A GRIM ADVENTURE TO MORTAL KOMBAT
Mandy and Grim once again found themselves sitting on Billy's couch, while flipping channels in boredom, within his small living room. Mandy, turning her attention away from the television, glanced about the room in observation, "Hey, where's that big-nosed dork at? He should have been back from the kitchen with my Mountain Dew twenty minutes ago."
Grim shrugged callously, "Maybe he got lost in his own house again."
Mandy sighed, "Is it me, Grim, or does it seem like Billy gets stupider everyday?"
Just at the end of Mandy's statement, Billy emerged from behind the living room entrance wearing a strange looking black hat that was coated with a thin edge of shiny silver on its wide and flat brim, "Hey guys, look what I found in Grim's chest down in the basement!"
"The Basement? I told you to get me a soda from the kitchen you idiot!" Mandy scowled.
Grim, however, gasped at the sight of the hat and stood up to reprimand the idiotic boy, "Billy! Take that hat off, immediately!"
Billy giggled, "Oh, you want to see my new hat, Grim? Here you go!"
At that, Billy took off the hat and threw it over to Grim like a Frisbee. But the Grim Reaper, aware of the hat's abilities, screamed in fear, as he had no time to dodge it's blazing speed and was thusly decapitated as the hat continued in its blind direction.
A surprised Mandy took the floor, after witnessing the hat's capabilities, and watched as it ricocheted off the walls of the living room in a wild pattern. Billy's dad, Harold, was eating a pan of pie when he inadvertently stepped into the living room from the kitchen entrance and was suddenly caught across the belly by the hat, causing the chewed pieces of his pie to spill out from his slit abdomen,
"Hey, I was eating that!"
The hat finally finished its rampage when Billy reached his hand up and caught it casually, "Wow, this hat just keeps getting cooler!"
Mandy, raised her head from the carpet and turned to Grim's detached skull, which laid nearby, "Grim, what in the world was that thing?"
The Grim Reaper, however, didn't respond till his flailing and unbalanced body picked up his skull from the ground and sat it once again at the top of his shoulders, "Billy, what have I told you about going into my chest!"
"Uhhh…" Billy moaned as he actually tried to think.
"Just give me that!" Grim yelled as he snatched the hat away from Billy's grasp, "This is not just any regular hat, Billy. This is the bladed hat of the Great Kung Lao!"
"Kung Lao? Sounds like Chinese food." Mandy sneered as she picked herself up.
Grim shook his head, "No, no, no, child. You see, the Great Kung Lao was an ancient warrior who fought and won a deadly Martial Arts tournament called Mortal Kombat that was held a thousand years ago in order to figure out the fate of the world as to whether or not it would be invaded by the unholy hordes of a cruel Emperor from another realm named Shao Kahn."
Mandy raised an eyebrow, "Shao Kahn? Kung Lao? Mortal Kombat? This all sounds like stuff you'd see in a video game."
"Fine. Don't believe me." Grim pouted, "I wish Kung Lao didn't win Mortal Kombat, anyway. At least then I wouldn't be worrying about you rotten kids. "
"So how'd you end up with the hat anyway, Grim?" Billy asked.
Grim shrugged, "Eh, the Great Kung Lao gave it to me as a gift after he died from alcohol poisoning due to a big party that he had the previous night to celebrate his victory at Mortal Kombat."
"That's ironic." Mandy spoke.
"Yup, and he was supposed to be a monk, too." Grim added.
"Cool, now I can just put food into my stomach, literally!" Billy's dad guffawed as he played around with the gash on his belly.
"Um, Harold, you might want to go and check that out." Grim suggested.
"No way, this is the greatest thing to happen to me since T.V. dinner!" Billy's dad laughed.
Just as Grim began to shake his head, a portal suddenly opened up in the middle of the room and a tall, robust man, wearing a Asian rice hat and strange-looking Oriental clothing, stepped out from its swirling purple vortex and stood before Grim, Billy and Mandy.
"Raiden! What are you doing here?" Grim asked.
