"Forever it's you
forever in me-
-ever the same"
It wasn't the cold of nighttime that hung so heavily over him, as he watched the chaos unfold before his very eyes… No, it was a chill evoked by the figure ablaze with fury…a woman of beauty and warmth, the woman he loved.
The woman he had to destroy.
With a final sigh, he started towards her.
You were holding me like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you, but I'm telling you now…
Had it really been so recently they had shared their first true kiss; that, mere hours after that he had been mourning her loss? Now, she was back, and his heart had never been so torn.
He knew what he had to do- her power was unstoppable now…only he could get close enough to her to put it to an end. But why…?
Why me? He thought as the first wave of pain came crashing into him. He cried out more out of shock than from the pain, as his skin was ripped from his body. Nevertheless, it regenerated, though the pain continued, intensifying as he drew closer. He could see her face clearly, despite the distance separating them… It wasn't Jean Grey. No, it couldn't be- the Jean he knew was still in there, fighting! Jean could win…maybe she could win, and he wouldn't have to do anything. Come on, Jean- fight it!
You be needing me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure.
"You know… Jean was always…hesitant about her powers…she always felt like she was left behind." Why were the dead man's words echoing through him now, of all times? He cried out louder, falling to his knees as his chest was ripped open and he realized this would not end happily after all.
Then just finish it! He cried out in his thoughts, gasping and looking up at her fierce profile. If it weren't for his "gift", it would all be over…maybe it still could be. His heart…so vulnerable now, was just like any others.
Rip it out, Jean! He screamed. Take it! It was always yours! It was always yours…
His mind and body protested every move forward he made- why couldn't his gift just disappear? Just for a second, so he wouldn't have to go through with this… Not Jean…not Jean…
Jeans features came into sharper relief. The fiery eyes of the Phoenix stared down at him, empty, black, they didn't see the man whose heart was being broken with every move he made that brought them closer…brought her within harm's way. Still, he forced himself to surge forward, his skin being torn away from bone with every step. He healed too fast to bleed…how he wished it would end! If it just became too much- maybe if he blacked out, all this would disappear.
Not Jean…
He remembered her features exactly; they seemed so familiar, it was like looking at an old friend. The way her entire face would light up when she smiled, the ways her eyes danced in the light, how her sadness was contagious, and all he wanted to do was make her happy. And in all their time of knowing each other…he'd never said those three words… Perhaps that was what bothered him most, aside from the fact that rather than joy and pleasure, all Jean Grey seemed to be showing was merciless rage, sightless violence- did she even recognize him?
He could hear another cry of pain- this one more terrible than the first few, one associated only with pure agony. It took a few moments before he realized that the screaming was coming from his mouth. He gasped, forcing his gaze to remain on her, and her alone, trying, fighting desperately- to see the Jean Grey he knew… She was so beautiful…polite and persistent. She was a fighter, yet delicate in so many ways. If she could just fight…this…
She was barely ten paces away, and that's when his chest was ripped open. It was excruciating- whatever small fragments of memory he had of the agonizing, infamous Weapon X program seemed like nothing compared to this…yet his eyes never left hers, even as his skin was ripped apart, his veins torn, his heart left aching…
C'mon…Jean…finish it… He begged, taking the last few strides towards her. Save yourself, please… "Please…" He breathed, but even he could not hear it.
It was around then, cringing as his face became marred with gashes that healed almost abruptly, that he could feel the intense heat coming from her that had been absent when he was so far away. Yes, that was another thing about her- the warmth she spread. It was so welcoming, like a youth might welcome a dancing fire after a day out in the snow. Innocence was gone now, though, replaced by a terror beyond anything that should exist. he had to do it…he really had to do it…
You should've ended it… He choked inwardly, standing upright in front of her and looking deep into her blazing eyes. Please…don't make me do this, Jean…not to you… There might still be time. Her face, so hard to recognize as the face that had once belonged to Jean Grey, continued to show an assortment of emotions he couldn't begin to place. Did she recognize him yet? Could he still say what should have been said so long ago? The pain that had been threatening to overtake him was numbed, cruelly, almost by what happened next.
When Jean Grey, the center of his world finally spoke, her words were venomous.
"You would die for them?"
How much pain was one person supposed to bear? There she stood, radiant in her reign of fury, her power limitless…her hold over him all the more stronger as he realized how much time was against him. And her words…her words…so icy and malicious, could they really be hers? Jean…what happened to Jean? What've you done to her? He suddenly hated the Phoenix- all the pain Jean had been caused because of it, all the suffering- for making his heart tear apart and burn ruthlessly. It was the Phoenix that should be punished- not Jean! She was just one person- this unholy force was too much for her, he realized that now. Why did it have to be Jean…? Why couldn't he have just collapsed right there, fallen into the warm embrace…the warmth was still reminiscent of her- no, can't think like that! He had to think in a way that would end this…since she had been unable to end him first…
He kept his hands stiff, fighting off the trembling that threatened to overtake him, trying to keep his words strong- they were honest, after all.
"No Jean…" He began, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper. Die for them? No… "Not for them…for you." The warmth did not intensify as much as it became more familiar, as recognition suddenly sprouted behind those beautiful eyes…the eyes he was supposed to look into and feel only joy. "For you." The eyes he looked at were completely hers.
Her entire expression changed, but his pain only intensified. Now he would be looking into her eyes, the eyes of Jean Grey, when he had to…
"Save me." Her voice trembled- a sound he had never heard in it before. It was horrible to listen to- not from Jean! You should have only felt joy… He thought miserably. Joy….I could have given you, if only we were given time. Her voice shook him, and with a last uncontrollable gasp, he said, clearly:
"I love you."
You're tiding me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same.
Call on me
And I'll be there for you
And you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
forever in me
Ever the same…
Forever with you
forever in me…
…ever the same.
A blanket of silence fell, thick and heavy, over the entire world. Everything froze, air was replaced with ice, blood became fire, tranquility became silent chaos.
Jean's eyes widened and she gave a short quiet gasp as the sharp adamantium blades plunged into her. Her body tensed. Yet, just before the life left her countenance, her eyes met his, and she smiled. 'Thank you.' She seemed to say…before her eyes closed slowly and she went limp.
Despite the second wave of dread he felt as he realized how cold her skin already was, he was able to hear a long scream of pain- who else were they losing to this battle? Not another…please, not another… Whoever it was, they sounded as if they were being tortured. He would go and investigate, but he needed to be with Jean now; a small, masochistic part of him kept insisting that she still needed him, lying limp in his arms. The screaming continued, and it took another moment before Logan realized that it belonged to him. And that meant…that deep down, he knew…
You really are gone…Jean…I'm so sorry.
Time passed- it always does. The way it appears to pass is the only thing that changes.
In the end, was it just another mistake?
Just another pointless heartbreak?
She wouldn't want that, now would she? No…
No.
It was together that they fell under the stars- and forever was all that mattered in the end.
((So, what did you think? Reviews are completely welcome, and shall be replied to upon reading. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! As you can tell, I support Logan/Jean as a pairing and am willing to hear feedback. Thanks again! Song (c) Rob Thomas, X-Men (c) Marvel))