A/N: I wrote this for a frostbite challenge at the LJ kakanaru community, about a year ago. I thought I should post it here as well. Enjoy.
"Naruto! Wait!"
Blinded with tears, Naruto fled away from his former sensei's apartment, blaming his stupid naivety for ever deciding to confess his unholy feelings to the jounin; not bothering to hear a word that those treacherous lips said, not reducing his pace for ever a fraction of a second and not even trying to think about what he had just seen.
He had been a fool; a fool to ever believe, to ever hope – to ever even think about, once in his life, having a happy ending. The other warm body resting beside Kakashi's had been familiar – awfully familiar, in fact.
He could stand betrayal from Sasuke – somewhere deep in his heart he always knew that the Uchiha would run away in the end – but this? It hurt him even more when he would reminisce about all those times that other warm body had held him close; mentored him; protected him; loved him in a parental way. It hurt him even more that the other warm body belonged to Iruka.
Kakashi ran as fast as he could behind Naruto, but he couldn't catch up - the blond angel was no longer a boy. Instead, deep inside those azure eyes he could clearly see a man; determined, stubborn and strong – yet still innocent like the first trembling sunray in a cloudy morning.
After a tiring mission any warm body would have been welcome, especially on a cursed stormy night like this. Kakashi was old enough to admit that he had seduced Iruka on purpose that night; gave him more sake than he could handle, lulling him with false reassurances of friendship and reciting bushido stories full of courage and pride that would make the chuunin's brown eyes widen with surprise and respect – only to lay him on his sheets and have his way with a body not much younger than his own.
It had meant nothing for him – it had only been pure lust, two bodies exchanging flesh satisfaction. His soul would never be touched by something like this; his soul would never be moved by something like this. For his soul already belonged to someone else. To someone he could never have and to someone he had just hurt gravely and irreversibly – really, would he ever be able to make amends? Would Naruto ever forgive him for what he had done?
Running deep in the forest, not really bothering to see towards where he was heading , Naruto tried to shun away everything related to the son of Konoha's Silver Fang; all their memories as a team; all the times they had protected each other; all the awkward moments after an accidental touch.
He had been blind, all along. After all, there was no way that someone with Kakashi's position in Konoha's elite ninja society would ever look at him as something more than the Nine Tails jinchuuriki – and perhaps a student, although he seriously doubted that, for the jounin had always been awfully cold towards them all.
The blizzard was clouding his vision – in this cold darkness, despite his drenched state, Kakashi was still hunting Naruto; he had to stop him; to explain; to make him listen; to hold him close. It was not an easy task – the snow was clouding his sense of smell and the blond man was moving too fast for him to catch up; the Kyuubi had made sure that Naruto could always have that extra boost when he needed it and right now Kakashi was cursing because of it.
Not only did he want to tell Naruto the truth about what had happened, but he was also worried about his health – he had noticed from his genin days that the young man never reacted well to cold, and this time would certainly be no exception, especially with a merciless snow storm surrounding them.
What would seem to another pair of eyes as a mere yellow flash bit back a wave of salty liquid piling up behind his eyes and kept running away – that's what he had been doing for all his life, anyway. Running away from his feelings; running away from his fears; running away from the man he loved. He bore no mind to the frosty wind that was whipping his face and only stopped after what felt like aeons of snow and rain and nothing in between.
He had reached a cave in the middle of nowhere – and frankly, nowhere would suit him just fine right now. Away from betraying mismatched eyes; away from unfaithful lips and away from meaningless words. He tried to empty his mind and snuggled close to himself, trying to keep his body warm. Cold had always been a big problem, ever since he could remember himself – he supposed he had to blame Kyuubi for that, but in exchange he did extremely well with heat.
During the brief Konoha winters he would usually put on another outfit underneath his usual clothing trying to avoid being noticed – the others would only start picking on him again if they ever found out a weakness. And it had worked for many years – it wasn't like anyone had been paying special attention to him, anyway.
Somewhere deep inside, he was glad about that; it meant that nobody had bothered to learn him deeply enough, therefore nobody could hurt him deeply enough – or so he thought. For there had been one man who could shred his heart into pieces with a single glimpse of his eye, and he didn't even know so: his former jounin sensei, Hatake Kakashi.
Even the mentioning of his name hurt too much right now – Naruto clenched his eyes shut and tried to think of something warm instead, like the joyful, dancing flames by the Third's fireplace or the hot, burning liquid that Tsunade loved drinking so much, sake.
His body had started shivering and he had no intention of lighting up a fire in the middle of the storm – not only would the wind blow it away in all kids of dangerous directions, but it would also betray his position to anything or anyone nearby.