"Hey Grim, long time no see, eh?" Raiden smiled.
Grim nodded, "Yeah, I believe the last time we met was in Outworld, a thousand years ago… although you were in less sober conditions."
Raiden chuckled, "Yeah, Kung Lao sure did have a great party that night before, I had a hangover the entire week. Too bad he ended up dying though."
"Well, that's what happens when you try to out-chug the Thunder god in a beer contest." Grim smiled before changing his demeanor, "But anyway, what brings you here to Endsville?"
"Well Grim…" Raiden cleared his throat, "…it's just about that time again. Shao Kahn wants to invade the Earthrealm and we got to have another Mortal Kombat, again."
Grim sighed.
Raiden nodded, "Tell me about it. But, uh, the Earthrealm is kind of short of Martial Artists, you know, and I need some fighters to try and protect Earthrealm ASAP!"
Grim rubbed his chin, "Well, uh, I don't think I can really help you there Rai-"
"I'll do it!" Billy interrupted.
"WHAT!" Both Grim and Mandy exclaimed in unison.
"I said I'll do it!" Billy smiled, snatching the bladed hat away from Grim and then placing it on his own head, "With this hat, I can do anything! Including saving the world!"
Grim chuckled nervously, "You'll have to excuse him, Raiden, h-he's an idiot."
Raiden smiled, "No, Grim. I see he has the hat of the Great Kung Lao and his bravery as well. You show promise, young warrior."
"What promise? You've barely just met him." Mandy scoffed.
"Well I am pretty desperate, especially considering that the Mortal Kombat tournament will begin in less than two hours." Raiden replied while peering at his watch.
"Less than two hours! Raiden, you can't be serious!" Grim shouted.
Raiden rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm sorry, procrastination is one of my many bad habits."
"Okay, so what happens if no one participates in this 'Mortal Kombat'?" Mandy asked.
"Then the whole Earth with fall to the yoke of Shao Kahn's slavery and nothing but destruction, toil and death shall exist in this realm for all eternity." Raiden replied.
Mandy sighed with a hint of annoyance, "It's going to be one of those 'days' again."
(30 Minutes Later)
Pud'n, Irwin, Sperg and Mindy, all recruited by Mandy at the last minute, assembled at Billy's front yard in front of Raiden, Grim, Billy and Mandy, outside Billy's house.
"This is it?" Raiden yelled, "This is all the Earthrealm has to offer?"
"Wasn't it you who said the Earth was in short supply of fighters? This is the best that it could come up with." Mandy jaded.
Raiden sighed, "This'll have to do."
"Oh boy, I can't wait to be in Mortal Kombat!" Billy giggled while patting Kung Lao's bladed hat.
"Hold on one second, yo." Irwin interjected, "What's going on here? I thought me and Mandy were going to share an Ice Cream cake and watch Save the Last Dance."
"Get real, doofus…" Mandy snorted, "…I only lied because it was the only way I could get any of you down here."
"So you mean, I'm not getting a lollipop?" Pud'n asked, tearing at the eyes.
"I'm not getting a free copy of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas?" Sperg inquired.
"I'm not going to have Mandy bow down and kiss my feet?" Mindy yelled in disdain.
"No, young warriors. But you are about to go on a quest that will hold the future of all mankind in the balance. If you are to succeed, then you will continue to live your rather pitiful lives in peace. But if you are to lose, then all of you and everyone you love will suffer under the oppression of a merciless overlord named Shao Kahn." Raiden spoke in a loud voice.
"Whoa, I'm beginning to have second thoughts here, yo." Irwin trembled at the voice.
"TOO LATE!" Raiden spoke quickly then summoned a large portal that sucked everyone into it.
When the portal reopened, Raiden and Grim emerged first and landed softly on their feet, followed by everyone else, who, were thrown out to the ground forcefully.
"Where are we, yo?" Irwin asked as he picked himself up and observed the dark surroundings of barren land, debris and stormy black skies.
"Outworld…" Raiden responded, "…it is here that all of you will fight in Mortal Kombat."
