*Cough* alright this is video log one; my name is Sterling Archer.

I have no fucking clue where the hell I am or what goddamn episode of Disney's latest after school special I just woke up to. I do have a camcorder though so…

One of my therapists used to say that it helps to get your feelings out in someway or another so that you don't do something passive something something I don't remember. Anyway I remember getting someone called Woodhouse to fire him, or maybe I just set a wooden house on fire I don't know. But the guy who was just in here said that it helps to record thoughts so- aw who am I kidding this is the dumbest thing I've ever… well I got nothing better to do so here we are. Actually as I already said I don't know where we are, well where I am. All I know is that my name is Archer and I am in a small room. Oh and on the door is written: X nopea? Goddam glass. Oh Weapon X. Huh.

God I'm a complete mess I've even got voices in my head telling me about some sort of highway to a zone! Whats up with that?

~END VIDEO LOG ONE~

Video log two: they've moved me to a new area of the facility. I gotta say if I wasn't losing my shit before I certainly am now. They keep drugging me and hooking me up to all these machines. Gotta say it's some real 'Fire in the Sky' stuff. Weird how I can't remember anything but totally insignificant bullshit right? That was rhetorical...Because you're an inanimate object. Anyway this place is creepy as all hell, like there is this real ugly guy in the cell next to mine who keeps copying my movements. I heard the guy who keeps drugging me talking in a Swiss accent so I can safely assume that I am in either Switzerland, Germany, France Canada, Italy or any other amount of countries I can't think of. Fuck. Well I guess at least I can rule out intelligence as my occupation. Oh hey it's the Doc. And friends, oh they brought the friendly needles too.

~END VIDEO LOG TWO~

Video Log three: Nothing much has changed with regards to my current situation. Although the guy in the cell next to me started talking, to me or himself either way he's more entertaining than the voices in my head. Yeah he's got some real wack theories on the whole sitch, thinks we're in a secret superhuman research facility in Canada. Not sure whether I believe him or not I mean these guys don't seem polite enough to be Canadian. Then again when your whole world is turning upside down who's to say that there couldn't be rude Canadians? Doctor Killebrew, oh I found out that's his name, right?! I mean what James Bond movie did he get his name from? Anyway KB said that I show real "potential" and that there would be "elimination trials" whatever that means. It's weird. Hopefully "elimination" means I get to leave this weirdo place, and trials means I get to hone my sweet dirt bike skills. Ya Know I got a good feeling about tomorrow.

~END VIDEO LOG THREE~

~Video log four~So as it turns out me and KB weren't really on the same page with regards to the whole trials thing. They took me to a large concrete pit area, like a dank drained pool. They threw me in with all manner of freaks like the guy next to my cell. There were people with spikes coming out of them, people with blades for hands, blue people red people you name it. They forced us to fight each other until only one was left, and I'm still here so I guess that's good? It was strange I mean obviously I don't have any memory of learning how to fight but it was as if my muscle reflex had a memory of it's own. I killed them all. In the last fight I was up against a guy who, I shit you not, had freakin lazer eyes! He fired them right at my head and I remember blacking out. Then I woke up on the cold concrete floor and he was facing towards Doctor Killebrew so I snapped his neck. They moved me again and this time I have a long mirror across one wall. I figured out why my old cell neighbor wasn't at "trials" today. I am not nearly as handsome as I assumed I was.

~END VIDEO LOG FOUR~