A/N: Disclaimer - I do not own the rights to TVD nor the characters.
Premise: One possible way, over two different episodes, to resolve the Delena/Stelena dilemma. Love and respect to the TVD family, but I want/need to accelerate the love triangle– so much so, that this is my first ever effort to be an author. I think/hope Delena and Stelena fans will appreciate this FanFic for the respectful treatment of the triangle despite only one brother winning the girl. My personal frustration may be rather blatant, resulting in both chapters being a bit romance-saga-like, so be nice to an older newbie.) Chapter one, the stage is set with a recap of the very end of episode 3X14, leading into some modified scenes for 3X15…
Chapter one: Coming to Terms
Last week on TVD 3X14:
Stefan grabs Elena's wrists and firmly pulling her soft delicate hands from his face but not quite letting go yet. He couldn't take much more of the feel of skin on skin triggering more memories of her touch flooding back. He remembered her gloved hand from earlier in the evening leading him outside, not wanting to let go, the curve of her form meeting his body during the waltz, it had ended too soon. It was getting increasingly difficult to not let it all back in, to let her in. Stefan steeled his resolve as best he could, back to form; he had to discourage Elena at all costs to keep her safe. He bit out, "If I let myself feel, all I feel is pain," and left, bounding off the porch two steps at a time.
3X15 Opens:
Elena woke in the same tormented state which had ruined her sleep repeatedly overnight. Having decreed a death sentence last night weighed on her. At the same time, Stefan, just maybe, she might be able to get her Stefan back, was it possible? She felt guilty and hopeful, and then more guilt for feeling hopeful. Argghhhh! Elena closed her eyes and shook her head to clear her conflicted mind. She would deal with the Original problem later. She had to focus on Stefan first if there was even the slightest chance…
There had to be a way to break through Stefan's emotional control somehow. There was a moment, just a small crack in his façade tonight. She saw the opportunity and had asked him to show a little care for her, just a little, a small morsel she could hold on to was all she'd hoped for…not to recover from his entire ordeal all at once. Of course, she didn't want him to feel pain but he would need to work through it to be able to move forward, to regain some measure of the man she knew he could be.
It seemed obvious to her that he could feel. There was anger, hatred, and rage. What was it that Katherine had said about love and hate? There was a song about it. She kicked free of her linens and hoped the morning chill would help rouse her sleep deprived brain to an answer. Was there a switch that a vampire could flip to turn off just some emotions? That didn't seem likely. And it didn't actually seem like those emotions were turned off, not really, not when she thought she'd glimpsed something in his eyes…
Maybe it was nothing to do with being able to flip a switch. Maybe it was a more human effort to bury his feelings for her, to keep her away from him… She gnawed lightly on her lip as she pondered. She was missing something. It just didn't add up. Yes, he had hurt her. Of course, his bite scarred her in more than one way, but he had been compelled. Elena would not soon forget but she could forgive him. And really was forgiveness even necessary? It was not Stefan's fault. He should not feel guilt about something another forced him to do, but that was Stefan to a tee. If anyone should feel guilty she should about sentencing Elijah to death. No one had forced her to lie to Elijah. They just needed Klaus dead. It all came full circle again to the real culprit. For Elena, all her anger and hate was directed, as it should have been, at Klaus, not at Stefan. "Enough!" she thought and flung herself out of bed willing her mind to stay focused.
Elena didn't want to stew any further. It only drove her down tangents, non-essential for today. Today she needed to take action. Brushing her teeth, see stared at her reflection. She needed to be a strong woman today not the tired young girl looking back at her. If there was a chink in the armor, if Stefan was showing signs of letting his guard down, she had to reach in and help pull him back to her. She was on a mission and her strength of purpose drove her faster through her morning routines. Stefan had always encouraged her, with her brother, her friends, that if you wanted to solve a relationship problem, you go to the source. She'd smile up at him and nod, knowing he was always right and thanking him for the encouragement. But of course, this was not just some minor relationship problem...
Hesitating for a moment, Elena pondered how to proceed. What if she went straight to Stefan, confronting him again like last night, what would happen? She told him that she wasn't going to stop. Would Stefan simply sneer at her, tell her she was wrong, tell her to get over it…over him? Would the window of opportunity she glimpsed last night be closed irreparably? She considered her next steps thoughtfully but quickly. Her best option to ensure the desired result, although she hated to admit it, was Damon. No one else knew Stefan like Damon did. Damon could push all the right buttons, on anyone, especially his brother.