"So where are you and Grim going to be during this whole tournament, Raiden?" Mandy asked.
Grim answered for both he and Raiden, "We will be hitched up on some seats watching the action from above in one Raiden's thunder clouds."
Mandy rolled her eyes, "Typical."
"Alright, so were just going to have to beat up a couple dudes to win this thing, huh? Piece of cake for me." Sperg smiled.
"Not so, young warrior. Your opponents are vicious, the wins are decided only in death, and only defeating Shao Kahn can insure true victory for the Earthrealm." Raiden spoke.
"Y-y-you mean we got to fight to the death?" Irwin trembled.
Raiden nodded, "Of course, it's not called Mortal Kombat for no reason you know."
"B-but, I've never killed anyone before." Pud'n sputtered.
"Then today is your lucky day." Grim smiled while patting Pud'n on the back.
"All right, let's just get this over with." Mandy snorted.
Raiden nodded, "Follow me, young warriors."
Raiden then led the small group throughout Outworld's desolate terrain and up to the outskirts of a large, stadium-like Foundry that echoed with the shouting voices and cheers of various creatures within it's rough, dark and moldy walls.
"This is really beginning to creep me out, yo." Irwin gulped
As usual, everyone ignored him and Raiden continued the lead into a wide tunnel entrance that was hewn in one of the Foundry's walls. Leading everyone inside, Raiden and the group approached a large, stone fighting ring as they exited the tunnel and found themselves in the middle of a wide arena that was surrounded by excited spectators in ascending rows of seats.
"Ah, so the Earthrealm showed up after all." A guttural voice echoed from a bulky, muscular man who sat on a high throne in front of the fighting ring. He wore a headdress that was similar to a crossbreed of a skull and Samurai helmet and was clothed in a rather liberating fashion of just boots, a speedo and some skeleton-like armor, "Look who else is here with the Earthrealm, The Grim Reaper! Ha, I bet you couldn't even reap half the souls that Shang Tsung takes!" He tauntingly laughed.
Grim fumed, "That guy is just a cheap knock-off who wants to try and steal my job!"
"Who's that guy?" Billy asked.
"Shao Kahn." Raiden hissed.
"He looks like a DORK!" Billy laughed out loud, causing all the spectators to gasp.
Shao Kahn growled as he stood up from his throne, "NO ONE CALLS THE GREAT SHAO KAHN A DORK! LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!" He cried out, making the spectators roar with frenzy, "EARTHREALM, CHOOSE YOUR FIRST FIGHTER TO DIE!"
Raiden turned to face Billy, Mandy, Irwin, Sperg, Pud'n and Mindy, "Now, young warriors, this is where me and the Grim Reaper must leave you to fight the battle for mankind."
"Hey Raiden, I brought the popcorn." Grim smiled.
"Is it butter?" Raiden asked.
Grim nodded, "Yup."
"Yummy."
With that, Raiden and Grim both poofed away to one of Raiden's thunder clouds above the Foundry's open roof.
"Whatever…" Mandy frowned, "…anyway, one of us has to go fight first. Irwin, you're up."
Irwin gasped, "B-but, why me yo?"
"Because…you're the shrimpiest and least likely to survive, duh." Mindy sneered.
"B-B-But!" Irwin stammered.
"But nothin'!" Sperg interrupted then grabbed Irwin by the collar and threw him into the ring.
"STATE YOUR NAME, MORTAL!" Shao Kahn commanded from his throne as Irwin picked himself up from the ring's dusty stone floor.
"I-Irwin, sir." Irwin replied.
"Very well then…FIRST MATCH, IRWIN VERSUS SHANG TSUNG!" Shao Kahn cheered.
Irwin watched as an extremely ripped Asian man of moderate height stepped into the ring with him, "Ah, I smell the fear in your soul, mortal. It makes me want to take it even more." Shang Tsung smiled.
Irwin trembled, "Cant we just talk about this, yo?"
Shang Tsung replied to Irwin's plea with a kick in his face.
"Yeah, Irwin, get him!" Billy yelled from the sidelines as Shang Tsung began pummeling Irwin.
