A/N: I've had this idea in my notebook for a couple weeks now and I've decided to make something out of it. This is my first try at writing an angsty fic so I hope I've captured that feeling in this one-shot. Anyway, enjoy and please R&R.
No Signs Of Pain
His eyes burned into her back. She took a deep breath; steadying herself in preparation of losing her heart. She slowly turned to face him, her face beautifully solid.
He looked worn down. Despite his impeccable tailored suits and cleanly swept hair, he was not the same person. The coldness and anger in his eyes was gone and he looked nothing more than a sad, lost little boy. She silently hoped he was done with his destructive ways but she knew better. She knew that in time he would be back to his selfish, womanizing habits. She wanted to be the one that saved him. She wanted to be the one he would change for. A foolish wish on her part, she thought bitterly. He was Chuck Bass and she was Blair Waldorf, they were destined for heartbreak
He took a step closer, "I'm sorry." he whispered, his eyes searched hers. He hoped to catch a flicker of life in them but he saw nothing. The glitter in her eyes was gone and he instantly regretted taking them for granted before.
Her eyes fell away from his gaze, "That's not good enough." Her chest painfully tightens where her heart use to be.
"I don't know what else to say." He admitted in defeat.
She screamed inside. Why was he giving up so fast? Why was he not fighting for her? For them? "Then I guess you should just leave." Her voice was cold and steady.
"I can't do that." His brown eyes glazed with both sadness and hope. "You don't want me to do that." He finally closed the gap between them, his arms wrapped around her waist
She stayed silent in his arms. You're going to lose him. She closed her eyes knowing if she opened them the tears would begin to fall.
He kissed her than. Softly at first but urgency soon took over. He kissed her as if he was running out of time. As if they were running out of time.
"No, please." She pushed him away and instantly yearned for his touch once more. "I can't do this anymore."
"Blair.." His voice broke as he reached out for her.
She backed away from his extended hand. "No." Her voice was weak and laced with tears.
You're losing her. "I'm sorry, Blair" He repeated hopelessly.
"Don't you see how much you're hurting me?" She cursed the tears that were desperately trying to break free. He never loved you. "It hurts me seeing you destroy yourself." Never have. "It hurts me knowing you'll never be able to say or feel those words I've said to you." Never will.
He was lost for words. He could do nothing more than lower his head in submission. He didn't understand why he couldn't say those words. He felt them. He knew them to be true.
She let the tears fall down her face, not caring if he saw them anymore. "Can you please just try and let me forget you?"
"Is that what you really want?" His own voice broke for the second time.
"You and I were a mistake." She answered heartlessly. No.
"Answer my questions!" He growled, the tears burned painfully under his eyes, "Is that what you really want?"
She turned her head away from him and began to walk to her door. A scent of vanilla trailed her hurried steps.
He grabbed her hand as she reached for the door knob. "Answer me!" He shook her thin wrist, desperation pierced through his eyes. He pulled her in but she kept her face turned away from his own. He finally released his grip on her and took his hands to her face. He knew the tears on her faced mirrored his as well."Is this what you really want?"
Her body felt numb as her answer escaped her lips. "Yes."
His hands fell to his sides. "Why are you lying? I thought we were done playing games?"
"It was a game to you, Chuck," she spat back, "not to me."
Their bodies began to drift apart, both accepting what they were about to lose. With faces down, they allowed their memories to scrape along their mind. There would be no more secret looks and chaste smiles. Their hands would no longer intertwine with each others. They would not wake up seeing each others smiles in the more. They were destine for this.
"Regardless, You win, Waldorf." It pained him to see her wince at his tone but continued on, "You've ended us. Congratulations."
"No, Chuck, it was you who ruined us!" she yelled out desperately between the tears, "I loved you."
He laughed bitterly. "You never loved me, Blair. Infatuated, yes. But, love? Never."
Her tears came to a standstill. A person without a heart should not feel this kind of pain. "Get out." She knew she loved him. She said those words and meant it. She still felt them. Why didn't he?
Regret of the words spoken lingered in the silent air around them and it took him a second to register her demand.
"Get out." She repeated, painfully.
Chuck nodded and walked past her. He took one last look at her at the other side of the door. He would miss running his hands along her snow white skin. He would miss kissing her ruby red lips. He would miss the way she laughed and wrinkled her nose at him. He would miss her entirety.
"I never said I didn't love you." His voice flowed like velvet.
The door clicked shut.
"You never said you did either." Blair whispered into her empty room.