Talking with my little girl the other night, she mentioned how the bird that her father has owned for ever and named Jake, surprised everyone by laying an egg. Well, immediately my brain started spinning and I thought it would make a wonderful story. Not sure about the wonderful part after all is said and done, but the story is done.
Dedicated to Alii for owning the strangest bird alive. And to Matt for choosing Garcia/Reid. This is my first time with this pair. Hope I haven't let you down.
Song prompt: "Dude Looks Like A Lady" by Aerosmith
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Dude Looks Like A Lady
Penelope Garcia gave herself snaps in many areas such as her ability to accessorize any outfit, her ability to love and fight to the death for her family, and her phenomenal grace under pressure…until now.
Not many things threw her, but right now, she was not sure what to do. There was a cat in her bedroom dry heaving and panting and for all she knew, pea soup and a spinning head could be next. Could cats be possessed? If so, could she get Agent Hard Ass to call Father Jimmy and perform an exorcism? At least in time to save her beloved comforter?
Dialing, she waited for an answer, but it went straight to voice mail. Slapping her forehead, she remembered that he was out hunting for the weekend. Maybe she could look Father Jimmy's parish up on the internet. Of course he had to have a direct line.
The sound of her phone ringing startled her back to the moment. Grabbing it, she clicked it and spoke quickly.
"Agent Rossi?" she asked.
"No, it's Reid," the voice greeted. "I'm sorry I missed your call. What's wrong?"
"Are you busy? Can you come over? Now?" Pen rushed on without taking a breath.
"What's wrong?" Reid sounded concern.
"The cat is dying."
"The cat is…WHAT?" Reid exclaimed.
"Dying. Don't ask questions, just get your ass over here now!" Pen hung up the phone. Hurrying back to the bedroom, she sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked the cat's head.
"It's okay, Sammy," she cooed. "When Reid gets here, he'll know what to do. I wish I knew what to do to make your suffering less, but I'm only a tech goddess; I'm not a doctor."
The cat briefly meowed and then continued to pant frantically.
"I don't want to have to put you down, but I don't know…" Pen bit her lip to hold back the tears. "I never owned an animal before….and now…I'm going to miss you, Sammy."
Stroking the tabby's soft head, Pen tried to soothe the beast as her tears fell.
******
Reid knocked on the door. Penelope Garcia never called anyone. But her call was so frantic and filled with sorrow, that he had no choice but to put off his Dr Who marathon and rush over to help.
The door was suddenly flung open and before he could say anything, Pen threw herself in his arms. Her body shook with sobs. Immediately, he tried to comfort her.
"Aw, Pen…it's going to be alright. I promise," Reid whispered.
"He's dying and there is nothing I can do for him. I tried, but I'm not a doctor."
Reid pulled back and looked the grief-stricken woman with her make up running and her hair out of place and wild.
"Did you call a vet?" he asked.
"No….should I have?" Pen asked stupidly. She had been so worried that the cat was dying, she wasn't thinking clearly.
"It's too late now, though I'm already here and willing to do what I can to help. I don't think I can, though."
"But you're a doctor," Pen argued.
"Not of veterinarian medicine," he corrected. "I may do more harm than good."
Pen shook her head. "No you won't."
From the bedroom a strangled meow sounded. Pen grabbed the young doctor's hand to drag him across the living room space to the bedroom.
"There!" She pointed to the feline turning around in a circle. "Do something, quick!"
"Pen…"
"It's dying, for crying out loud, Spencer!" Pen shouted as the cat dry heaved.
Reid paused. In all of their years together, she had never addressed him by his given name. The moment was more serious than he could have imagined.
"Okay," he agreed. "Give us some room and let me see what I can do." He took off his jacket and laid it on the nearby chair.
"Should I get a bag?" she asked tearfully.
Reid gave her flummoxed look. "Why would we need a bag?"
"To put it out of its misery," Pen wailed.
Reid touched Pen's shoulder gently. "I don't think we need to think so drastically…at least for the moment. Tell you what, why don't you go into the other room and pull yourself together and I will help Kitty."
"Sammy," Pen corrected.
Reid looked at the blonde tech and raised his eyebrow. "Sammy?"
"After Sammy The Bull."
"The mafia under boss?" Reid asked incredulously.
"Would you have rather I named the cat 'Rossi'?" Pen replied. "Could you imagine how well that would have gone over? I mean, how could I euthanize Rossi the cat?" she wailed.
"Pen, it's not that bad. Just go sit down and relax and I'll see what I can do to put Sammy out of his misery."
Pen leaned down and kissed the cat's head. "I love you, Sammy. Be good for Uncle Spencer." Looking at the cat, she jumped as Sammy's stomach moved. "Oh my god!" she cried out and jumped up. "He's going to spew!"
"What was the last thing you fed him?"
"Um….cream of wheat with maple syrup and butter."
"You fed a cat cream of wheat?"
"I had some left over and he seemed to like it."
"Then he got sick?" Reid wondered.
"Yeah. You don't think that made him sick? Did I give him food poisoning?" Pen's eyes filled again.
"I don't think so. Did you get sick?"
Pen shook her head. "No. But what if….? I heard that we aren't supposed to give people food to animals…"
Reid grabbed her shoulders. "Penelope, go to the other room. Now."
Pen turned toward the doorway, but stopped to give one more look at the cat. "Reid, do me a favour?"
"Anything."
"Make sure he doesn't suffer."
Reid nodded. "I'll do my best."
Pen bit her lip and nodded. That was the best she could hope for. She left the room and the cat.
Pulling on a pair of blue gloves, Reid looked at the cat. "It's just you and me now, Sammy. I hope that whatever is killing you puts you out of your misery before I have to. Because I really don't want to have to do what I think I might have to."
Raising his head from the comforter, Sammy blinked at Reid and gave a short meow.
"Why couldn't Morgan have answered his phone?" Reid whispered to himself and bent down to tend to the feline.