The nerdy boy, however, found himself barely conscious after only fifteen seconds into the match and Shang Tsung prepared for a final victory. Holding Irwin with one hand by his already tattered shirt, Shang Tsung grinned insidiously into Irwin's bruised face, "Now Irwin…your soul…is mine!"
A glowing green aura soon enveloped Irwin's body, followed by a similar green flow of ether that projected itself from his mouth and into Shang Tsung's body. When it was all over, Shang Tsung tossed away Irwin's lifeless body and was about to walk away from the ring before something began to cramp him deep in his abdomen.
"Wh-What's going on…?" Shang Tsung grunted as he keeled over, "…I-I…gaaaahhhhh!" He screamed while collapsing to his knees. For a second, the entire Foundry, including Shao Kahn became deathly silent as they watched Shang Tsung suffer then slowly recover from his short-lived dilemma and stand up to his feet, once again.
"I feel weird, yo." Irwin's voice spoke out from Shang Tsung's mouth.
"Oh my gosh…" Mandy muttered.
Almost everyone in the Foundry was taken aback and gasped at the sudden turn of events, even Shao Kahn was surprised at the uncanny results but recovered quickly enough to state the outcome of the match, "IRWIN…WINS!"
Grim popped some popcorn into his mouth as he and Raiden reclined in their seats on the thundercloud, "Well what do you know? Irwin actually won and took care of that annoying Shang Tsung for me, eh Raiden?"
Raiden nodded, "Yeah, maybe they have a chance after all."
Grim jolted, "So you were slating for them to lose the whole time?"
"You were thinking they were actually going to win the whole time?"
Grim paused for a moment then shrugged, "Oh well."
Meanwhile, back on the surface, a slightly confused and distraught Irwin wobbled about in his new body around the fighting ring, "Whoa, look at me, yo, I'm a beefcake!"
"Irwin, get your butt back here!" Mandy shouted from the sidelines.
Irwin nodded and staggered his way back to his friends behind the sideline.
"Wow, Irwin, cool body!" Billy grinned.
"Yeah, your other one wasn't half as sexy as this new one…" Mindy cooed, "…maybe I just might give you my number."
Irwin began to blush, "Y-you mean it…?"
"Alright, alright, enough of all this! We've only won just one battle. Mindy will be up next." Mandy spoke.
Mindy scoffed, "I don't wanna go next. I'm way too pretty to fight."
Mandy looked at Sperg, "Sperg…?"
The chubby bully understood Mandy's gesture and grabbed Mindy by the collar then threw her into the ring.
"STATE YOUR NAME, MORTAL!" Shao Kahn once again inquired from his throne as Mindy fell into his ring.
"Mindy, the prettiest thing to ever come out of Endsville." Mindy smiled.
Shao Kahn snickered, "Oh really? Then allow me to pair you up with the ugliest thing to ever come out of Outworld…THE NEXT MATCH SHALL BE MINDY VERSUS REPTILE!"
A freakish burly and green reptilian warrior flipped into the fighting ring from Shao Kahn's sideline and hissed as it approached Mindy. But Mindy, being the prude snob that she was, stood aghast at Reptile's presence and crossed her arms, "Eww, I'm not fighting you, you're ugly!"
Reptile, however, took advantage of Mindy's prideful vulnerability and vomited a mass of green viscous goop all over her body that left her a smoking, standing skeleton when it all ran off.
"REPTILE WINS!" Shao Kahn yelled.
"Mindy's dead!" Pud'n screamed before he began to hyperventilate nervously.
"Yeah…" Mandy added with wide eyes, "…this must be what joy feels like."
Shao Kahn watched as Reptile casually walked off the ring before turning his attention to the other Earthrealm fighters, "CHOOSE THE NEXT VICTIM!" He shouted.
"That's it, I'm tired of waitin' here behind the sidelines! I'm going in!" Sperg yelled as he jumped onto the ring, shoving away Mindy's skeleton as he stood in the middle of the ring and addressed Shao Kahn, "Hey you! The name's Sperg, got that! Don't even try to take me for a wimp like those other losers!"
