A/N: Written for the CLAMP Flash Bingo, #019 – Lelouch Lamperouge

Those Regrets are for the Deserving

He wondered why he didn't regret it. Maybe he'd sunk so deeply into the blood he'd spilt that he was no longer capable of regret. He was glad, in that case. That was good. He didn't want to regret – because to regret meant to act on that regret and he couldn't allow that now, when he was so close: so close to his ultimate goal.

Suzaku was crying for him, the idiot. But no-one else could see. No-one else could see the face beneath Zero's mask. He wondered if anyone else would cry for him. If anyone else would put it all together. Not that he wanted them to.

Or, that was the cold, rational, part of him who didn't want to. The same part of him that didn't want to regret. But the part that didn't regret could still hope. Hope wasn't denied to the devil, nor to him. He wanted to die hated, and yet he didn't – and that latter one would cause discourse to spread again. Not that it mattered, in the end. His aim had been a foolish one from the start and his parents had shown that all too well. Disunity would spread no matter what he did, what he wished. The unity he'd created was a weak and fragile thing –

But it was there. For now. And he could close his eyes and die seeing that as his last sight. Because he'd succeeded in that small thing at least: that brief moment unity, when the world hated him, hated him enough to forget Euphie and the blood he'd caused her to spill. That was what he wanted, after all. And love was what he'd sacrificed –

But suddenly Nunnally was embracing him. He opened his eyes: saw her tears. It wasn't supposed to be like that. She was supposed to hate him too. Like the rest of the world. And everyone could see her: see her tears. It wasn't like Suzaku, who had the mask to protect him. She was the exhibit. She was always the exhibit. And now she was tearing down the goal he'd given his life for.

But that was all well and dramatic and the truth was he'd rather have her crying for him than the hatred of the world, even if he didn't deserve those tears, even if it wasn't fair he was getting them instead of all the people who did.

And there was the answer. He didn't regret it because he deserved it, but that didn't stop him from wanting it anyway.

Not that he really got a choice in the matter.