Fear of a Vala
Declaimer: somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true...Somewhere over the rainbow I own the Silmarillion. This, unfortunately, is not somewhere over the rainbow.
The Discovery of Arachnophobia
Morgoth, in better days known as Melkor, sat in his mighty fortress of Utumno. He was as happy as a Dark Lord could be. Most of the earth was under his domination. He had minions galore. Everything was going according to the plan. The second the Elves and those foolish Men tried to gather a force that could be even a tiny danger to ten orcs and a couple of Balrogs, he interfered. Whether he interfered directly or no, Morgoth decided on the spot. It was much more fun to see all those stupid people destroy themselves, but sometimes his minions needed exercise.
As Morgoth contemplated, he sat on his huge black throne. It wasn't a very nice throne. It certainly looked imposing, but Morgoth thought a couple of cushions would improve it immensely. But of course, formidable Dark Lords should not sit on cushions. Morgoth wondered who had invented that terribly inconvenient stereotype.
Just as Morgoth thought wistfully of cushions, he looked down at his black, black floor. Mostly everything in Utumno was black. Suddenly, Morgoth saw it. Crawling across the floor, looking rather dreadful, was a spider. Now, Morgoth did not like spiders. He hadn't minded them before, but since he had had his little adventure with Ungoliath, he didn't really adore them. No, that was an understatement. He didn't like them at all. No, never mind, he hated them. Morgoth looked at the spider. He felt disgusted. Those eight legs made him feel slightly nauseous. He was rather hypnotized. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off it. The spider stopped. A shiver crept down the great Dark Lord's spine. He tried to tear his eyes away from the spider, but somehow he couldn't. The spider moved a bit closer. Morgoth felt a chill. The spider was close. Very close. It was almost at Morgoth's feet.
Suddenly, he was completely overwhelmed by terror. He jumped up on his throne. He wanted to scream for help. So that was exactly what he did.
"SAURON!" he shrieked. "SAURON!"
Ten seconds passed. The spider was at the base of the throne. Morgoth was almost hyperventalating now.
"SAURON!"
Morgoth was gasping in terror. Then Sauron ran into the room. He looked in great surprise at his master standing on top of his own throne.
"Yes, master?" asked Sauron, sounding rather as if he was muffling laughter.
Morgoth pointed at the floor. Sauron walked closer.
"It's a spider," he said.
"I know," snarled Morgoth. "Squash it!"
Sauron obeyed obligingly. Morgoth found that he could breathe again. Then he noticed that Sauron was hurrying out of the room very fast. Morgoth groaned.
"He's never going to let me live this down," he moaned.
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