver hair and yawns. He throws the covers off his body and gets to his feet, stumbling toward the door.
After fumbling with the tricky doorknob a few times, Sasuke finally pries the door open and shuffles down the hall.
Scene Change
Sasuke boredly brings his tooth brush over his teeth, his face hovering above the sink filled with water, so as to not drip any tooth paste on the floor (Saizo gets pretty mad about that)
An uneasy feeling was quickly settling into the pit of the boys stomach. Because, you see, Yukimura hadn't greeted him yet. If years of servitude under (A/N: bwahahahaha!) the man had taught him anything, it was to expect a big, suffocating bear hug in the morning, nearly scaring you out of your wits.
Sasuke was getting suspicious. There were only two possible reasons for Yukimura not following through with his morning greeting.
A: He was dead
B: He was plotting something horrible.
Not for the first time in his life, Sasuke hoped for scenario A.
The little ninja runs his toothbrush along his bottom teeth, and happens to glance down at his feet. He catches something green in the corner of his eye, something horrifying.
A pair of green be-clovered socks greets him with their cheerful splash of color in the other wise dreary bathroom. The sight was enough to make Sasuke drop his toothbrush in the toilet by accident. And he did.
"YUKIMURA YOU BASTARD!" The ninja screams at the top of his lungs, the curse coming out as a long, enraged gurgle.
End Flashback
The audience watches, numb with shock.
Liz: So he just…crept into your bed last night and slipped them on?
A slightly red faced Sasuke nods, "Pretty much."
Ladies and gentlemen, the oddity that is Yukimura. May we pray for Sasuke's virgin soul.
"Sasuke liked my socks!" Yukimura chirps.
The audience members jump in surprise, while Sasuke's eyebrow twitches in annoyance.
Liz: we don't really need to ask you about your green now Yukimura…and we won't ask about Sasuke's socks either…
Indeed from head to foot, green was the color of Yukimura.
A tall green top hat say perched on top of his head, and around his neck were numerous glittering mardigras beads.
The raven haired man wore a black t-shirt with a green dinosaur on the front, green cargo pants, and brown flip flops.
"I knew Sasuke wouldn't wear green today, and I couldn't just let him get pinched, so I put those socks on him," Yukimura cheerfully explains, beaming a charming grin. The audience is nearly blinded by his 100 watt smile.
Liz: And just how much alcohol have you consumed today Yuki?
Yukimura shrugs gracefully, "I don't know. Not very much," he innocently replies, and immediately makes a bee-line for Sasuke.
He throws his arms around the boy and rubs his cheek against the top of his head.
"Sasuke loves my socks! Yes he does!" he coos.
"Get off me," Sasuke growls, teeth clenched together in anger.
Suddenly Saizo bursts through the door, an alarmed expression on his face,
"Yukimura-sama!" he exclaims in a dramatic booming voice.
The ninja had a bright puke green bandana across his forehead and a pair of groovy green coke bottle glasses over his eyes.
"See, I surprised Saizo with St. Patrick's day stuff too!" Yukimura points out.
"M-Maybe you shouldn't cuddle Sasuke, Yukimura-sama. He might try to hurt you," Saizo states, a nervous flutter in the timber of his voice.
"But Sasuke loves me! He'd never hurt me!" Yukimura slurs.
"If you don't get off of me in two seconds, I'm going to stab you in the eyeball," the silver hared teen snarls in warning.
"Sasuke don't you dare hurt Yukimura-sama!" Saizo fiercely shouts.
….Perhaps it'd be best to leave these three alone for awhile.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Next we have Akari and Akira, the Queen bee and the brat with the blue spot on his ass.
Akira furrows his brows in a glare, mouth set in a harsh line, "I never have or will have a blue spot on my ass!" he exclaims, unsheathing his twin swords and pointing them toward the narrator.
Liz: H-hey! I'm just reading off the card Akari gave me! Don't kill the messenger!
The pink haired woman giggles, "Oh Akira, always fussing about something. Takes me back to the days I used to change your diaper and such," she reminisces.
Akira fumes, a tick mark pulses angrily on his forehead, "Stop making stuff up Akari!" he snaps, waving a sword toward her.
Akari's eyes harden, the bright smile never leaving her face, "Watch where you point that thing or it'll be shoved where the sun don't shine. And by that, I mean up your ass," she murmurs mercilessly.
Akira pales considerably and quickly sheathes his swords, simultaneously choosing to scoot a good three feet away from the woman, nervously fiddling with his dark green tie.
