A/N: Hey, Storm here. So this is a solo peice for this account. Possibly the weirdest thing I have ever written. Not gonna lie. I hope you like it though
Warnings: Spoilers for season 5.
Summary: Trapped in the swirling darkness he waits and listens, remembering nothing and searching the emptiness around him for that one word that will bring it all rushing back. Gen Oneshot. Spoilers for season 5.
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It feels like he's drowning, underwater currents tossing him side to side in a whirlpool of motion and he's losing his sense of direction. All he can remember is light and pain and darkness and a word but most of the time even that escapes him while other times it practically screams in his head. And he knows if he could just hold on to it he would understand, would be able to escape; only he can't. The word slips from his mind like water through a sieve, teasingly and fleetingly each time it appears. It's infuriating and he wishes he was strong enough to fight back and keep it in place.
Sometimes he hears voices. They don't quite make sense but he hears them. Just little snippets of conversations from nowhere. He strains to hear them nevertheless hoping one day they'll jog his memory and he will escape the oppressive darkness surrounding him.
"Sam won't resist much longer. He's fighting a lo-"
"Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite."
"I want to say yes."
"Excuse me?" Somehow he knows that that's bad; hearing the word yes in that voice. It's a familiar voice, he recognises it from somewhere but he's not sure where. He thinks it has something to do with that one word. (That annoyingly elusive word he can't ever grasp on to long enough) So he screams and beats his fist against the eternal darkness because he knows that it's all wrong and it feels like his mystery lifeline is sinking further into the black; the holes in the sieve getting larger and larger. His shrieking does him no good and when he finally gives up he come to the sudden awareness that in all his time in the gloom he hasn't once referred to himself by name.
It scares him that bit more when he realises he doesn't even remember.
It's silent in the darkness for what feels like a long time after that but, as far he knows, it could only be minutes. He doesn't know how time works while he's trapped here. He just knows that it feels like forever. Eventually though the voices return but this time it's different. The darkness moves differently around him before they start, dragging him around in what he thinks is a less uniform manner, the whirlpool swirling becoming harsher. It's not the normal voice that speaks either, although the tone is the same, and somehow he gets the sense this time the words are directed at him rather than elsewhere.
"I can't believe I left you for even a moment, little brother."
If it's possible he's even more confused after that. He calls out to the voice then, even though he knows it won't hear him. He demands answers until his voice cracks. He still doesn't get them but he already knew he wouldn't. He's stubborn though and refuses to give in so easily, bringing to mind all the conversations of the voices that he can remember and piecing them together to try and form the bigger picture. Only when he's finished he knows he's missing something. Something vital that would make everything fall into place and make sense.
It's that stupid word again and he knows it.
Later something is happening with the voices. They're more consistent, almost desperate. They feel like the end is coming but the end of what he isn't quite sure. He can sense the emotion in them though and it's slightly unnerving. These conversations have nothing to do with him and yet he feels involved. Almost as if he can hear them for a reason.
"Think about it. Dad made everything, which means He made me who I am. God wanted the devil."
"So?"
"Dean, even for you this is a whole new mountain of stupid."
"No one dicks with Michael but me."
For a fleeting moment he thinks he's hearing the two eldest archangels of Christianity arguing until he realises that the idea is so laughable it's practically insane. Despite the talk of God and the devil he's pretty sure that if it was actually Lucifer then the devil would not be using words like 'stupid' and 'dicks'. Pretty ridiculous really. There's a lot of scuffling sounds after that which is new and kind of interesting. There's a strange whistling sound not long after, like a hurricane or rumble of rocks falling in the distance. Then the voice speaks again, not aloud this time he realises in panic, but in his head which could only mean this darkness had finally driven him insane.
"I won't let them drag you down with me brother. Even I would not condemn another to that."
The darkness begins to shift violently again, only worse this time like he's being thrown into both a hurricane and earthquake at once. Then suddenly there is searing light and heat, burning at him painfully. Darkness follows shortly after but not the type he is accustom to. This time the darkness penetrates him completely and he falls to the ground (ground? Since when has there been ground in the gloom?) unconscious. When he wakes it's to bright sunlight and tranquillity with soft grass under his back and he remembers everything.
Gabriel. They call him Gabriel.
And he is alive.
He understands now as well, what has happened. How Lucifer had caught the last of his shattered grace and kept it in the jewel of a ring worn on his vessel's finger, leaving it to heal and reform. He understands that Lucifer must have got to Sam and convinced the boy to take him in and that was why he was surrounded by silence for that short period of time. And Lucifer's last words to him when he was trapped make sense as well – Sam had dragged Lucifer back to his cage like Gabriel had suggested in his death video and, not wanting him to share his fate, Lucifer had destroyed the ring that was his prison.
In the end his brother had loved him enough to let him go and somehow that hurts even more than when Lucifer had stabbed him in the heart of his grace.