A/N: So, guess who finally got around to writing some USUK (with Hungary as a third wheel sorry not sorry don't think she'd be sorry either though)? Me! It's also my first non-crossover! I've had a blast writing this but have been really debating whether to post it or not. I know it isn't too polished so tell me if there is anything I need to fix, please and thank you. I'm actually a few chapters into this, but I'd like to maybe update weekly or bi-weekly depending on the demand.

I'm actually really excited about writing the Hungary and England crime solving duo kind of thing too, so hopefully my passion for this continues.

Also, to any fans of the PoTO: Austrian Special Addition, I'm so sorry I keep writing other things and getting off the course of that, so I think I'm going to start updating weekly for that too. It is summer, so I'm a lot freer (freer? Free-er?) than I was before summer, then again, I am working on a novel for Camp Nanowrimo, but I should have time for this and PoTO: ASA!

Again, this story has been more for the fun of it than the quality (that's most of my stories anyways but I seriously haven't edited this like, at all :P), and I'm ready and open for constructive criticism for it! I hope for it!

Thanks for reading! Enjoy, yadayadayada.

-Caroline

P.S. I don't own Hetalia or McDonalds, quite frankly, I don't know if I was even allowed to use Mickey-Ds name in this D:!

"How the hell did we find ourselves here?" Arthur spat, sending his partner a bitter glare.

"Hm?" The girl standing next to him replied, sweeping her brown hair over her shoulder in a tasteful swoop. "We do need to eat." She said, glancing at a man close by who was very obviously ogling her. She stepped away casually, to the other side of Arthur.

"At this shitty excuse for a restaurant?" He huffed in resentment. "I can barely breathe over the smell of grease and whatever they have back there to replace meat."

"Well, aren't you posh," The girl quipped, eyeing him disapprovingly. "It's fast food. Some people can't afford better."

"Anyone should try to afford better." Arthur said, finalizing the topic.

The girl was quiet for a moment. "You don't have to order anything, we're here for...research."

"Yes, but undercover research. It may be odd to not order."

"Not much odder than a guy in a sweater vest at a McDonalds." The girl sing-songed, pulling out a phone and typing a text to someone. Arthur peered over her shoulder, smirking.

"Really getting into this undercover stuff, aren't you? Texting so casually." He chuckled, and she sent him a glare.

"It's just Roderich, he needs me to pick up some eggs at the store." She said dismissively, as though she wanted the subject to stray away from this 'undercover stuff'.

"Eggs." Arthur smiled, tapping his foot.

"Hey, I- unlike you, do have a life outside of work."

"Oh Detective-" Arthur was sent a sharp green stare, and he cleared his throat. "-Liza, your normal life does bore me so."

"Murder investigations aren't something I'd call normal." She muttered, masking it with a giggle when she noticed a couple teenage onlookers. She went into chatting about something girly and unsuspicious.

As Arthur drowned out his partner's voice, he looked around, frowning when his eyes fell on the McDonald's breakfast menu. Since this was the States, he doubted they had tea. Coffee would have to suffice, he guessed. Sighing, he looked through the mass of people and towards the back, to the employees.

In the back there would be manager Alfred Jones. From what the Lieutenant had said to him and his partner, Detective Héderváry, it was obvious Alfred would have key information on the case they'd been working on, why they had to be undercover was unknown to Arthur, but he wasn't one to disobey. Sometimes people needed coaxing from the seemingly normal to get the information out of them.

When Arthur was finally in the front of the line, he grabbed his partner's elbow and stepped forward. Detective Héderváry didn't miss a beat, she smiled at the overweight and oily man behind the register, quickly ordering a sausage biscuit with a smoothie, and an Iced Coffee for Arthur without even asking. He didn't protest, seeing as it was what he would've ordered for himself anyways.

Under his partner's instructions he found a table, not having to wait there long before she slammed a tray down in front of him.

"Awful service." She complained, not caring when people eyed her with disdain. It seemed she was going back on what she had said earlier.

Detective Héderváry just didn't seem to fit the bill well enough, even in disguise people seemed to know they didn't fit here.

"I wish they would let us go back to working on theft- or drugs?" Arthur mumbled. "I'd prefer it to this."

"Oh, come on," Detective Héderváry said, punching his shoulder half-heartedly. "You don't mean that. Theft was fun, sure, but drugs? That's a low blow. We'd have to be undercover even more."

Arthur groaned, resting his head on his hand and closing his eyes. He felt a straw prod his cheek and opened his eyes to see his partner holding out his coffee with a smirk. "You always get like this when you're tired, get some caffeine in you! You have a living to make."

Arthur complied reluctantly, while the other Detective eyed him impatiently, she had only taken one bite out of her sausage biscuit and was tapping her fingers to an unidentified beat, nails clicking on the table for two. Arthur was the first to stand up but Detective Héderváry followed suit.