Liz: So uh, Akari…tell me about this outfit you have on
She was dressed in a severely low cut green shirt, blue jeans and a pair of green pumps. Her long pink hair was styled into a messy bun on the back of her head, and a green hat sat perched on her head.
"Oh this little thing?" Akari nonchalantly asks, batting her eyes in a flirtatious manner, "I thought Kyo would appreciate this."
Akira snorts, thinking Akari wouldn't hear, "Why show off something you don't have?" he comments, referring to the pink haired woman's lack of breasts.
His mood was still sour from the blue ass comment.
The strawberry blond is suddenly flung into the wall, splattering against it with a sickening crunch. His body slides to the floor, limp like a rag doll.
Akari stands above him, fists clenched, flames dancing behind her in the background,
"HOW DARE YOU, YOU BLUE ASSES SCUM!" she bellows.
Yeah, if you value your life, please step this way to the next group.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Now we look in on our favorite brother duo, Shinrei and Hotaru.
Hotaru glances around, dull eyes shining with a glint of curiosity, "Hey Shinrei, it's not your birthday again is it? Stuffs' all colorful," he comments.
His silver haired companion shoots him an exasperated look, "My birthday is February," he states, with all the calmness he could muster, might I add, as if talking to a small child, "Today is St. Patrick's day. Can't you keep track of your days?"
The blond frowns, apparently in thought, "Akari-chan got me a calendar awhile ago...but I don't remember what I did with it…" he trails off.
Scene change
A calendar, flipped to the month of March. Marked on the square dated the 17th was scribbled in what looked like Akari's handwriting,
'St. Patrick's day. WEAR GREEN!' In big green letters.
Where was the calendar you ask? It was on the middle shelf of the fridge, sitting on top of the Tupperware container filled with four day old macaroni and cheese.
End scene change
Liz: So Shinrei, I see you have a new ribbon on. It's nice.
Shinrei's cheeks flush a rosey shade of embarrassed pink, and he fiddles with the loose ends of the ribbon, "This? It was a gift from Fubuki-sama."
Hotaru peers at his brother silently, then states,
"He has the weirdest hair I've ever seen. Is it sex hair? I've always wanted to kno, and you'd probably know for sure whether it was sex hair or not…"
Shinrei glares, opens his mouth to retort and…
Now for a brief intermission
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Three men sat in a tea house..
The first was a brunette with half his face covered by a mask. He raises a tea cup to his lips and hesitantly glances at the man to his left.
The man to his right abruptly dissolves into a fit of amused giggles, green eyes brimming with tears of mirth,
"S-so did you w-wake up like that, old friend?" he asks their other companion between chortles of laughter.
A growl sounds from his left,
"I'll get you for this Muramasa," the other man snarls, shooting his a cold glare.
"Oh Fubuki," the blond says, "you pull that look off splendidly."
"I look like a hippie," Fubuki retorts sourly, idly stroking a small white kitten in his lap.
"I've never seen a hippie with hair like that," comments their other companion, lips twitching into an unmistakable smirk.
That sends Muramasa into another laughing fit, leaning against the table for support.
"Look mommy, it's a leppircan!" exclaims an excited child, pointing at Fubuki in awe.
The mother glances at Fubuki , then grabs her child by the hand, "No sweetie, that's just a crazy man with green hair," she coos, leading the toddler out of the shop.
Fubuki growls, slamming the cup onto the table and rises to his feet, cradling the feline in his arms, "I'm going home, but know this Muramasa," he fixes the blond with a glare alight with fury, "I will have my revenge!"
With that said, he marches away, trying to refrain some dignity as passersby point and chuckle to themselves.
A moment of silence descends upon the table.
"So Muramasa, how did you manage to dye his hair green?" Hishigi questions.
The blond grins, "That I owe to my dear student, Kyo. He did the same thing to me five years ago."
Hishigi chuckles, slowly shaking his head, "Fubuki's going to kill you, you know that right?"
Muramasa shrugs, "There comes a time in every man's life when his best friend tries to murder him over something foolish like this," he casually replies.
"Yeah whatever you say. But I had nothing to do with this," the other man states.
"Right," murmurs his companion, "So says the man who lent me the key to his room."
Hishigi casts an innocent glance at Muramasa, "I have no idea what you're talking about," he coolly says.
Muramasa sighs, "Ah Hishigi..." a pause, "We've got to do something next year as well."
