Well, I'm definitely not Stephenie Meyer and I'm not claiming to own any piece of Twilight, or any of the incredible characters in the saga…they own me. HAHA

And if you decide to leave a comment, be gentle. I appreciate constructive criticism but keep in mind, this is my first attempt! I hope you all enjoy.

Spontaneous Combustion

"Bella, you have to know I want to. I want to so badly but I simply cannot fathom putting you into a situation where I won't be able to save you from me!"

"Edward, don't start this again. I know you won't hurt me and I'll be good. I promise! We can take it slow and you can be in complete control. If you start to feel like it's too much to handle, we'll back off until you're yourself again! Just please, please." I pleaded. "You have no idea what you do to me!"

Lying on the bed in Edward's room now seemed to constantly end up with this argument. I couldn't stand the idea that something that could help us out so much would drive such a wedge between us. I hated to push him but I know that as stubborn as he can be, I can be worse, much, much worse and mostly when it comes to this discussion. He simply cannot kiss me like that and not expect me to do everything in my power to want more!

"I'm not going further. We can't, not now. Please understand Bella. You're too important to me and I will not lose you. I will not hurt you because I won't do this. Not until you're more durable." He bent his head into his hand and pinched his brow in firm determination. "I love you, but I can't pay the steep price of your life in the monster's hands." His eyes drilled into me from across the bed.

I sighed in frustration. I looked into his golden amber eyes and saw my own defeat in the mirror of his eyes. I wasn't happy about it.

We'd been in his room for nearly an hour now and after he'd kissed my earlobe and made that low, sensual growl from deep in his chest, he had to have known it was only going to lead to this. Ok. So in my hormone-fueled lust, I technically had thrown myself at him and started pushing the ever-so-present boundaries. I didn't even realize I was doing it though. I was so caught up in the moment and with all the wedding stress, I seriously needed a release!

I furrowed my brow and stomped down the stairs. I heard Edward sigh and the mattress springs bounce briefly. Alice and Jasper were just approaching the bottom of the stairs when they stopped in front of me. Alice's giggle tinkled in my ears and it seemed to echo in my sexually-frustrated head. What in the hell did she find so funny?

"Alice, why don't you take Bella out for a little fresh air? I think I need to have a talk with our brother." Jasper looked at Alice with an odd look in his eyes.

Alice lightly grasped my hand and smiled. "Come on. Between you and Edward, you're making Jasper want to shove you two into a room together naked and not let either of you out until you've done the deed."

Oh yeah. Enter the lack of privacy in this household. I sighed in resignation and let Alice pull me through the living room and out the front door. Her graceful gait even seemed to be laughing at me. I was so ashamed and embarrassed.

We started walking down the driveway towards the road and I had to admit, Jasper was right. The crisp autumn air was filling my head with a little more clarity and I was starting to feel terrible for pushing Edward. I should have known that his rejection of my advances was for my own well-being.

My eyes were trained on my feet, one right after the other. I wondered if more equilibrium-balanced people put much thought into the simple actions of walking. The distant sounds of the water flowing in the creek and the jingly tinkling of Alice's bracelets clinking together as she skipped and pranced ahead of me seemed to calm my temper slowly like a balm.

I wondered where we were going exactly. And what was with Alice and her silent giddiness? Damn pixie. I smiled to myself. I am so lucky to have a friend like Alice. She has always seemed to know what I need. Maybe it was because she'd seen this moment happen and knew what a breath of relief it would be to give me some time to clear my head. Maybe it was because Jasper was the one that needed a break from my frustrations. Maybe it was both. I don't know but I was starting to feel grateful.

We continued along the slightly damp pathway in verbal silence and Alice paused at the side of the driveway where a flat-topped rock, about knee-high, protruded out of the ground next to a tree.

She spun slowly and gave a slow nod towards the rock while looking at me. I got the hint. We were the ones actually going to have a talk. I sighed and plopped myself down on the rock with a little more force than I thought. My tailbone protested. Damn it.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I know you guys probably heard most of what happened up there. And you're probably going to tell me that I need to just hold off and be patient. But I can't help it! I feel like I'm going to explode when we get like that. Poor Jasper, I bet he was having an excruciating time." I fidgeted my fingers, clamping them together nervously. "I should just leave and give you guys some peace. I'm so stupid for making everyone miserable by just being around." I poked a pebble with the toe of my shoe in shame.

"Are you done yet?" Alice giggled.

"What?"

"I want you to stop this self-pity. And if you'd give me a second to intervene, I would love to tell you that I think that the path you're trying to persuade Edward to follow is the right one. You guys are getting married in a little over a month. I think his 'boundaries' NEED to be pushed to get the both of you ready for the big night. And if you do it right, life will be much easier until the wedding for both of you."

I looked at Alice like she'd grown another head. Had she just sided with how selfishly I'd behaved back at the house?

Her smile beamed from her like rays from the sun on a dreary, cloudy day.

"Bella, I know that Edward is stubborn. I know he feels that it's for your best interest but I think it's putting a wedge between you two and I think the lines need to be blurred to get him used to you. Think about it back to when you first came to Forks. Your blood has always sent the monster inside him crazy. And to tame that beast, he has spent so much time with you to get himself used to you." She paced in front of me, emphasizing her point with a pirouette." "I think subconsciously, you're trying to do the same thing with the idea of sex but Edward's just so stubborn with the idea that you'll get hurt that he won't take the time to see the benefits or to trust himself. We all love you, and while I know this has been hard on both of you, I want to help. No, we want to help you."

I gave her an incredulous look while my cheeks flooded with heat.

"So what you're saying is everyone wants to help me get laid." I deadpanned. God, this is so embarrassing!

Alice laughed. "Well, we just want you guys happy. That's all we've ever wanted. You've changed Edward in so many ways. For someone to have been so miserable and distant over almost a century, you walked into his life and turned the life on inside of him. He loves you Bella, more than his own life. And while I can sympathize with his fears, I know for a fact," she tapped one slender finger to her temple, "that he just needs to trust himself."

"That's what I've been trying to tell him! You see where it got me. We argued. I hate arguing with him. I can't win this, Alice. I hate making him angry with me for wanting to love him so much." I felt hot tears filling my eyes. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry over this, not again.

Alice slowly walked over and kneeled in front of me. "Bella," she lifted my chin. "There isn't a single bone of anger inside him towards you. He's just as frustrated as you and he's angry with himself for what he is. But this is something he needs to overcome. And I think that after the talk that Jasper is giving him now will help both of you. Edward can't lie to Jasper. He's always let his emotions betray him and that's where Jasper is going to help. I needed to get you out here so he wouldn't overhear our conversation. Bella, we are going to help you." She finished that last sentence with such confidence that I swear Jasper's powers may have rubbed off on her.

"And how do you suppose I'm going to be successful?" I closed my eyes and laughed. I sucked in my breath and grimaced. "You've already seen the outcome, haven't you." I said it more as a statement than a question.

"Maybe." Alice grinned like the Cheshire cat.