Not How It's Supposed to Be

By Gabs

DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me, I don't claim they do, don't sue, do review!

She wasn't supposed to remember. So how does she? Maybe she doesn't remember. Not all of it, anyway. Perhaps just bits and pieces? Small flashes, love of a life she thinks she once had? It sounds hollow, even to me. But it's all I have to hold on to. The other two options are the extremes, and I can't handle the thought of either of those.

She remembers absolutely nothing. That was how it was supposed to be. I hated that option, but it meant she at least stayed alive. She had a new life, no memories of all the pain she had to endure. No memories of me. Of our life, our love, our home. Her garden. None of that would affect her anymore.

Or else, it didn't work. She remembered everything. My lies. My deceit. All the pain, her cancer. I didn't like the idea of her remembering nothing, but it was better than the thought of her knowing all the pain.

What if the drug failed? I'm afraid that's what happened. What else could explain the strange phone calls? And her name on the register at the Baranca? It's the only explanation.

She's alive, of course. She remembers everything. She blames me. She thinks I was really intending to kill her. What else would she believe? After all she found out about what I really do at SD-6, how could she ever believe anything else I've told her?

I have to find her. I must make her understand. I never wanted to do that to her. But if I didn't, the Alliance would have. I didn't want to ruin her life… OUR life. But I did what I had to do in order to ensure her survival in the end. I put the drug in her wine that night. It was supposed to wipe out her memory, and knock her out long enough for someone to take her to Canada and give her a whole new life away from the Alliance, SD-6, and me.

That's what it was supposed to be.

But obviously, it's not how it really is.

And I don't know what to do next.

I, Arvin Sloane, have lost control of the situation.

Yeah, it's kinda weird. Just an idea that popped into my head today. Please review, let me know what you think. Thanks!