A wicked glint flashes in Hishigi's eye, "Already working on it."
And now back to our scheduled program.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
A charred and flooded room is the only traces of the brothers presence in the room. They'd been moved to another one.
Shinrei scowls, shooting a glare at his brother, "I can't believe we're even related."
Hotaru sends him an equally fierce glare, "You took the words right out of my mouth."
Liz: let's not stray from the topic boys. Hotaru, what green do you have on?
The blond purses his lips into a thin line, "This morning when I went to the bathroom, and the words 'property of H.I.R' were printed in green paint on my butt."
Shinrei's eyes narrow suspiciously, "Hey, isn't that your…"
Liz: W-what are you accusing me of! That's not my pen name, what are you talking about?
The silver haired man raises an eyebrow, "I didn't say any of that," he trails off, the silence speaking volumes.
Liz: Uh…I definitely wouldn't paint a property of sign in pine green paint on someone's ass. MOVING ON!
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Kyo lounges on a padded lawn chair, feet propped up on a cardboard box.
"Make this quick, I don't have all day," he boredly states, twirling a pair of green panties between his fingers.
Liz: I guess that's your green then?
The crimson eyed man smirks, "This is merely a door prize. This," he gestures to his green tie, "is what Yukimura traded me for two jugs of sake. His smirk falls slightly in disappointment at the mention of the lost sake.
Liz:…You gave up sake for a tie! Are you high or something!
Kyo rolls his eyes, "I can easily get some with this," he fishes a leather wallet out of his pocket.
Liz: Isn't that Yuya's?
The door bangs open, nearly flying off the hinges, "KYO! GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET!" the blond haired girl bellows, "AND MY PANTIES!"
Kyo chuckles darkly, "If you want them," he dangles the panties in the air by a fingertip, "come and get them."
Yuya growls angrily and stomps over to him, reaching for the panties as soon as she arrives at his knees.
Kyo's eyes flash dangerously, and in one sweep of his knees, he trips the girl forward. She goes toppling into his lap with a shriek, resting her open palms against his chest for balance, her legs parting against his thighs.
"Oh? I never knew you were so forward dogface," he taunts, smirking victoriously down at her.
Yuya's face was flame red as she stutters, "S-shut up Kyo," but makes no move to get off the mans lap.
Liz: Well that just about wraps up our St. Patty's day special!
Scene Change: Behind the scenes actually
Bon huffs, "She didn't even ask me what green thing I had on," he complains.
Akari sighs, rolling her eyes skyward, "Fine Bon. If only to stop your bitching. How did you represent the green?
Akira snorts, "He probably painted his tongue green or something," he snidely remarks.
Hotaru blinks, "Could he have painted a green dot on his butt, to match you?" he asks.
Bon's single eye narrows, "NO! Why would I do something stupid like that? The brat can keep being the only ass spotted one for all I care!"
Akira's face turns red, "MY ASS IS NOT BLUE SPOTTED!"
"Just spit it out already. We've got places to be, people to fuck," Kyo pipes up.
Yuya, from her perch on Kyo's lap, turns an even darker shade of red if possible, "K-Kyo don't joke like that!"
"Whose joking?" the crimson eyed man retorts.
"So?" says Akari," what did you do?"
Bon puffs his chest out proudly, "I" a dramatic pause, "colored my dick green with a green sharpie!"
Another pause.
Akari burst into laughter, "OH MY GOD, you're such an idiot!" she exclaims.
Akira sighs in exasperation, "You're going to get an infection," he chides.
Hotaru nods in agreement, "Yeah, and then it'll fall off."
Bon's single eye widens in alarm.
"Did you really Bontemaru-san?" questions a disgusted Yuya.
"HE DID! Bon-chan is good with sharpies!" Yukimura pipes up from a few feet away.
Kyo chuckles, "You're a complete dumbass," he states.
Bon slumps in his seat, defeated, "Man this holiday sucks," he whines.
Two days later he indeed got an infection. But the good doc gave him some medicine, and it'll all be ok in a few weeks.
Bon's pride however, took fatal damage. Humiliation is a fierce foe.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
end. The sharpied…thing actually happened to a friend of mine today. I didn't ask for proof, but I believe him. I hope you enjoyed. I did even if it was a pain in the ass. It's 11 right now, and I'm tired as hell so please excuse spelling errors and such. Just let me know, nicely and I'll fix. Please read and review, flames will be laughed at.
HotIceRed