I walked through town, marveling at the elegant fountain that spouted contentedly in the middle of the square. Hundreds of people bustled about on their own agenda, carrying goods or talking to friends as they passed by. It was nice to have a break from the constant struggle of diving into danger and falling from normally fatal heights. Yes, thrusting swords around in complex fashions can really take its toll after a few nonstop days of action. But for those few moments of relative peace I relished in the quiet, simple change of scenery.
A few people gave me side ways glances, most likely due to the fact that I was garbed in a slightly unorthodox combination of a green tunic and spandex tights. But hey, if they were the chosen hero they would be dancing around in green attire too. So I simply gave them all polite smiles and flipped my golden blon—no, wait…chestnut brown locks with a practiced flick of the head. In turn they would smile back and continue on with their lives (unless they were a fangirl, in which case they would squeak and proceed spout little hearts all over the place).
And so I continued through the square, noticing things that I had not before when I was running about on all fours just a few days ago: a band playing in the corner, a café serving indistinguishable foods, a glob of brightly colored gum stuck to the pillar…yup, there was a lot to see. But most astonishing of all was a large store, flaunting an advertisement of magical armor and special bombs. I could have stopped dead in my tracks and jumped like a psychotic maniac for joy, the possibility of a wardrobe change seeming amazing at the time.
Instead I simply raised my eyebrows politely and strode like the noble hero I was up the red carpet that lead up to the door (which, by the way, was studded with assorted jewels and diamonds). It felt almost like the handle was beckoning me to turn its golden appendage and open it up to a world of non-green possibilities. I placed my gloved hand on the handle and grasped the circular piece, feeling a strange delight as I turned it. For a moment, life was absolutely wonderful, until…
"Excuse me sir, but I can't let you in," said a voice to my left, and I immediately released the handle and spun around, my gaze meeting a mousy, short man. He looked almost like a butler with his over-the-top tail coat and fancy hat that he continued to pat as if it was of great importance. He smiled from beneath a huge mustache that protruded on either side of his face, and I couldn't help but wonder how much gel he had to use to make it stay like that. "I'm terribly sorry, but the store will not welcome you right now."
I was flabbergasted that this little man would deny me entrance to this store. Did he know who I was? Did he know that I just saved his little behind from the spirit world? Did he know that I was just about the coolest hero to ever be chosen by assorted goddesses to wear this dorky spandex? I was shocked to say the least, but I simply brushed this off as a mere misunderstanding and gave him a polite smile and a flip of the hair. "I'm sure you don't know, but I'm Link for your information. So would you please let me in?" I said, sure that this would explain everything to the little man who continued to pat his hat.
But instead he just gave a weird little grin and shook his head. "I don't particularly care what your name is, sir, but your boots are terribly filthy. I simply can't let you in," he said, his hand continuing to caress his hat as he spoke. "Who knows what the other guests would think it I were to permit such a disgusting traveler into the store? Oh dear me! Such a horrid idea!" he squeaked as he danced about, both of his hands jumping to his hat and rubbing it frantically. It was quite the scene, I must admit, but I was still offended by his audacious comments of my appearance.
"Traveler? I'mLink for pity's sake! Link, the guy who risked his life to rescue damsels in distress and save the land of Hyrule. Link, the guy who mastered swordsmanship in about two seconds and has an immediate understanding of how to use every weapon I come across. Link, the guy who wants to get into this store!" I exploded, feeling my anger get the best of me as the ungrateful man continued to pat his hat, completely unaffected by my words. He simply shook his head again and gave a little chuckle.
"My dear sir! Rules are rules and you are no exception. You could be the queen of Hyrule for all I care. I simply can not permit you to enter this store!" he gave a strange little laugh, and rubbed his hat even harder as if amused by my frustration. I could not stand this little man and his rules.
"I saved the queen of Hyrule! And how do you repay me? You stand here with your silly little butler costume and deny me even a look into the store!" I screamed and stormed off, stopping at the end of the red rug and yelling back. "And stop petting your stupid hat!" I called as he had started up his routine of rubbing his top hat or what ever. He really needed a life.
I couldn't believe the nerve of some people, but some people are just like that, I guess. They never know a hero when they see one right in front of them, spandex and all. I continued to storm for a few angry minutes before I cooled down and slowed, my thoughts replaying the scene. A twinge of guilt welled up in my mind when I thought of how I acted like a spoiled five year old…. Ah well. I'll send the guy an apology card later.
oOo
Author's note: This is not in character, I know, but I hope you liked it (its funnier is you imagine the butler guy with an English/British accent). Reviews more than welcome, Flames a worthless space of time better used to learn molecular physics. Any questions?