"Mudbloods and Mudmen and Mutants they're all the same! And then add werewolves to the list", said Edward.

Vole deMort, Ariel, and Opal all nodded. A slight hissing noise came from the mermaid in the fishtank, as they all sat beneath the highrock, their tails swishing back and forth in anger. Tigerstar purred in agreement. Odysseus hid under a sheep (aka a fluffy white cloud on legs) and escaped. Harry was sweeping with a broom acting, dressed as Argus Filch, and Firestar, posed as Mr. Norris. Artemis(the male one) rolled his eyes, as he observed their ridiculous plan in action. After all the plan was made up by Bella. As if he had read Artemis's thoughts, Rushton said "Forget about the girl and get a life." Artemis shrugged and went to Elspeth for comfort. Meanwhile, the sadistic Peter Wiggin had discovered the sheep and beat it. Hence, Odysseus was exposed. RAWRRRRRRRRRRR. Then the fighting broke out. Artemis tugged at Vole deMort's whiskers. "AHH, WHERE DID THE ADDER COME FROM?"

"Basilisk." Vole deMort corrected.

Harry snorted, as a warning hiss sounded from his scar. Holly looked up in shock. "Foaly are you getting this?"

"Yes. The Mudblood is almost as bad as the Mudboy Artemis. "

Mulch pushed his way to the screen, baring his teeth in agreement, and tugging at his own whiskers. He was interrupted by a horrific squealing, coming from a man in a purple cloak. Dr. Kronski? Or Dameondore? It was quite a challenge to tell from this distance. "Oooo! Did I hear someone say Misfit? Is that another word for Monster? Or therefore animal? IT MUST BE KILLED FOR WASTING THOUGHT SPACE!"

Yup, that's Dameondore.

"Harry, my favorite student! How are you?"

Harry looked up, and paused from his beating of James and Victoria with his broom. He had found them watching videos in an old ballet studio. "O I'm great mate. 'Sup?"

"Ooooo! Me as in Mulch, would fancy some of the vole from the Vole deMort."
"Dwarf! Avada Keadavra" Contrary to common belief, this spell did not kill Mulch much, but rather conjured the Grendel (he who shall be feared, must be feared, and will be feared).

Ariel cackled as he watched Mulch swallow Foaly in fear. Bella screamed, and fainted, as she tripped over an ankle adorned with the tattoo of an eye. COUNT LOAF!

Violet came and held her ribbon aloft, ready to fight. Vole deMort, who, contrary to common belief, was not bald, asked, "May I borrow that?"

Not waiting for an answer Vole deMort grabbed the ribbon, as Peter Wiggin chased him: "LET ME HAVE IT LET ME HAVE IT. One day when your dear Harry isn't by your side to protect you, I'll kill you and you'll have forgotten about this conversation. Please give me the ribbon now."

In that case!.... Vole deMort turned the ribbon into a horcrux, ensuring his nine lives. Tigerstar, who contrary to belief, was alive and growling with his nine lives. Firestar screeched and pretended to lay on the ground in defeat. He whimpered but upon noticing everyone staring, turned it into a whistle. Ariel pulled out a Beforetime WeaponMachine, which happened to be Holly Short's, who contrary to belief is not short, LEP helmet, and shoved it on Firestar's head. The whistling ceased abruptly. Harry shouted Auguamenti! Which came from his pocket NOT his wand, and seeped through the helmet causing causing it to pop off Firestar's head, the mermaid jumped from her tank and attempted to fit in the helmet. "All hail, the almighty Ariel"

"YOU IMPOSTER!" said Ariel the redhead.

"YOU IMPOSTER" said Ariel the blonde.

Odysseus was relieved that Peter was otherwise occupied. He took his bow, aimed it at who he thought were the suitors of his wife (everyone), and….

TO BE CONTINUED