Somewhere deep in his heart he wanted Kakashi to come after him; to find him and whisper soothing words in his ear, even if those words were sweet nothings. A dream – one he had been harboring for a long time now, and one he would never live to see come true.
He smiled bitterly and let his tired gaze rest on one of the cavern's walls. This one didn't ask questions; this one didn't scorn him for being what he was; this one did not seek to belittle and derogate him, instead it simply offered a relatively dry place for his washed-out body to lie. Even these cold walls seemed friendlier than many of Konoha's villagers.
A dry laugh echoed through the empty cavern and Naruto let the irony wash him like a cleansing rain. Now, all he had to do was sleep and wait for the blizzard to calm down – trying not to freeze in the meantime would be an added bonus.
Kakashi was desperate; even with his Sharingan on he hadn't been able to track down the man he was after – had Naruto become that good at hiding himself or had he simply lost him for good? The sad truth was that after his return from Jiraiya's training Kakashi had barely been able to evaluate his new skills – and after the young man's other long-term mission another couple of years had passed by without him seeing the blond bundle of joy.
It hurt him deeply that he knew very few things about the man he had feelings for, especially after he had left his team. He had always felt the need to protect him, especially when everyone else would try to degrade and insult him in every way possible – specifically the villagers. The young Uchiha's attitude hadn't helped either, and Kakashi had barely restrained himself from bashing Sakura's head into a wall countless times.
He had been one of the few people to see what was really lying behind the joyful mask – the need to be acknowledged, the need to be treated like a normal person, the need to have friends like everyone else, the need to be loved. Kakashi had wanted to help, but he could not – he was their teacher after all, and close relationships of the sorts were unheard of. So, he had acted like a total brick towards them all, pretending not to bother, feigning not to care.
But he had always kept a close eye on the blond kid – Naruto was the sun that would warm up everyone around him, his fake mask succeeding nevertheless at spreading joy around to anyone who would bother to look – even for a second. He was that powerful. And he never knew.
The jounin took a ragged breath in – running that much during this insane weather had been suicidal; yet he had tried, if only so as to catch a glimpse of a yellow spark. He had been exhausted of running in the middle of nowhere and snow; his lungs were burning, protesting for the exceeding overloading and his muscles were trembling from the fatigue. Really, he had been after Naruto for what seemed like years and his already tired from the latest mission body was not helping, either.
Continuing his insane race would only make him drop unconscious within the hour –an idea he was not particularly fond of. The wise decision would be to camp somewhere relatively dry and remote and resume his course the following day – Kakashi was certain that if the icy storm calmed down, he would be able to track Naruto no matter how far away he had already gone. He had to track Naruto down even if he had already reached the edge of the world.
His tired mind acknowledged a hole resembling a cave nearby and he decided to retreat his bone bag there, only to stand in shock a few moments later, when he discovered a frozen Naruto curled up in a corner, desperately trying to keep his body's warmth at survivable levels.
He rushed towards the shuddering mass, his previously unbearable fatigue instantly gone. The young man wasn't even conscious anymore – his eyelids were covered by little frozen spheres and his breath was barely coming out, while the fox was apparently suffering from the extremely cold for his liking weather.
Getting Naruto out of there wasn't an option – he would freeze to death before they ever reached Konoha and Kakashi didn't have enough chakra to teleport them again and again towards the Leaf's safe walls. He carefully examined the surrounding area while embracing the smaller body in a vain attempt to lend some warmth; a fire was out of the question with this insane, unpredictable wind – it would scorch them to ashes before heating them up – and a safer shelter was apparently way too far for them to consider traveling.
He had to make them both survive with what little he had – which was his jounin outfit, Naruto's clothes and their respective body heats. Kakashi's mind went haywire, frantically trying to think of a solution, and finally one came to mind. While he was picking up the freezing man's frame in his arms and retreating to a somewhat less exposed part of the cave, he inwardly prayed that it would work.
Naruto tentatively opened his eyes, relishing the warmth that was covering him whole. The first shock came when he recognized the unmistakable mop of white hair right below his chin; the second when he realized the exact position of their bodies. It seemed that Kakashi had taken his clothes off in order to lend him some of his own precious body heat – but how had he found him in the first place? Had he really insisted on following him to the end of the world?
All those questions and the warm feeling piling up inside his chest instantly disappeared when he touched the epidermis of the man he loved so much – even though Kakashi had dropped his clothes above his back in order to protect himself, the skin there seemed colder than the stones of the cave. Naruto panicked. He couldn't – he couldn't! He couldn't be dead! He immediately placed his fingers to the jounin's neck, looking for a tell-tale pulse. It came a few moments later, weak and barely perceivable, but it meant that the older man was still alive.
