Only One Brendan Brady

I remember that day well, the day he left Chester; we were still together or at least as together as we were ever going to be but that's okay I loved him so much that it was good enough for me.

Life without him was not an option for me back then, nowadays I didn't have that choice to make as he left, just like he always did. I didn't even know where he'd gone but later found out through Cheryl that he went back to Ireland to be with the kids.

It turned out Declan had fallen ill again and Eileen said she needed him, there was always going to be something getting in between us, I remember Cheryl saying to me once

"Ste love, some things are just not meant to be"

But I didn't believe that, I still don't.

It's been almost a year without him here, without him strutting around like he owns the village and I miss him, I don't think I'll ever get over him leaving, he didn't even say goodbye. Maybe he couldn't, maybe he just didn't have the guts.

I kept ringing him for a bit after he left, but it always went to voicemail, he'd made his decision and what he says goes and the pain and the heartache I went through, still go through is living proof of that.

Life isn't so bad though, I have my beautiful kids, great friends Amy and Doug and of course I'm my own boss at last! Having a relationship of any kind was the last thing on my mind because he was still here inside my head; I had no room for anyone else and if it was true and he wasn't meant for me, then why did I still think of him every day?I wonder if I'd ever crossed his mind.

Then I met Aiden the similarities between him and Brendan were uncanny, same height, same build, same colour hair and eyes; he even had a little tash and goatee thing going on, not as unique as Brendan's but similar all the same. He even had the same characteristics, the only thing that he didn't have was Brendan's gorgeous, Irish accent.

Of course, looking almost identical to Brendan I was attracted to him immediately. I had been working at the Deli that day when I first noticed him, he was looking at me and made no attempts to hide it, it even made me blush by how intense his stare was; another Brendan trait I also noticed he had.

How could two people be so alike? We got chatting, he seemed really nice, I could tell he was a confident and strong character; I certainly do pick em don't I?

He was here on business for a few months, which kinda suited me and he was staying in a hotel nearby. Part of me only started seeing him because he reminded me so much of Brendan and everyone knew it. But it suited me just fine. He made me laugh again and he wasn't ashamed to be seen out with me, like Brendan was.

Everything was going well with Aiden, it wasn't the biggest love affair of the century but he made me feel wanted again and the sex between us was great, although it was nowhere near as good as it was with Brendan, I still enjoyed it a lot, I even imagined he was Brendan sometimes, how sad is that?

One night after we'd been out for a few beers we headed back to the flat, we sat down with another couple of beers and I noticed he kept texting on his phone a lot, I did try to have a sneaky look but he just shielded his phone which I thought was strange.

Whoever he was texting he didn't want me to see, so when went to the toilet and he left his phone on the sofa, I took the opportunity to have a cheeky look at his messages and guess who they were from? ... Brendan.

My heart was in my throat, what the hell was going on? I only managed to read one text which read

"How is Stephen? Are you keeping an eye on him? BB."

What was this all about? When Aiden was out of the toilet I was on him straight away, demanding to know what was going on; he told me that Brendan had hired him to make sure I was okay, that he'd groomed him into a carbon copy of himself so that I would be attracted to him

"But, Why?" I asked

Aiden told me that Brendan was planning to return to Chester; now that Declan was better he wanted to win me back, pick up where we left off. So why did he get Aiden involved? I didn't get it at all.

Aiden told me that Brendan was sure that I wouldn't be interested, so rather than face rejection, he got someone so alike himself to be with me, that way if I'd fancied Aiden I'd probably still fancy him, god he is more messed up than I thought.

I feel angry but excited all at the same time, so everything with me and Aiden wasn't real? The lengths Brendan goes to get me is unbelievable! He's never gonna let me move on is he?

But then again dating his double wasn't really moving on either. I was taken aback when Aiden confessed to falling for me, it had always been Brendan as far as I was concerned and I found it really hard to let anyone else in, although I did really like him.

He told me that he wasn't giving up on me and that he wanted me for himself, he hadn't planned to fall for me and Brendan would probably kill him if he found out, which he would soon enough.

I told Aiden that I needed a bit of space and that I'd call him tomorrow, I was really confused and didn't know what to think, so now here I am; with choices to make, do I follow my head or my heart? Brendan's not even here and he's still messing with me, do I let him play with me again? Throw me away when he's finished with me? Or do I start something new with Aiden?

These two men who looked the same but were so different on the inside….I'll sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning; but then again, there is only one Brendan Brady after all.

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