Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. They are the intellectual property of Magica Quartet (but really it was Urobuchi who came up with them), and I hope they take good care of them there. The cover illustration and first two lines/description are taken from "Hoshi-meguri" (星めぐり) by the wonderful Hiyoi (ひよい), who very kindly allowed me to use it. Check her stuff out on Pixiv if you've got an account~
あなたにもう一度巡り会うためなら、私は星々を何度だってめぐるの。あなたが私にそうしたくれたように。
If it's to see you once more, I will circle the stars again and again. Just the same as what you did for me.
.
The streets below glitter, twinkling like reflections of the stars above. It's only at night, the realm of lovers and dreamers, that such unity can be found. In the harsh light of day, a chasm gapes between the heavens and earth.
A girl sits on a girder – the bone of a half-finished building's skeleton – with her hair dancing long and loose in the wind. The air surrounds her, its touch light as a caress, gentle as a kiss. The air surrounds her.
.
I am the air.
I am the law governing the wind, the hand which dries her tears.
I am the principle, the guiding force behind lost lambs' salvation.
I am…
I am Kaname Madoka.
.
A principle need not be anything but a set of rules. Does gravity have a consciousness? I don't think so. If it ever had one, it must have been lost long ago. I'm beginning to suspect that the same will happen to me.
Truth to be told, it scares me.
I experience everything, the entirety of human history and its future, in every single moment. No, the term "moment" is misleading – time doesn't really exist here-where-everything-happens-all-at-once; it is only a concept imposed by my human self, affecting nothing outside of me. Knowledge surrounds me like a sea, and I'm drowning. My consciousness, unable to perceive and interpret so much information, slips away and it's increasingly difficult to pull it back. Eventually I won't be able to, and Kaname Madoka will truly cease to exist. Even though souls of the fallen keep me company, they are frail, and should I forget myself they shall too; right now, all that grounds my existence is a strip of red satin and a single girl's memories.
It's ironic. Her existence has revolved around mine for the longest time, and still does, but now, my existence revolves around hers as well. We are closer than we have ever been, but now that our hearts are linked our bodies are divided by time and space. It is only now, when I do not have a body to feel her with, that I want to reach out and touch her, to comfort and be comforted. It is only now, when I do not have a mouth to speak to her with, that I want to smile and say that it's all right, to tell and be told of our love for one another.
.
In this state, which has devoted its entire self to the service of others, I cannot feel despair, not even now.
No.
It isn't despair, because I'm still hoping.
Hoping, wishing, praying for the day I can see her again.
Author's note: This fic - my first completed one, actually - was inspired by the illustration I ended up using for the cover picture, and was really an attempt to put some of my idea's about Madoka's existence as a principle down in writing. And I apologise for the idiot spacing; FF-net was acting up so I couldn't leave any line breaks otherwise (if somebody knows how to fix this, please tell me). Thanks for reading!