Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC it belongs to Bisco Hatori
I'm scared.
It's been one month. One month, and I'm already forgetting him. Him, my brother, my twin. It gets harder everyday and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop it.
Sometimes, I sit alone and close my eyes. I try to remember the melodic sound of his voice and how whenever he smiled it was enough to make me smile too, even when all I wanted to do was cry. But, now everything about him seems so far away. I wonder if the memories I'm thinking are real or if they're just a creation from my own imagination.
Is this what happens when someone you love dies? Do they eventually just fade away until everything about them is just one huge blur? How do you stop something like this? God, please someone tell me how to reverse this.
I'm scared.
I don't want to forget him!
My numb fingers wrap around the doorknob to our...my room. I haven't been in there since that day. And now...
With a shaky breath I open the door.
Everything is exactly how we left it. Untouched, even by the maids.
With a grim face I take my first painstakingly slow steps into the room. The bed is unmade, books are strewn haphazardly on the floor, and Hikaru is nowhere to be found.
Finally the tears fall.
It should have been me. We were twins, exactly the same, so, why? Why was Hikaru the unlucky one?
My legs buckle and I collapse. Somehow, through the haze of unrealism I'd made it onto our bed. Tears blind my vision and I swear I can feel him next to me. Maybe he was crying too. He should be, it's his fault I'm such a mess.
I pull his pillow close and crush it to me, hoping that if I pretend long enough the pillow will transform into the warm body of my brother. Then, everything would be okay again. But nothing happens and the reality of it all hurts worse than any physical pain I've ever felt.
"Come on, Kaoru!"
A boy around five or six turned mid-run to smile back at the identical face of his younger brother. Said boy had now twisted his face in a grimace and closed his eyes in what seemed like concentration. But it didn't look like that was helping any. He'd only managed to make himself look stupid and unable to see.
"If you lose you have to tell mommy you want to try on one of her dresses!"
It was only then that Kaoru decided to open his eyes and finally speak up for himself. "But that's not fair, Hikaru! You started early! You cheat-"
That last of his sentence was cut off by a loud thump that was then followed by a yelp of pain.
The older boy froze and ran back to kneel next to his fallen brother. His knee was bleeding but it wasn't that bad, only a small cut. From the way Kaoru was crying though it seemed like it must've hurt much more than it looked. But then again, Kaoru was always the more sensitive of the twins.
Hikaru held out a small hand to his younger brother but Kaoru didn't even look up. He was only concentrating on nursing his now burning knee.
"Kaoru..." Tear-filled eyes looked up at him and he held out his hand once more. This time the offer was taken.
He pulled his brother onto his feet, lightly dusted him off, and then gave him a bright grin as if the smile alone would take away the pain in his brother's leg. And for a second it might have, if Kaoru hadn't been reminded of it the next time he tried to walk.
"Don't cry, Kao-chan. It's not that bad see."
"I-It h-hurts..."
"Here." Hikaru said hoisting the younger onto his back. "If you don't walk on it it doesn't hurt as much, right? So don't cry anymore, okay."
Kaoru nodded and lifted a hand to dry his moist eyes.
"I-I...lost. Does that mean I still have to wear a dress?"
Hikaru cast a glance upwards, bringing a finger to his lips in thought momentarily before shifting his eyes over to the garden they had agreed would be the finish line.
"If we both get there together no one loses, right?"
Kaoru nodded, confusion clouding his eyes. "But we can't both win..."
Hikaru's cheeks puffed out slightly.
"I-I can change the rules if I want!" He stuttered, obviously flustered by his brother's keen observation. "Or do you want to wear that dress?"
Kaoru leaned his head against his brother's shoulder and shook his head no. But then raised it again quickly when he realized Hikaru's grip was slipping and they seemed to be sinking with every new step they took.
"You're gonna drop me..."
"No, I'm not." Hikaru's grip tightened and his back straightened slightly. "Don't worry, Kao-chan! I'm not gonna let you get hurt ever again!"
It's been ten years, and that was one of the first promises Hikaru ever made to me. But, how many more, like that one, are going to be broken in the future?
"K-Kaoru-sama?" I don't move. "Kaoru-sama, are you alright?"
Raising my head only slightly, I turn to address the maid. But before I can speak an object to the right catches my eye.
A small black tape.
And in Hikaru's own messy handwriting was my name written along the side.
With newfound energy I'm up in seconds, tape in hand and hurriedly looking for our old Walkman.
"Kaoru-sama, should..I call for someone?" The maid asks.
"Leave." The order was harsh, but nowadays caring about how others felt was the very last thing on my mind. She leaves and holding my breath I plug the headphones in and wait.
"Let's play a game, Kaoru."
"It won't be too hard. But, if you get stuck I won't be able to help you like I usually do." The voice pauses, "The rules are simple. I've hidden four more tapes just like this and your job is to find them! Each one will have a message for you and a clue to where the next one is. Don't give up! The first clue is: Snow."
Thanks for reading! If you have time please review and let me know what you think or if you see anything odd. The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get time to work on it. School may get in the way, but I promise it'll get up sometime soon.