"Y'ready?" She asked, smiling. It was like her to get excited about this. Arthur nodded and her grin widened, she threw everything into the trash bin aside from the biscuit and walked with a quick pace up to one of the employees behind the register.

"Can I help you?" The employee said with little enthusiasm. Detective Héderváry flashed one of her trademark Hollywood grins and eyed the employee, who seemed a bit stunned for a second.

"Yeah, may I speak to your manager?" She asked, her tone bright.

"Why?" The employee said. "Is there a problem with your food? We can just make another-"

"No," She interrupted, her smile not faltering. "I need to speak to your manager."

The employee seemed to have a wordless staring battle with Detective Héderváry, but their shoulders soon hunched forward and they blinked in exhausted annoyance, the employee waved a hand towards Arthur's partner in defeat. "Fine, if you'd just wait a second."

Arthur, to be honest, was expecting someone similar to the employee they had originally ordered their food from, someone weighty and old, so when Alfred Jones came into view he was slightly-

Stunned.

How stunned? Well, stunned enough for a sharp intake of breath that was loud enough to cause Detective Héderváry to laugh at him for a moment.

Alfred F. Jones was not only fucking fit and young, he was fucking fit and attractive.

Arthur knew the fast food chain's uniforms weren't form-fitting, but he found himself willing them to be. The manager was wearing a white shirt and red tie that had been put on rather half-assedly. A black baseball cap with the trademark M rested on messy blonde hair, and Alfred wore glasses that seemed to make his blue eyes stand out more. He fixed an earpiece as he approached both Arthur and Detective Héderváry, showing off a rather muscular build you'd be surprised to find in a McDonalds employee.

"Hey, did you guys have a problem?" Alfred asked, eyebrows raised in concern. His eyes seemed to scan Detective Héderváry for a moment (as most male eyes did), and then they fell on Arthur, Alfred seemed taken aback for a second, and the boy visibly stiffened, but the moment was gone before Arthur could analyze it and was replaced with a rather large grin from the McDonalds manager, brightening his features.

Arthur gulped, trying to mask the fear that he didn't stand the slightest chance. He tried to find words- anything. Any words he could grip onto.

Detective Héderváry was the one to step forward though, her amusement long forgotten. "Yes, unfortunately."

Alfred smiled in confusion, beckoning her for more information with an almost comedic wave of his hand.

"This bread seems to be awfully stale." She sniffed, acting uptight for the fun of acting uptight.

"Well, you didn't need me for that! Luke here can just fix you up a new one." Alfred said, holding onto his earpiece as he pulled off his hat, cocking his head at the employee from earlier, whose face had formed into an expression of anger and annoyance.

"Oh," Detective Héderváry remarked. "It's that easy."

"It's that easy," Alfred repeated, nodding at her. He ran a hand through his hair and grinned again. "Actually, I'd like to thank you, you guys got me out of a call I didn't really want back there." He laughed, setting his hat down next to the register. Was this guy for real?

Arthur's partner smiled warmly, and he could tell she was genuine with it. "Yeah, well, to keep you out of that call-" She winked, then lowered her voice and leaned forward. "Have you heard about the murder right around here?"

Wow, way to throw him the curve, Detective. Arthur thought dully.

Alfred's expression darkened for less than a second, and he soon brightened up again. "Yeah, actually, it happened in my apartment building." He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

We know. Arthur thought, restraining himself from an eye-roll. He stepped forward, towards Alfred. "Did you see any of it? Do you know what happened? Everything has been super vague and-"

"Oh my god! Are you British?" Alfred interrupted, nearly jumping with excitement, instead slamming his hands on the counter in front of him and leaning forward in interest.

Arthur blinked slowly, feeling his bit of respect for Alfred (that had mainly come from his physique) slowly fall away. "Y- yes."

"Aw, shit- sorry. I just completely interrupted you." He laughed, sounding embarrassed. Alfred seemed to think back to what Arthur had said earlier, and made a face that said 'I really don't want to talk about this'. Wonderful.

"Well, I didn't really see it-" Alfred directed his attention to Arthur and winced at his annoyed expression. "Okay, well, I honestly didn't see a thing." He scratched at his jaw, looking for nonexistent stubble.

Detective Héderváry's smile waned slightly. "Huh. Did you know the guy?"

Alfred appeared to be thinking. "Well- not very well. He threw these crazy parties from time to time," He chuckled a bit sadly. "He wasn't ever rude, he just came across as kind of self involved."

"Self involved? A dead guy?" Detective Héderváry laughed.

"Well, obviously not anymore." Alfred shrugged, straightening his tie. "He had this thing with the word awesome. I don't know, maybe it was some self-confidence boost?"

"He sounds like a wanker." Arthur remarked.

