A/N: Nobody kill me! I do not own Twilight and I am not trying to disrespect it, in fact, I love it! But this is something I wrote for fun! Please tell me what you think and also if there is any point in me continuing!

Xoxo

Skye

Edward sat at his house all alone in the darkness of his room on his laptop. "I shall never find true love." He sighed as he signed up for yet another vampire dating website. It seemed that love was out to get him. What did he ever do to deserve this life of loneliness and sorrow? These vampire dating websites were usually fakes anyhow. None of the people were actual vampires because actual vampires didn't sign up for silly websites. They had no need, everyone but Edward seemed to have already found their soul mate. Almost immediately after he signed up, girls started to message him. Most of them confessed to not being vampires but one of them stood out in particular. Her name was Milkshakebabe and she was beautiful, although she looked a bit like Rosalie would with dark hair.

He participated in this conversation:

EdwardCullen: hello, I'm Edward Cullen

Milkshakebabe: I am Emmetalie Rosalie

EdwardCullen: You seem to have two of my sibling's names in your username

Milkshakebabe: I think you're cute 

EdwardCullen: you are as well 

Milkshakebabe: So do you write music?

EdwardCullen: Yes, I do, it says on your profile that you do as well.

Milkshakebabe: I do, I write music about your penis.

EdwardCullen: um…alright?

Milkshakebabe: And your smooth white belly button in the moonlight.

EdwardCullen: Why would one write a song about a belly button?

Milkshakebabe: Because it's your good-looking belly button, it's called the Edward's belly button song!

EdwardCullen: um…I would love to hear that someday…but I have to go soon…

Milkshakebabe: NO don't leave me my one true love!

EdwardCullen: Ok, Ok I won't leave you, but how do you know that I am your one true love, for, we have only just met!

Milkshakebabe: No we haven't, I have known you for a while now ;-)

EdwardCullen: I don't recall meeting you.

Milkshakebabe: Want to come with me to a club where people wee on each other?

EdwardCullen: Um…I could think of better venues.

Milkshakebabe: Do you love me?

EdwardCullen: Um…I don't know, we have only just met.

Milkshakebabe: I think I can deal with that, I will deal with it just like I dealt with all of my other boyfriends! BY KILLING THEM! I am a passionate person you see; let's meet in the woods tonight can we?

EdwardCullen: Sure, why not…I haven't got much to loose

Milkshakebabe: OK! Come on lets go now! I know where your house is!

EdwardCullen: Um…that's not weird at all

Milkshakebabe has signed off and is unable to receive your IMs

Edward got off of the computer and dashed into the woods at once. When he got there all he found was Emmett. "Emmett could you go away I am meeting a girl out here." Edward said.

"No! I can't go away because I am MILKSHAKEBABE!" He yelled as he cackled his evil laugh. "Little brother when will you learn not to get on dating websites, they only lead to online predators like me!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, must your torture me so?" Edward asked, sighing.

"Yes brother, it is my only entertainment while the girls are out of town and I am grounded from my video games!" He said.

Edward, feeling hopeless, turned towards the edge of the woods and started to sing because this is, after all, a musical. Edwards's voice, on this occasion, sounded like Hampton the hamster.

"I am so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I have no body on my ownnn, I am so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I have no body on my ownnn!" He sang sadly.

Emmett followed him back to the house, bored with his evil regimes. "There are few who deny, at what I do I am the best, for my talents are renowned far and wide, with the slightest little effort of my ghost like charm I can annoy the very boldest off their feet. Yet year after year there's a feeling in my bones that I EMMETT, the annoying king, has grown tired of the same old thing!" Emmett sang, changing a few of the words of "Jack's Lament" from "Nightmare before Christmas" to fit his current situation.

Edward went back inside to get ready for yet another dreary day at school. It was nearly that time again and he dreaded it with passion. School was redundant, boring and painful. After getting ready quickly, he got into his car. The song that played in the background fit his mood perfectly.

"I thought love was only true in fairy tales, then for someone else and not for me! Love was out to get me, that's the way it seems, disappointment haunted all my dreams!" By the end of that line he was at school. Just as he shut his car off a new song began to play in the air. Sometimes Edward and the others wondered where these songs came from, but life was a musical so why bother trying to understand right?

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, their life is better than yours damn right its better than yours I can teach you, but I'll have to charge! If you want it, the thing that makes me, but the guys go crazy for it! They lose their minds! A ways behind! Watch if you're smart…" Milkshake played as Edward stared at this stunning young girl who stepped out of a hefty rusted truck.