Shao Kahn smiled, "Ah, a feisty one…very well. THE NEXT MATCH SHALL BE SPERG VERSUS MILEENA!"
"Mileena…?" Sperg scrunched his face, "…sounds kinda of girly."
At that moment, a tall, beautiful, slender figured woman entered the ring, clad in rather revealing purple-colored apparel with a matching purple cloth that covered the lower portion of her nose, mouth and face. Sperg began to blush at the sight of her and fumbled with his hands behind his back as Mileena approached him.
He noticed a small dandelion that had grown through the tiled bricks of the fighting ring and picked it up before presenting it to his female opponent, "Here…this is for you."
Mileena showed no emotion to gift but still received it warmly enough, "Little boys can be so sweet…" She cooed making Sperg blush more, but then she suddenly removed the cloth from her face to reveal the monstrous mouth that she so deceptively covered and roared so viciously at him that he screamed like a girl.
Paralyzed by surprise and fear, Sperg could do nothing as Mileena lunged at him with a mouth wide open and gobbled him up in one swallow before belching loudly then giving off a malicious smile, "…which is why they taste so good."
"All that and she still maintains her figure." Shao Kahn chuckled.
"Now Sperg is gone!" Pud'n yelled, once again.
"Get a grip, Pud'n!" Mandy shouted at the distressed boy, "One or more of us were bound to go anyway."
Billy nodded, "Yeah, Pud'n, don't worry, for I shall avenge them with my cool, new hat!" He exclaimed, puffing up his chest as he turned to enter the fighting ring. Mileena, meanwhile, had walked off the ring and a short, rugged man with a glowing red eye replaced her.
"STATE YOUR NAME MORTAL!" Shao Kahn hissed at Billy.
"Billy!" He replied back.
"THE NEXT MATCH SHALL BE BILLY VERSUS KANO!" Shao Kahn yelled, once again.
"Billy, eh mate? Funny name for a kid with a funny hat." Kano chuckled with a gruff Australian accent.
Billy frowned, "Oh yeah! We'll nobody makes fun of my hat!"
At that, Billy took off his hat and chucked it at Kano, slicing the murderous Aussie in half at the torso before the hat revolved, in a circular motion, back to Billy's hand.
"The hat of Kung Lao!" Shao Kahn exclaimed in surprise, "I haven't seen that annoying thing since the first Mortal Kombat a thousand of years ago! But how did a runt like him come in possession of it!"
"I found it in my basement, thank you." Billy replied grudgingly as he placed the hat back on his head and stuck his tongue out at Shao Kahn before returning back to the sidelines.
"I never thought I would say it, but…good job, Billy…" Mandy congratulated her best friend at his return, "…you've evened our odds two to two."
"Told ya I could do anything with this hat." Billy smiled.
Mandy rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Pud'n you're up next."
Pud'n shook his head frantically, "N-no, I-I cant!"
Mandy sighed and reached into her dress pocket then pulled out a piece of butterscotch, "You see this butterscotch, Pud'n?"
Suddenly all Pud'n's distress vanished as he became mesmerized at the sight of candy, "Yeah…"
"Do you want it?"
"Yeah…" He salivated.
Mandy chucked it into the ring, "Go get it!"
Sparing no time, Pud'n leapt into the ring in a single bound and popped the candy in his mouth.
"STATE YOUR NAME MORTAL!" Shao Kahn yelled, frightening Pud'n.
"P-p-p-pud'n…" He stuttered.
Shao Kahn gave a nod, "THE NEXT MATCH SHALL BE…PUD'N VERSUS GORO!"
Suddenly, a gigantic beast of a creature marched its way into the ring, possessing astounding height, ridiculous muscle mass and an imposing set of four arms. This creature known as Goro glowered at Pud'n, who found himself frozen in fear, as he made its way toward him.
