Christine the Retard

by Rina

Christine the Retard

Was a really frigid bitch.

But poor Erik was unaware of this,

And became severely obsessed without a hitch.

Christine the Retard

Couldn't speak up for herself

So Erik had to do it instead

With lessons that helped her gain fame and wealth.

Then one patron-ridden Gala night

Raoul came along.

"Christine sure was ugly before

But now the sight of her makes me wanna get some more!"

Then how Raoul pursued her

Erik shouted out with rage

"Raoul with your ego so big,

I'm gonna slaughter you like a pig!"

But for six months he lurked there

In his Opera house next to the lake.

For Christine's betrayal

Was almost more than he could take.

But at the Manager's Masquerade

Erik came to say

"Christine with your fop so dumb,

To your music lessons you will still come!"

Then she was scared shitless

'Cause she knew she'd screwed up bad.

She never thought the guy whose face scared her witless

Was sensitive enough to get mad.

So she ran off to Dad's grave

But he was a decomposing corpse

She wished she could talk to him

Without having to be an otherworldly force.

Then Erik came to the grave

In her dad's disguise.

Christine almost believed him

But Raoul had to stop her and act like he was remotely wise.

The Phantom got fed up with that

So he just stole Christine.

(Not before she'd publicly ripped off his mask

In one of his opera's scenes.)

Christine was pretty pissed off

And she let the Phantom know:

If he hadn't kidnapped her,

She would surely go!

Then Raoul crashed into the lair

Abandoning all subtlety,

He shouted loud enough to wake Christine's father

"Let me in to see her please!"

The Phantom invited him in the lair

Raoul the fop rushed inside.

Then how the Phantom loved it

For Raoul was punjabed and would soon die!

Christine realized she had to think

And an idea penetrated her big curly head.

"Maybe if I take advantage of his love

He'll let me and Raoul wed!"

So then Christine kissed him

And the Phantom let them go free.

Christine the stupid Retard,

Your insolence went down in histoooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!