Then again, after last night, when she told Damon that maybe his feelings for her were a problem, Elena wasn't sure that Damon would be in the mood to help her. It would be a delicate matter to say the least. Of course Damon wanted Stefan back in the fold, his best "bro", but not necessarily as the "good" Stefan. Damon wanted Stefan to be more like Damon. Not the abstaining and disapproving Stefan that at times despised Damon.
Then there was also the matter of Damon's feelings toward Elena and whether or not they were reciprocated. Damon probably feared that someday Stefan would re-embrace his humanity leading to Stefan winning Elena all over again. Not exactly in Damon's best interests…he'd said he loved her. Elena's throat caught at the thought of that kiss, that kiss, on the very same porch on which just last night Elena had hoped she would break through to Stefan. OK, just Stop! Elena told herself. Stop over-thinking this. Ultimately, she convinced herself going to Damon was the best next step. She had to talk to him anyway to relay the news, and her reservations, about Esther's plan.
Elena called ahead. A sardonic, "What," was his hello. Had she woken him? He was obviously angry with her which led to Elena's, "Damon, if you are still mad at me, you need to get over it." She heard the rustle of sheets as he hung up saying he already was. Exasperated but determined, Elena left to handle this in person.
On her way to see Damon, she rang Stefan. It went to voicemail. Not immediately like it does when the phone is off, but... Had he hit "ignore"? Why would he ignore her call? Was that the beep? Shoot. She left an awkward voicemail letting him know she was going to be over and fumbled to end the call. Really, Elena, she rolled her eyes at herself. She wasn't used to being covert with Stefan. She was nervous. She hadn't really thought this part through well enough. She wanted to know where Stefan was this morning, considering the range of vampire hearing. She needed a private conversation with Damon first...maybe she'd take Damon for a ride to talk… Her mind raced to plan but then Stefan immediately called her back.
"I'm not at home, sorry. What do you need?" he said brusquely. "I was just trying to reach Damon and make sure he made it home ok after last night," she answered quelling her nerves. "Well, I'm sure he's fine, I, uh, heard him come in last night, quite late though, so he's probably still asleep. I'll be back later and will check up on him for you. Don't trouble yourself." She tried to interject but he continued, "So I'll have Damon call you later, k? I gotta run." And he was gone. OK, she thought, oddly abrupt but then that was the new Stefan. Elena didn't have to say too much and she didn't lie, not really. Good. He's not at home so he won't even know about the conversation with Damon. Perfect. With that she rounded the last corner before turning into the Salvatore driveway.
Elena arrived at the boarding house none too thrilled with the prospect of entering Damon's room, waking him, again, and possibly having this conversation in his bedroom. Damon enjoyed riling her up, like the time he showed up in the foyer wearing nothing but the remnants of a bubble bath…What would she find today after her treatment of him last night? She was prepared to avert her eyes quickly if the need, well, arose…She snickered at the thought before steeling herself to leave the safety of her vehicle.
Approaching the front entry, she was just in time to witness a shirtless Damon opening the door for Rebecca departing in her torn evening gown with heels in hand. Rebecca seemed to enjoy the stunned face of Elena, the doppelganger's eyes wide and mouth open but unable to utter a single sound. Rebecca preferred when the precious Elena would shut up so this suited her just fine. She could barely stifle a giggle and didn't even attempt to hide the grin as she passed by Elena.
After moving past his initial surprise, and maybe a hint of regret, Damon grandly held the door open with mocking welcome and an exaggerated "Why, good morning, Miss Gilbert. I haven't caused you another problem have I?"
Struggling to focus on her mission she said, "I needed to talk to you without Stefan overhearing. He said he'd be back later." Elena slowly entered the Salvatore home still experiencing an otherworldly sense of disbelief. She made her way to the closest sofa, hesitated, then sat, then stood, not quite knowing what to say first. And where did Damon go?
As he suddenly reappeared putting on a shirt, Elena asked Damon, "Are you still on vervain?"
"You think Rebecca had to compel me?" Damon countered stepping down into the room.
"She tried to kill me less than 48 hours ago." She paused seeing this had no effect on him. "You, Damon, you told me you loved me less than 24 hours ago…"
"So which bothers you more, that she tried to kill you or that I took her to bed?"