Barely managing to put out a scream, the butterscotch in his Pud'n's mouth got slightly lodged in his throat, when he tried, and the young boy quickly made himself cough it up on the ground in front of him. Goro, however, never noticed the chewed up piece of candy, made slippery by Pud'n's saliva that lay in front of his right foot and as he took one more casual step, his sole landed on the butterscotch piece causing him to lose his footing and trip backwards, awkwardly, landing with his full body weight on his neck.
Then, with a painful snap, it was all over. Goro's huge body laid sprawled on the floor, lifeless, and Pud'n stood alone on the fighting ring as the victor.
"Oh come on!" Shao Kahn screamed frustratingly.
"What are the odds!" Grim laughed beside Raiden on the thundercloud.
The spectators, however, loved every bit of the short-lived mayhem and roared with excitement as they cheered, "PUD'N! PUD'N! PUD'N!"
But Pud'n, overwhelmed by all the cheering and attention, began to cry, needlessly, in the middle of the ring.
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Shao Kahn fumed as he interrupted the cheering, "I WILL TAKE CARE OF THESE EARTHREALM SCUM…MYSELF!"
Jumping off from his throne and landing in the fighting ring, Shao Kahn glared at the surviving Earthrealm fighters standing behind their sideline and pointed his finger at one of them, "You…"
"M-Mandy, I think he's pointing at you." Irwin stammered.
Mandy squinted her eyes and deepened her scowling brow as she quietly accepted Shao Kahn's challenge and stepped into the ring with him, "You want a piece of me…? Well come and get it!"
"Gladly…" Shao Kahn smiled before charging head on at Mandy.
Mandy, however, stood calmly as Shao Kahn enclosed in on her, waiting for the moment to strike.
Coming in, full speed, at extremely close range, Shao Kahn cocked his fist all the way back as he prepared to unleash a devastating blow upon the head of his short, blonde-haired opponent. But just as his fist was preparing to travel downwards, a sharp pang between his legs stopped him, halfway.
"As a 6'5" male fighting in close combat against a 4'3" girl with a much shorter and faster reach, you should've known to wear a cup, especially in a speedo." Mandy sneered as she lowered her short leg from Shao Kahn's groin.
"B-But, I-I'm Shao Kahn…I-I c-cant be…defeated…" Shao Kahn sputtered before collapsing sideways to the ground, curling himself in a fetal position as he held his crotch.
"YAY! MANDY BEAT SHAO KHAN! WE WON! WE WON!" Irwin and Billy exclaimed in unison as they jumped up and down while holding each other. Pud'n, however, hadn't even stepped off the ring the whole time and still stood crying, for no apparent reason.
Raiden and Grim suddenly appeared before Mandy in a flash of lighting and congratulated her for the Earthrealm victory, "Good job, Mandy, you have now insured peace for centuries to come in the Earthrealm." Raiden smiled.
"Peace? Who ever said I wanted peace?" Mandy scoffed then walked over to Shao Kahn's body, took off his helmet and placed it on her own head, "As the victor of Mortal Kombat, I want to rule all the realms in Shao Kahn's place!"
The sky suddenly starting flashing more violently with lightning and various portals began opening up throughout the arena, releasing various hordes of Shao Kahn's armies into the arena and throughout the Foundry. The spectators from throughout the arena seats began screaming horror as the terrorizing armies ran amuck.
"BOW TO ME!" Mandy yelled amidst all the chaos.
Raiden and Grim, however, had taken the opportunity to teleport themselves as well as Irwin, Pud'n and Billy out of the Foundry as the mayhem began to ensue.
"Well, I guess I should have seen that one coming." Grim sighed.
"Yeah…yeah." Raiden groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm gonna get so fired from my job."
"We'll look at the bright side, Raiden, at least I still got this cool hat!" Billy smiled.
Raiden shrugged, "Oh well, since the Earth is about to experience Armageddon, who's up for some quick Taco Bell before it all happens, my treat!"
"Oh, oh, oh, we are!" Grim, Pud'n and Billy all yelled in unison.
"Think they got any souls, yo? Ever since I've gotten this body, I've been having this strange craving for some." Irwin spoke.
THE END