AN: I've been dealing with some stuff and I feel like I need writing practice, so here's some lighthearted crack inspired by That 70's show.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, direct dialogue belongs to that 70's show
She's decided to tell the Salvatores. She's done being yanked at, like they're dogs fighting over a toy. She's told herself that feelings are just chemicals in her brain, and brains are often wrong. So she ignores her feelings because really, when have her feelings for either of them helped her? Never, really.
She asks Rebekah to come with her, in case they react badly, the Original is more powerful than both of them.
She walks to their door, she's told them that she needs to tell them something. They should both be home.
Stefan answers the door and Damon appears as soon as the door is opened fully.
"We need to talk. All three of us." She says simply and they nod. They've already talked this over, whoever she picks is lucky and the other brother will move on. Damon shuts the door.
"I've decided. I want you to know that this was easy. I had to think and decide who I love most. The answer was so obvious I feel like an idiot for missing it." She tells them, and they both hold their breath.
"The person I love the most is me! I love me the most! I choose myself over both of you, because the only person in this room that has always had my back and love me, is me." She explains, smile on her face. She's victorious. She's happy. The Salvatores have dropped jaws.
"So-" Damon begins and she looks at him.
"You're picking yourself?" He asks, in disbelief. Elena snorts.
"Well I'm certainly not picking either of you. I'm my best option." She retorts and Stefan looks at her cautiously.
"We always thought you'd pick one of us." The younger vampire says, and Damon mutters.
"Or both of us."
Elena rolls her eyes.
"You two are brothers. I'm not Katherine. I'm not capable of ripping you apart like you two want. If you want to play more mind games with someone, I'm sure she'd be up for it. If there's nothing else you want to say, I'm going to leave." She says, and there's a note of finality in her voice. She's tired of the games they trapped her in, she had hated her brain for playing her too. She walks to the front door, a little surprised neither of them have tried to stop her. Maybe neither of them think it's real yet.
"So what are you going to do now?" Stefan asks as her hand touches the door.
"Look, if I could run across a field of flowers and into my own arms, I would. But for now, I'll settle for a girl's week at Disney World." She tells them, and she opens the door.
"You could go track down Katherine and make that dream come true." Damon mutters, just loudly enough for her to hear.
"Sorry Damon, that sounds like your dream. Not mine. Thanks for saving my life. I changed my phone number, have a great great life, both of you." She says and walks to the car where Rebekah is sitting in the driver's seat.
The Salvatores have their mouths open again, and she tells Rebekah to step on it. She doesn't look back.