Disclaimer: Simple, TPTB didn't so I am.
Rating: MA+ because of a slight adult theme toward the end. You have been warned.
Pairing: P/C
A/n: I was ordered by my lovely beta, Jamie, to tackle this story before the rest of the rampant plot bunnies I find myself overrun by and who am I to argue with her.
Summary: While on shore leave, Beverly decides to put to test a theory that has plagued her for many years. Will Jean-Luc go along with her or will he put a stop to things before they get out of hand?
Title: Testing A Theory.
Beverly Crusher sat at the bar on Celtis 4, nursing a half empty glass of whiskey between her nimble fingers. The door to the bar swung open and for the fifth time in as many minutes, Beverly lifted her head expectantly, only to be disappointed again. Her crystal blue eyes returned to the old 20th century clock and sighed to herself as another minute ticked by. She had been waiting for Jean-Luc Picard to join her, for the last thirty minutes and her patience was beginning to wear thin. She knew that he had had some lose ends to tie up with Governor Mattax, but he has assured that he would be on time.
While sat waiting for Jean-Luc to arrive, Beverly had the chance to observe her surroundings closer and she was pleasantly surprised by what she saw. She had been slightly apprehensive when she had first found the bar, because from the outside, it had looked like a downtrodden shack about to collapse but once inside, it was very agreeable. The lighting was low and rather intimate, with many couples soaking up the atmosphere. The bar was well kept and clean and stocked a range of alcoholic beverages that would turn Guinan green with envy. There was something about the bar that reminded her of the place where Walker had introduced Jack Crusher to her. She smiled at the memory as she brought her glass of whiskey to her lips, their first meeting hadn't been the greatest of successes but he had persevered. Jack Crusher had been a good man, a good husband and father when he had been with them. She had loved him dearly, but he had been the safe option.
As she placed the glass back down on the bar, her thoughts turned to the complex friendship she shared with her best friend, Jean-Luc Picard and the thoughts she had had over the years. Jack's death had hit them both hard and twenty years on, it was still an issue between them though they had tried to make it not so. The memory of him haunted them for different reasons and prevented them from taking the step they both wanted to. She carried the guilt of not loving Jack as much as he had loved her as well as the guilt that the last words she had spoken to him had been of anger. Jean-Luc carried the guilt of sending his best friend to his death and the guilt of loving someone whom he shouldn't have. Beverly was fed up with the ghosts from her past making her decisions, telling her how she should live her life. She wanted to lay the ghosts to rest but to do that; she would also have to lay Jean-Luc's ghosts to rest as well.
Beverly had lost count of the times she had wondered what her life would have been like, if she had met Jean-Luc Picard before meeting Jack Crusher. The ghost of her former husband certainly wouldn't be standing between them anymore; his memory wouldn't be holding them back. She would never regret meeting or marrying Jack Crusher because she had loved him and they had been happy in their few short years together. It has been difficult when Wesley came into the equation because Jack hadn't been planet side and part of her had resented him for that but they had worked through it. Jack had been her family and he had been cruelly taken away from her too soon. Soon after his funeral, the guilt of wanting him to be something more than he had been, set in and she hated herself for the argument they'd had hours before he died. She wouldn't have traded her time with him for anything, and as that thought crossed her mind, a sense of closure warmed through her body.
She ordered another glass of whiskey, and as she waited for it to arrive, an idea hit her like a sudden gust of wind. The plan formulated in her mind and she believed she had found a way to exorcise both hers and Jean-Luc's ghosts for good. She just hoped that Jean-Luc would go along with the plan despite not really knowing what it was. The sound of the door swinging open again caught her attention and she smiled brightly as the man she had been waiting for the last forty-five minutes, finally walked in. Beverly smiled inwardly as she watched from the corner of her as approached her gingerly. She could tell that he was nervous by the way he was fiddling with the hem of his pull over sweater. Beverly turned her attention to her glass of whiskey and ignored him as he stifled a cough to get her attention.
"Beverly," he began as he sat down on the seat beside her. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Governor Mattox doesn't seem able to stop talking once he starts."
Beverly continued to stare at her glass, ignoring his apologies and not even gracing him with a smile of acknowledgement. She could feel his hazel eyes boring into the side of her head and it took all her will power not to turn and look at him. If she gave in now, it would ruin the plan she had formulated while she had been waiting for him.
"Giving me the silent treatment is a little unfair," he continued as he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It wasn't my fault, I had to be diplomatic."
