Barbanie's Wild Night

"Okay, you be Stephanie, and I'll be Ranger."

"Um, I am Stephanie."

"Jeezus Christ, would you just use your imagination?"

I rolled my eyes and picked up the Barbie. "Hi, I'm Stephanie," I said in a falsetto voice.

Jamie smirked and picked up Ken and shook him at Barbie. "Hey Babe," she said in a fake deep voice, "Wanna bang?"

"Ranger wouldn't say that!"

"Stephanie, this is Barbanie and Kenger, and Kenger would DEFINITELY say that."

I sighed and picked up Barbanie. "Maybe if you put it nicely," Barbanie said to Kenger.

"Heh heh heh," Kenger snickered, "I know where to put it nicely! Bow chicka bow wow!"

"That doesn't turn me on," Barbanie said. Her arms were permanently straight so I couldn't cross them over her gigantic chest, so I just threw them into the air, exasperated style.

"I know what can turn you on," Kenger said, and lunged at Barbanie.

"HEY! STOP!" Barbanie yelled.

There was an intense plastic struggle between the two dolls. "OH baby oh baby play it rough!" Kenger yelled.

"Get off of me!" Barbanie yelled back.

"Stephanie!" Jamie glared at me. "This is Ranger we're talking about. You'd be totally into it by now! Stick to the truth!"

I rolled my eyes again and adjusted Barbanie's attitude. "Omigosh Kenger you're sooo sexy. Harder! Harder!"

"That's better," Jamie said happily and switched into her deep voice. "Yeah Babe I knew you'd like it rough!"

Kenger and Barbanie went at it for awhile, and then Jamie made a doorbell sound.

"Who's at the door?" I asked her.

"Kester. He wants to join the fun." Jamie picked up another Ken doll and threw him into the naked doll mix.

"Does Barbanie like Kester?"

Jamie gave me a 'are you really that stupid?' look.

"Fine," I said. "Oh Kester, won't you join our sex puddle?"

Jamie made her voice sound like a surfer-dude. "Yeah man, that would be the total SHIT!" Kester stripped off his clothes and got in line behind Barbanie.

"Um, sorry, I don't do butt-stuff," said Barbanie.

"No biggy, man," Kester said, "Kenger and I can just take turns."

Barbanie had just let out an orgasm shriek as Kenger and Lester switched places when a shadow fell over Jamie's shoulders. I looked up mid-shriek to see the real, life-sized, flesh and bones Ranger and Lester looking amused.

"Ulk," I said.

"Ulk?" Jamie said indignantly, "A woman in the midst of a magical threesome with Kenger and Kester does not say 'ULK!'"

I pointed over Jamie's shoulder. She tipped her head back. "Oopsie," she said.

"Stephanie, I had no idea you were into that," Lester said, grinning at me.

"Mine," Ranger said, glaring at Lester.

"Um, more like Kenger's," Jamie said, shaking the Ken-Ranger doll at the real Ranger.

Ranger grabbed the doll, pulled its head off, and handed both pieces to Jamie.

"Or yours. That works too."

Ranger sent me a smile that said something more than doll sex was in my future.

THE END