Elena bit her tongue. She would not let this degrade to petty barbs nor would she admit his sleeping with Rebecca had hurt her. She was not jealous. That wasn't it. Elena took a beat. In a low, soft, but somewhat tight voice, Elena slowly explained. "It bothers me that you would think yourself in love, have a disagreement, and decide your best course of action is to tempt an Original to kill you. And when that fails, decide to hurt the one you supposedly love by sleeping with another."
"It's not like I had the chance to sleep with you, did I? Or are you offering?" he smirked.
"Damon…" Elena admonished him.
"Oh come on, Elena, it didn't hurt you that I slept with her. You don't love me. And you never will."
"That's not true." Elena stopped. Did she just say that? She said that wrong. Damon stopped dead still. Suddenly it seemed all too quiet, like time stopped briefly as that last bit replayed in both of their minds. What had she said…? He was in front of her in a flash, not too close though, not wanting to intimidate, his eyes searching her face, not quite believing what he thought he heard. He didn't want to speak for fear it would stop her from finally telling him how she felt. He just slightly raised his brows, silently asking, hoping, for her to continue.
Elena looked down and away. She bit her lip. She gathered her thoughts putting a few more steps between them. She felt that somehow, space would help her think. She didn't want to again say something she didn't mean, just like last night. "Look, Damon," she paused. This was not her plan. She was not prepared to face this now. But she's the one that started it. Slowly, stumbling to formulate her words, "That night, when you kissed me…when we kissed…that was when…I really knew…that I had to deal with…well, that there was some truth…that there could maybe be something, something in the future, between us. Maybe... But… But how could I? How could we? "
Her question was laden with guilt and while rhetorical, if he had an answer, she would have liked to know. Clearly she was still struggling with how she felt. Another raised eyebrow asking her to keep going. She tried to explain, "I was so conflicted after that. I put it out of my head. I didn't want to think about it. But then it got harder to not think about. It had been so long since... I was feeling so alone and missing…. We were always together, helping each other through" she stopped, struggling to articulate. "I just, I, I didn't want to admit it, but I liked it. I liked kissing you," she said speeding up so her confession could end sooner. It was quiet again. Elena's cheeks felt hot. He could hear her heart skip.
Quietly Damon prodded, "So what are you saying, Elena?"
She turned suddenly and almost angrily proclaimed, seemingly out of nowhere, "You know, you killed my brother." This might not be going where he'd hoped after all. There was a slight touch of hysteria in her voice as she proffered how ludicrous loving him would seem. "You killed my uncle, my father, well, you know what I mean. Yes they both came back but… You killed Lexi." She looked at him with confusion and near disbelief. "But then there was Rose. I think you really cared for her, deeply. " Pacing as she lectured aloud, Elena continued defining the dichotomy that was Damon as she saw it. "Half the time you torture Stefan, the other half you seem to love him, you save each other. You've hurt me and those I love in so many ways, Damon. I don't get it. I don't think I'll ever get it. How, lately, you've been so good to me, taking care of me, protecting me, my family, helping me find my way through…together finding our way through all this madness with Klaus, searching for Stefan… But I just..." Pausing again, working it out for her and at the same time trying to help him see the contradiction that plagued her whenever she tried to figure out her feelings for him. More quietly but quite poignantly, she continued, looking him straight in the eyes. "You tried to turn me without any thought or care that I didn't want to be turned. It was because you couldn't lose me. For you. Not for me, for you. That's not really love, Damon." She looked at him with such love and pain, willing him to understand that she didn't want to hurt him. "I could never completely trust you; sure you protect me in so many ways, but in making major life decisions, in being really together. What happens the next time I upset you?" Elena paused, thinking back to how this all started and summed it up having worked through it right in front of him, "So, you say I don't love you and I never will. I say, no Damon, I actually sort of do, but it's not enough, to be with you."
The room got very quiet. Elena wasn't sure if she'd gone too far. Would he fly off the handle? Would he make some snarky remark? She tried to read his face and gauge what might come. It seemed as though time stood still. It took forever for him to speak. "I love you," Damon said with a softness and tenderness that nearly broke her heart. She knew. Of course she knew. It was so real, for him, as deep a love he was capable of giving. She slowly reached out to touch his arm. She would have liked to have held him out of compassion but only if she was sure it wouldn't hurt him more.