Beverly turned slowly and looked at him for the first time since she had seen him entering the bar. "Do I know you?"
She watched closely as Jean-Luc's hazel eyes narrowed as he regarded her as if she had grown an extra head. "Beverly, what is the meaning of this?"
"I think you have the wrong person," she replied, stifling the smile that was threatening to appear on her lips.
"I'm really not in to mood for games tonight," he replied with a heavy sigh.
"I'm Beverly Howard," Beverly answered as she extended a hand to him.
The usage of her former surname had completely thrown the man beside her and she wasn't surprised when he didn't take her hand. The look in his eyes told her that he was not amused by the turn of events and was very close to getting up and leaving. She had always been one of the few people who were able to read the infamous captain but since their time on Kesprytt, she had an even better understanding of how he worked. She knew she needed to work quickly if she was to prevent him from walking out on her.
"Beverly, please," Jean-Luc pleaded. "It's been a long day."
"You have me at an advantage, sir," she cut in. "You know my name but I don't know yours."
"You know very well what my name is," he replied curtly. "I'm going to go back to my rooms if you persist this childish game."
Beverly reached over and took his hand in hers and looked him right in the eye, letting him see the emotions that were shining through in her eyes. She willed him to put his trust in her, to follow her lead and let things progress. Beverly knew it was a lot of ask of him, but she knew that he would be happy with the outcome as long as he let her lead.
"Trust me, please," she begged softly.
She felt his hand give hers a gentle squeeze before he replaced it back on her lap. He cleared his throat and called over the bar tender.
"I'll have what this lady is having," he said, indicating to the glass that Beverly had in front of her. "Can I get you another?"
"No, thank you," she replied, slightly surprised by his reaction. "I only just got this one."
"Just the one then," asked Jean-Luc. "Do you serve food?"
"Not till twenty hundred hours," replied the monotone voice of the male bartender before walking away to serve another customer.
"Friendly chap," observed Jean-Luc, shooting her a warm smile. "I'm Jean-Luc Picard."
"Oh, a French man?" she asked, delight evident in her voice.
"Oui, Miss Howard," he answered as he picked up his glass.
"Please call me Beverly," she said.
Beverly was surprised at the apparent ease that had seemed to come over Jean-Luc; she hadn't expected him to go along with her plan without some more prodding. He seemed to be settling down into character easily and was letting her lead the way. She knew he didn't know the purpose to this game but she was touched by his trust in her. Her plan was falling into place without her even trying and she was certainly glad of that because she didn't want it to come across as calculated. She would come clean as soon as the ghosts had been laid to rest, she would explain her reasoning and she hoped he would see it from her point of view.
"So, Jean-Luc Picard, what do you do?" she asked, leaning forward slightly.
Jean-Luc took a moment to think before answering her. "I'm a diplomat."
"Men that are good with words can sometimes be misleading," she replied, as she fiddled with the glass in her hand.
"Some, maybe, but I'm not one of those men," he said as he took the glass from her hands and placed it down on the counter. His hands returned to hers and he examined them closely, touching them lightly and turning them over to look at her palms. "Healers hands."
"How did you know?" she gasped in mock surprise, all the time trying not to let out a chuckle that would spoil the mood. His hands felt so soft in hers; the warmth of his touch was flowing through her body and made her mind wander. If his hands created feelings like this when he was simply holding her hands, she wondered what they would feel like on the rest of her body.
"Wishful thinking," he answered as he leaned closer, his lips nearly touching her ear lobe, "and besides, your medical badge gives it away."
Beverly felt her breath hitch in her throat as he began to move away from her, he winked at her before picking up his glass and taking a sip of his whiskey. She seemed to be losing control of the game she had planned and Jean-Luc seemed to have one of his own. He had caught her at her own game, but she was sure that their reasons for the games weren't the same.
"I suppose that would give it away," she finally answered, her fingers brushing against the silver badge Governor Mattox had given her. She had completely forgotten about the badge when she had planned her idea and she hoped Jean-Luc would forget about the Crusher part of her name that was plastered across it.
"Would you like to join me for a spot to eat?" he asked as the bar tender had caught his eye and then pointed over at the clock Beverly had been admiring earlier.
"Surely a man like you isn't short of female company," she answered as she looked at him coyly. She wasn't sure how he would take that comment but he took it in his stride, perfectly happy with the way he conducting himself.