He had to get Kakashi to a hospital as soon as possible. Not bothering to dress him up properly, he grabbed the bundle smelling of snow and musk in his arms and dashed off towards Konoha – using the Kyuubi's chakra in order to enhance his speed, much like the night before; although now he was dashing towards the exactly opposite direction.
He was worried sick – Tsunade had been inside the surgery room for half a day now and still no news concerning Kakashi's health had reached him. Naruto was pacing up and down the corridor like a caged animal – if this went on for another hour he would barge in, no matter what the old hag said.
In the meantime, he was being consumed by guilt and self-hatred for allowing such a thing to happen to his most precious person – if he hadn't run off, if he had just listened… If he hadn't been so weak against the cold, if he hadn't rushed towards the forest… His mind was tortured by the endless possibilities of the previous night's alternate outcomes and the worry about his former sensei's survival.
When Tsunade finally came through the door he rushed towards her lap, his eyes full of agony and his mouth full of incoherent questions, all of them concerning the white-haired jounin.
"Will he be alright?" , "Will he live?" , "How is he?" , "Can I see him?" and "Tell me!" were some of the sentences he blurted out without even thinking about it, while clinging to the Fifth's robes. The twitching eyebrow made him slightly back off, but only for a moment – Tsunade could pulverize him to oblivion and he would still be clinging on her robes, waiting for the news of Kakashi's condition.
"He'll live, brat. He had deep frostbites all over his back area and legs, so I had to thaw carefully all these areas in precise temperatures and make sure no cold blood shocked his heart when it started circulating again. He also had mild hypothermia, so I had to heat the rest of him up carefully. But he will live. "
Wild relief washed over him – Kakashi would live. He dashed towards the jounin's room, not bothering to hear Tsunade's voice yelling at him to not disturb the patient.
The older man was lying in a bed, half his face and body covered by a heating blanket and his disheveled white hair making him look paler than he already was – however, his breathing was now steady and Naruto could clearly see that he was going to recover.
Just then, the door opened and a familiar face appeared – a tanned face with a scar along his nose. Before Naruto had decided whether to punch him or leave the two alone however, Iruka raised his hand and pleaded him, his voice a trembling whisper and his chocolate eyes full of remorse and guilt.
"Please, Naruto... Let me explain what Kakashi couldn't last night."
And so, the young man reluctantly sat in a chair near the jounin's bed and heard Iruka's tale. He learned how Iruka and Kakashi had only slept together for lust's sake; how Kakashi had confessed to Iruka that he actually had feelings for Naruto; why the jounin had been such a cold teacher and how he was always keeping an eye out for him. By the end or Iruka's narrating, Naruto had clenched a familiar pale hand tightly and swore never to run away again, the moisture in his azure eyes evident.
Kakashi slowly opened his eyes - he was feeling warm; warmer than he should. For a brief moment he wondered whether he had died but the unmistakable sight of Konoha's hospital ceiling came to view during the next moment, so he ruled that possibility out. Instantly his mind was flooded with the previous night's events and his thought ran to the person whose precious life he had wanted so desperately to save: Naruto. Just then he also felt a warm hand squeezing his own. An awfully familiar warm hand.
He hesitantly turned his head to the side, only to see a blond bundle of joy looking back at him with that fake smile of his – no; that wasn't a fake smile. Naruto was really looking at him affectionately and he was really smiling from the bottom of his heart – what the hell had happened after he had passed out from the cold?
Naruto chuckled; Kakashi looked so adorably lost that he couldn't help but have that warm feeling inside him dwelling up again. For a moment he was tempted to tease the older man, but when he saw his former sensei's pathetic gaze his heart instantly melted away and all that remained was a source of warmth and light. He then slowly lowered his head and prepared himself for what was finally about to come – the confession of his feelings.
"You know, sensei, you scared me to death two days ago, when you almost died from the cold. It made me realize that maybe one day I or you would die and you would never know how I truly feel about you."
He smiled softly and continued, his resolve growing stronger by the hopeful looks the tired jounin would constantly throw his way.
Behind the room's door, the corners of Tsunade's lips twitched upwards. Honestly, those two had been tiptoeing around each other for the longest time now. It was about time they finally talked about their feelings. Emotionally challenged, both of them. Stupid young people. She inwardly thanked the blizzard for ever occurring and stalked away to the nearest sake bar.