Jaime is in love with Impulse. Bart just wishes it was him, not the brand of women's deodorant.
If you have ever walked into a girl's change room at a high school, you'll notice the mixed scents of dozens and dozens of perfumes. Usually, it's not so bad. But then there are days where one kid decides to fill the air with half a can of Strawberry Musk, creating a pink-tinged mist that one breath of is probably quite dangerous to your health.
Even on the other days, the effect is enough to make you nauseous.
The great thing about being a guy was that you hardly ever had to experience the pungent stink of many bad aerosols mixed together. No, you merely had to put up with getting hit in the face with the stench of BO and clothing muddy enough to be mistaken for dirt.
Which was why Bart was shocked to walk into the boys change room at the cave after their mission and find the air was filled with the pungent smell of rotten pineapple.
The speedster gagged and hit the floor, holding his breath for as long as possible. The smell only seemed to grow stronger, until a dark figure towered over him.
"Stop-" he began to wheeze, before a familiar voice interrupted him.
"¿Estás bien? ¿Qué tiene de malo? ¿Quién te hizo esto?"
"Jamie..." Bart coughed. He was going to pass out. The rotten pineapple was reaching his brain and turning it into a giant fruit. "English..."
Someone must have broken into the cave and released the deadly gas. Someone who wanted them dead. Lucky for Jaime, the scarab would filter the smell, and he'd survive. But Bart was done for. He only had seconds left, he knew, though he was glad to spend them with Jaime.
"Jamie... Before I... Go... I have to tell you... I..."
Jaime murmured something in Spanish, followed by something incoherent in English.
"What?" Bart hissed, annoyed Jamie wasn't giving him the chance to confess his love. "...like it?"
"Like what?" Why wasn't he dead? The gas had to be deadly, so why wasn't he dying?
"Like the smell. It's 'zesty pineapple' and 'exotic wood'."
Bart looked up and stared at Jaime. "That smells horrible."
Jaime drew back, a hurt expression on his face. "I think it smells delicioso." As if to prove his point, there was a small hiss as the thin can in his hand shot out more of the stench.
Bart dragged himself to his feet, though a wave of nausea hit him as more of the aerosol was released. He hated when Jamie was sad. Especially when he had caused it. "Hey, hey, yeah it does. Metallo must have hit me pretty hard in the head and I fell over because ow it hurts haha!" Bart smacked the side of his head enough to put an actual pain there. Thankfully, Jamie couldn't quite decipher his speech, but recognised it as back tracking.
"Do you need a nurse, ese?"
"No, haha, just more of that zesty pineapple stuff because man it's good!"
Jaime gave a small smirk. "I know. They say it's for women, but I reckon' it's pretty manly with the forest scents in it and all. I only have three in the range, but I'm going to buy the other ones."
"Other ones?" Bart echoed, paling.
Secretly, he adored how Jamie smelt. He often found himself breathing in deeply when ever the hero was near, just because his natural smell was so... Intoxicating. Nearly indescribable, Jamie on his own smelt exotic, wild and just a little bit Spanish. It drove Bart wild. Of course, Jamie didn't know that. Of course the guy was 900% straight and even if he wasn't, with a body that good, he deserved better than a freckled teen.
Lost in his own thoughts about sniffing the other boy, he jumped when a sky blue can with a gold lid was thrust in front of his face.
He took the container and analysed it in a moment. The front had a large love heart, the back with some stupid description. But it was the title that most surprised him.
"Impulse," he read.
"Impulse: Tease," Jaime corrected.
Bart could feel his heart hammering against his chest. What was he implying? That he was teasing Jamie? That Jamie was trying to tease him?
"Andwhatisthatsupposedtomeand oesitmea-" Bart babbled, mentally running through the confession of his love for Jamie that he had been practising for the last six nights in a row.
"Ha, sì, it is your name," Jaime laughed, "I didn't realise. I just smelt it and decided it was too good not to buy. I saw the title only when I got out of the tienda."
Bart assumed that his heart looked like the broken tiled one on the front of the can.
He took a deep breath, though immediately regretted it. Despite knowing that his crush would never become anything more, having Jamie imply as much made him feel horrible, like he had been shot in the chest a billion times with the man's sonic canon. He glanced over the packaging one last time before turning.
Impulse Tease is a perfumed body spray that will ensure you smell irresistible all day long. It contains notes of zesty pineapple combined with an exotic wood scent, and is best enjoyed when spritzed all over the body.
Bart turned and folded his arms across his chest.
"Something wrong, ese?" Jamie called, but Bart had already disappeared. He shrugged to himself and spritzed his underarms with more of the deodorant.
Impulse Tease is an extremely attracted young male named Jamie Reyes that will ensure your heart being broken on a daily basis. It contains notes of an insane robot combined with an adorable personality, and is best enjoyed without a shirt.
Bart sighed and slumped down on his bed.
And when he doesn't smell like rotting fruit.
Great. Another multi-chapter fic. Let's hope I can actually finish this one. I'm not even going to mention cartoon network. I'm just going to remain blissfully unaware, and remind you to help out with keeping YJ!
oh. Yeah. And bluepulse. Sorry.
Review!