"I can be rather picky when it comes to dining with someone," he answered as he slipped off the bar stool and offered her his arm. "And you will do perfectly."
"Oh, I'm glad you find me agreeable," she answered as she took the proffered arm
and slipped gracefully off her stool.
"Very agreeable," he assured her as he led her through the crowded bar and over to a vacant table tucked away in a quiet corner.
Beverly allowed herself to be led by Jean-Luc, she found that she didn't mind that he had somehow managed to change to rules to what she had had planned. He guided her to her chair before taking his seat across from her. As he handed her the menu, he shot her a smile that seemed to light up the whole of his face.
"The Celtan stew comes highly recommended," he told her as he looked over the menu.
"Well, if that's the case, it would be rude not to try it," replied Beverly as she folded her menu and placed it down on the table.
Jean-Luc ordered two stews along with some crusty bread before turning his attention back to her. Beverly felt his eyes wander over her and she wondered what he was thinking. His face had suddenly become rather serious and she was half expecting him to call time of their little game.
"Tell about yourself," he urged, "I want to know everything."
Beverly's mouth had suddenly dried up and her eyes fell upon the jug of water that was on the table. She reached over and picked up the jug, and she poured them both a glass before picking up her own and taking a sip. The cold liquid slid down her throat, giving her some relief as she tried to regain control of herself, her senses, and her mind. She began by telling him about her childhood, leaving out the parts that were distressing to her, and he listened intently even though he had heard most of it before. Beverly listened as he matched her own childhood stories by telling her some of his own, she laughed along with him as he told her about the fights he would get into with his brother. She wanted to reach over and comfort him because despite the merriment in his eyes, there was also a hint of sadness in them and she knew the reason why. Throwing caution to the wind, she reached over and took his hand, letting him know that despite the game they were currently taking part in, she was there for him.
The Celtan stew had arrived but it went cold as they continued to talk about their careers, friends, and hobbies. If any of their friends from the Enterprise had stopped by and overheard their conversation, they would be confused as to what was going on but to everyone else in the bar, it seemed that they had met for the first time that night and were enjoying each other's company, which was exactly what Beverly had wanted.
"So do you travel a lot?" Beverly asked as she picked at her crusty bread on the plate to her right.
"Yes, I never stay too long in one place as I tend to get restless," he admitted.
"That is shame," she said as she leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table. "Doesn't that make meeting someone difficult?"
"It can," he answered "but I might have already decided on someone and I'm willing to wait till the time is right."
"Do tell me more," she urged him.
"Maybe later," he answered as he stood up and offered his hand to her. "Do you dance?"
"Why, yes, I love to," she replied as she took his hand and stood up. "I have to admit, I wouldn't have you down as a dancing man."
"If the right partner comes along then, I do dance," he replied.
"My, you are good with your words," she said with a smile as they reached the small dance floor in the centre of the bar.
They got into a waltz hold and moved effortlessly to the music, they matched each other's steps with perfect timing, they moulded to one another and lost themselves in each other. Not a word was said they moved around the dance floor. Beverly leaned closer to him and he pulled her up against his body and nuzzled into her neck. Beverly sighed softly and cocked her head to the side, allowing him access. She sighed as his warm, soft lips grazed the soft skin of her neck.
"Is the time right?" she asked softly.
"I believe so," he replied as he looked into her eyes for confirmation from her.
"I think you're right," she confirmed as she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his gently.
Beverly wondered if she had made the wrong move when she felt that his lips weren't responding, she went to pull away and was about to blame the whiskey when she felt his arms wrap around and hold her against him. Jean-Luc softly planted lots of butterfly kisses over her lips before kissing her properly. Beverly felt herself grow weak at the knees as she responded to the kiss. She had experienced chaste kisses from him over the years, but never had she expected him to kiss her like this. Her arms came up to loop around his neck as the kiss deepened. She lost all sense of where she was as she was completely lost in the man who held her.
Their positions, their friendship, the struggles they had overcome, all blurred into the back-ground as they relished in the moment on the dance floor. Never had Jean-Luc Picard engaged in anything intimate in such a public place, so Beverly was surprised when she felt his hands slide down her back and down to cup her bottom. She moaned against his lips, reminding him of where they were.
"Ah," he said as he pulled away. "Couldn't help myself, as I have been wanting to do that since I first clapped eyes on you."
Beverly was about to ask exactly which 'first meeting' that was but decided she would ask that question another time.