Damon stared long and hard, first at the floor, then at her, still absorbing all that she had shared. Knowing she was right, that he hurt her more times than he cared to remember despite all the times he protected her. Even though he might be better for her today than he had been at any other time, he still wasn't good enough. Last night proved all the more that he was still self-destructive and rash, that he would lash out at her by bedding another. Stefan, at least the real Stefan, would not hurt Elena this way. Once again, Damon was resigned to believing he didn't and would never really deserve her.
It was as though Elena could sense his acceptance of her words. She moved a little closer, her hand still lightly holding his arm. Damon carefully took the next step into her arms, not wanting her to fear his intentions. He leaned into her shoulder, his arms at his sides, letting her hold him, his face away from her, not wanting her to see how deep was his disappointment, trying to remember this feeling, this moment in her arms, trying to swallow the protective wall of sarcasm that could so easily protect him. He gently placed his hands on her hips to ease out of her embrace; he turned to face her, those deep brown eyes. He clung still to hope for a chance, someday, just not right now.
The front door slammed. Both Damon and Elena were startled, stepping back from each other, Damon still vulnerable and Elena looking a bit guilty but not really sure why. Stefan entered both glaring and smirking at the scene before him. "Well, good morning to you both. How perfect was it that I was out this morning so that Damon's revolving door of women could keep spinning without any interruption from me!" Elena frowned at the insinuation that she was next in line. "Was that what you called for this morning, Elena, to ensure the coast was clear for my brother to service you?" Elena pursed her lips to hold back a gasp and just stared at him, having gotten a bit more used to such remarks from this Stefan, even if his words were particularly harsh. Elena thought she saw disgust in his eyes as he looked down and away ever so briefly. But something gave her pause. Was he disgusted by thought of what he said or was it the fact that he'd said it? He looked a little like someone having a hard time keeping down the bile rising in his throat. Stefan recovered quickly, if indeed Elena had really seen something there.
He sauntered down the steps over to his preferred decanter to pour a drink. "What?" he said wide-eyed, feigning innocence, "Should we be toasting the happy couple? Did you two need to make up? How's your neck after last night, Damon? Maybe Rebecca helped you work out the kinks overnight before her walk of shame…torn dress and all."
"Are you done?" Damon snidely chided, back to form, masking his earlier disappointment.
Slowly Elena took a few steps around the room, angling toward Stefan. "Wait. So,…when you called me back earlier, you knew Rebecca was here?" Elena asked slowly, working out the odd call with Stefan this morning. "You were trying to keep me from coming over here. Was it so I wouldn't find out about Rebecca?" No reaction from Stefan. "Were you trying to spare my feelings? Why would you do that?" The implication being that he cared. Stefan just stared harder at her, wondering if she would figure out the real reason, even beyond suspecting his jealousy of Damon. "No, it was something else. You didn't want me over here, but not because of Rebecca,…what was it?" Stefan made to leave as if all this was nonsense. Secretly he hoped it would stop her progress from noticing how he had misspoken a moment ago. He waivered when Elena spoke again, stopping on the steps. "You saw her torn dress…You saw Rebecca leave, didn't you? So, you were still here when I arrived! Why did you lie and say you weren't home? Have you been home this whole time? "
Stefan rolled his eyes, again feigning innocence, "What are you talking about? You saw me come home just now."
"No, we heard the door slam shut," Damon corrected, "and I never heard you leave this morning. I just assumed you were out when Elena said you'd be back later."
"Whatever, you both are paranoid," changing the subject, and as if just checking before he went ahead and left them he added, "Did you tell Damon about Esther's plan?"
"What plan?" Damon asked turning back to Elena.
Elena still watched Stefan. She knew. He was just barely keeping control. It was an act and her window of opportunity was still open. He was afraid of Elena continuing her pursuit of making him feel and was reasserting efforts to push her away. She knew what had to be done but not here, not now.
Elena allowed the change of subject, telling Damon what she and Stefan already knew about Esther's plan. Damon thought it was terrific news. The brothers both pressured her not to warn Elijah. They were not to try to stop Esther in any way. Elena left, frustrated that they didn't see her side, but also hopeful for the right time to again pursue Stefan's humanity. For now, she would focus on finding some help for Elijah. She headed for Bonnie's, calling Caroline on the way.
EPISODE 3x15 CONTINUES AS IS FROM HERE, AS WELL AS 3x16 AND 3x17 (possibly needing some tweaks for continuity) UNTIL CHAPTER TWO.