Alfred laughed and looked at him, his mouth twitching. "If you had said anything other than-" He paused and put on an extraordinarily bad British accent that made Arthur feel a bit insulted. "wanker-" He returned to his normal voice. "I might've thrown you out of here for not respecting a dead guy."

"You can't do that." Arthur snapped, slightly annoyed by the mocking in Alfred's voice.

Alfred held up a hand in peace, still obviously amused. "Yeah, it's a free country, I guess. I was just kidding." His smile fell, and he continued "He was sort of an asshole, though." Alfred laughed wryly, wringing his hands.

Detective Héderváry looked from one of the men to the other, a faint smile still clinging to her expression. She finally turned back to Alfred, her face betraying her rehearsed sympathy. "What was his name?"

Alfred seemed to measure if he should tell her or not and finally said with a sigh "Gilbert. His last name was something German, kind of hard to pronounce. Uh- Beidschmidt or something?"

Beilschmidt. Arthur wanted to say, even though it would surely blow Detective Héderváry and his' weak cover.

"Yeah- uh, I don't know too much about the guy. Sorry," There was a short pause before Alfred spoke again. "He was sort of in a- in some kind of- relationship with my brother, but I never got into that."

Detective Héderváry stiffened and glanced at Arthur, willing him to remember that bit of information. Arthur nodded at her ever so slightly, then studied Alfred, who looked miserable, as if he felt he'd said too much.

Luckily, saving them from farther awkwardness, the employee named Luke returned, carrying a paper sack that was nearly dripping with grease from the sausage biscuit.

"Oh! Hey!" Alfred said after thanking Luke and handing them the paper bag. "I can get you guys some coupons, if you'd like?" He didn't wait for an answer, turning with a thumbs-up and rushing off somewhere to grab whatever Arthur was planning to throw away right as he exited the fast food joint.

Detective Héderváry was eyeing Arthur with a scandalous smile that made him fear she was going to attack him like a lioness would her prey. She opened her mouth to say something, but didn't get the chance, as Alfred appeared rather suddenly, two slips of paper between his pointer and index finger. He stepped through a small gate and onto the opposite side of the register, handing a paper to Arthur and then his partner. He shook each of their hands.

"Sorry for any inconvenience, I hope this makes up for it? Next time you're here say you know Alfred too, alright?" He clapped his hands together, his eyes suddenly widening. "Oh, I don't know any of your names either!"

"I'm Elizaveta, you can call me Liza, though." Detective Héderváry smiled when she received a nod from Alfred. He turned to Arthur.

"Oh- Arthur." Arthur replied quickly, trying to hide the suspicion in his voice. Was Alfred daft enough to think they'd see each other again, as well as remember the other? Well, Arthur would think he'd remember Alfred, but their was no way Alfred would him.

"Arthur," Alfred repeated quietly, grinning widely. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Artie," He paused. "And Liza! Have a nice day, you two!" He waved and smiled one last time, before spinning back into the employee's part of the McDonalds.

Alfred had called Arthur Artie. The fucker had called him Artie. It took a lot of willpower to avoid vocalizing a correction.

Detective Héderváry grabbed Arthur, and as they exited she threw the sausage biscuit away, without even opening the paper bag.

"Well, that didn't get as much information as I would've liked," She said offhandedly. She checked her watch. "It's ten, we don't have to be back at the station until twelve. How does Italian brunch sound?" Arthur's partner cocked her head at the Italian restaurant across the street.

"Yes, some quality food does sound nice." Arthur retorted. He looked at his coupon, reading over the 'dollar off this' and 'dollar off that'. He sighed, moving towards the trash bin before something caught his eye. Written in sloppy handwriting and marker at the bottom of the page it read-

Call me or something! (631) XXX-XXXX

-Alfred

Arthur groaned aloud, in shock and slight annoyance.

Oh, fuck.

Footnote: So I originally did have a phone number for Alfred that spelled out freedom haha, but realized it probably wasn't the best decision to put it in, seeing is that is probably some poor New Yorker's phone number. By the way, I'm planning for the story to be in the suburbs of the city...So, they aren't the official city police department or anything, don't worry. I don't think they'd pay this much attention to a murder if that was the case TBH. Originally this story started on the idea that I wanted Iggy and Liza to interact, so why not make them Police Detectives working together?! The two's interactions are really fun to write.

Sadly, I don't know much about actual Law Inforcement stuffs, and I'm kind of just winging it because when I tried to do research on the rankings it was three in the morning and I was kind of just confused and feeling like: fuck this I'm just going to do it like the television shows. I'm leaning towards these two being more detective-y that just normal police-y, so if you can kind of understand and go along with me on that it'd be appreciated.

Seeya soon? If nobody says they want the bi-weekly update I'll probably make this weekly, so next Friday I hope!