"I wasn't complaining," she replied softly. "However, I would like to go somewhere a little less populated."
"I know just the place," he said before kissing her gently and leading her towards the doors.
Beverly found herself led gently towards the exit; she couldn't fight the bubbles of excitement that were floating around her stomach. Never in her wildest dreams,
had she thought that the evening would end like this. She smiled softly to herself as Jean-Luc expertly weaved them around the other people on the dance floor. His warm hand squeezed hers affectionately as they reached the door and they stepped out into the cool air of Celtis 4.
Nothing was spoken between them as they made their way to the rooms that Jean-Luc had been assigned to while negotiating the peace treaty. Worf hadn't been happy when Governor Mattox had requested for Jean-Luc to remain on the planet throughout the negotiations, but after some carefully chosen words, Worf had agreed that Jean-Luc could remain as long as other senior staff members, including himself, would remain as well.
Jean-Luc hadn't let go of her hand and the warmth from it spread through her body and made her body flush. Beverly felt like a silly schoolgirl as they walked hand in hand towards his rooms. She kept looking over at him, taking in his features without him knowing. He caught her a couple of times and shot her a smile, it was the smile that she had always be convinced he saved for her. They didn't feel the need to talk as they walked, for after such a long friendship, they knew what the other was feeling by simply looking in the eyes and Beverly was in no doubt of his intentions once they got to his rooms.
"Here we are," Jean-Luc said, breaking the comfortable silence.
Beverly looked over at him and smiled as he opened the door and allowed her to step in before him. Jean-Luc had certainly gotten better rooms than she had been allocated. The rooms were bigger, warmer, and he even had a bubbling hot tub in the far corner.
"How the other half live," she said as her eyes continued to scan the rooms he had been given, like a hawk looking for its next meal.
"Yours aren't like this?" he asked in surprise.
"Not even close," she revealed as she turned around to look at him, a small smile playing on her lips.
"I'll mention that to Mattox," he began.
His words were abruptly cut off by her warm, questioning lips. His mouth opened, allowing her to deepen the kiss while his arms wrapped around her lithe waist and pulled her up against his body. His hands moved up her back and his fingers became entangled in her red locks their tongues fought a war of dominance before one of them relented. Beverly moaned softly into his mouth as his fingers continued to massage her scalp in the most delicious of ways. She felt herself being walked backwards and relaxed, trusting him not to let them bump into anything. One of his hands dropped from her hair and fumbled clumsily for the doorknob that must have led into the bedroom. Beverly smiled against his lips as she felt a frustrated rumble working up through his chest and she reached behind them and turned the knob. The door swung open and Jean-Luc pulled away to look at her.
"Thank you," he said with a smile.
"My pleasure," Beverly responded as hands moved down his manly chest and took his hands in hers. She took a few steps backwards, bringing him with her into the darkened bedroom.
The back of Beverly knees hit the edge of the bed and she wobbled backwards but she felt Jean-Luc's hands encircle her waist and keep her steady. They stood that way, looking into each other's eyes with the light coming from the open fire that had been made up while Jean-Luc had been out. The importance of what was about to happen was not lost on them both, but for the first time ever, they were not afraid to run from it.
Beverly stepped forward and whispered softly in his ear. "I love you."
When Jean-Luc took a step back and looked at her, Beverly suddenly felt a little uneasy. Had she spoken those three words too soon? After so many years of trying to keep them close to her chest, being afraid to say them to him, they had slipped out so easily.
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, softly. "I love you too."
All the restraint they had shown up to this moment flew out of the window as soon as he spoke those words. His mouth covered hers as he slowly lowered her down on to the comfortable, four-poster bed as his hands gathered the bottom of the fitted jumper she had on and carefully pulled it up over her head. He threw it on to the floor, not caring where it landed. His jumper followed closely as did the rest of the clothing, they were both impatient to explore one another, after years of repressed desires.
"You're so beautiful," Jean-Luc told her as he looked down at the woman beneath him, his hazel eyes drinking in the sight of her and committing it to a memory that he was sure to call up regularly. "So beautiful."
Beverly's hands took a leisurely trip from his shoulders down to his stomach, her fingers brushing against his skin, teasing against his hard nipples as she explored him. Jean-Luc lowered his head and pressed a gentle kiss just under her ear lobe before his tongue travelled down the path of the hollow of her throat. She shuddered beneath him and arched into his teasing touch as her own hands began to explore his back and massage his bottom while she grinding was up against him.
"Oh Gods, Beverly, what you do to me," he breathed against her breast before his tongue and hands explored the womanly mounds.
Beverly gasped in delight as his warm mouth covered her and then moaned as she felt his teeth tug gently on the pert nipple. She arched up, wanting him to take as much of her breast into his mouth as he could. Her hands continued to their own exploration as he lavished her breasts with attention, his back muscles flexed under her hands and she pulled him closer to her. She loved touching him, letting her long, nimble fingers explore him. She knew his body from being his physician, but it was completely different to knowing his body as his lover. She gasped at the feelings that word created in her already heated body.
"Ma cherie," he mumbled softly against her heated skin.
Beverly cupped his head between her hands, stilling his movements and bringing his face up to meet her. She rested her forehead against his and looked into his eyes under heavy lids. Her hands caressed his shoulders before moving down his chest and further still. She smiled in delight as she touched him for the first time and felt him jerk at her touch. He moaned, his breathing heavy and ladden with want and desire.
"Beverly," he moaned as she continued to stroke, "I won't hold out for much longer if you continue."
Her hand dropped from him as she positioned herself underneath him and she smiled up at him softly, knowing they were finally going to become one after twenty plus years of denying the attraction, the need, and the love between them.
"I need you, Jean-Luc," she purred as she wrapped one of her long dancer's legs around his waist.
"And I need you," he repeated as he leaned forward and caught her lips as he positioned himself at her entrance.
With one, deliberate slow push, they became one. Beverly arched up to meet him, letting him in deeper. Their eyes were locked as Jean-Luc began to move, slowly at first but picking up speed. Beverly's arms tightened around his and her nails dug gently into his back, leaving indents. The pace was growing in intensity as they moved in syncronization, clinging on to one another. Jean-Luc felt her internal muscles begin to clench around him, sending him closer and closer to the edge. Suddenly, he caught off guard and he shuddered inside her, her name being shouted as she followed with her own release. Jean-Luc lowered himself down, rolling them over on to their sides. He did not want to leave her warmth before he had too. Their bodies still joined, soft words were exchanged between them as they shared tender kisses before curling up in each others arms and falling asleep.
The next morning, the Celtis 4 sun shone through the window brightly, stirring the occupants of the bed and causing them to burrow under the covers.
"I forgot to draw the curtains," moaned Jean-Luc as he wrapped his arms around Beverly and buried his head in to her neck.
"I don't think drawing the curtains was top priority last night," she replied softly.
"We had other things on our minds," he agreed.
"More enjoyable things," she said with a smile.
"So what actually got into you last night?" Jean-Luc asked as he lifted her red curls away from her neck, giving him access to her creamy skin there.
"Don't think badly of me Jean-Luc," she asked quietly.
"I could never do that," he replied, kissing her gently on the shoulder.
"I wanted to lay some ghosts to rest for us both," she began to explain as she turned around in his arms so she could face him. "I thought if we pretended for a moment that Jack hadn't existed, we could get over what was holding us back and take the step we have wanted to for so long."
She hoped her words hadn't come across cold and dismissive, she hadn't meant to come across that way but she didn't know how else to explain her reasoning behind her actions last night. She had wanted to lay ghosts to rest and move on with her life with the man she loved. She would never forget Jack and didn't want to block him out of her life, but she had had to just so she could move on.
Jean-Luc's silence was beginning to worry her, he was simply staring at her and she suddenly felt very small. He didn't understand what she had been trying to say and she had probably destroyed the relationship before it had even really started.
"I just wanted us to start afresh and I thought that was a good way to do it," she added quickly, her words coming out faster than she had intended. "I thought our meeting last night could have been like our first one, where there was no guilt involved, just us. One man. One woman. Jean-Luc, please say something."
Beverly closed her eyes as she felt his hands slide up her bare arms and come to rest upon her shoulders. She gasped as she felt his lips brush against hers hungrily and she gave into him despite he had taken her words the wrong way.
"I understand, my love," he assured as he pulled away and looked into her eyes. "We can move forward together, but promise me, you'll tell me well in advance if you intend to test another one of your theories."
"Well, I would promise if my mind wasn't already on other things," she said as she pulled him closer and caught his lips with hers as she rolled him on to his back. She felt him smile against his lips and she took that opportunity to deepen the kiss and take his mind of any future theories she might have.
fin