Ah, the Dean quadruple feature. From 1999. So if you think it's horrible, well, back off! It was pretty hard to write it.


The Psything

This is a story about my friend, Erik. He's Sabrina's cousin. He's also a researcher. Sabrina always tells Erik had Psychic powers. I was there. I said, "The only kind of powers he has are Austin Powers!" Heheh. But, I was in an alternate universe for making that joke, so I'm temporarily dead. His best friend is Mario. When I get back, I'll get him.

Mario: I'm very impressed, Erik.
There they were, sitting on their what seems like Russian butts in Erik's lab.
Erik: Yes. I have created Charcolt, Charizard's evolved form.
Mario: It's time for lunch.
Erik: Yeah. I'm hungrier than Britney Spears in an eating contest.
Well, they went to lunch, but forgot to lock a cage containing a Mew. Mew crept slowly, trying to find a way out of the lab. Then, some chemicals spilled on him. Mew suddenly transformed into a Psychic horror. I gotta tell you, it was creepier than Patch Adams. Mew started to destroy things. With his rage bigger, he grew!
Meanwhile.........

Mario: What was that?
Erik: I dunno.
Mario: We gotta check it out.
Erik: Wait a sec.
Erik took one last bite of the retired Subway sandwich and stuffed it in his pocket.
Mario: Let's go!

They ran to the lab and saw a gigantic monster, destroying experiments. Especially the popcorn machine.

Erik: What is that?
Mario: It looks like Scary Spice.
Erik: No, it looks like Jay Leno.

The Psything busted a hole in the wall. The one I paid for.
Mario: It's loose!

Although it sounded like "Want booze!" The Psything rampaged through Saffron City. Erik and Mario went to Sabrina's gym, asking for help, but Sabrina was too weak.

Sabrina: It's up to you. Use Psychic powers....

Sabrina collapsed. Suddenly, a huge hand grabbed Erik. The Psything raised him up in the air.

Mario: Use your Psychic powers!!!

Erik tried, concentrating in psychics. Yes! It worked! But, it did not harm the Psything. Then, Erik used a Psywave. A bunch of Psychic Pok'emon appeared!!!

Erik: Ok, everyone, Psyblast!!!

Erik and the psychic Pok'emon attacked the Psything. Then, after 10 minutes of straight powers, the Psything collapsed and disappeared, leaving poor Erik to fall to his doom. But, a psychic shield broke his fall. Erik looked around. The Psychic force came from...

Erik: Mario?!
Mario: I just found this out.

After that, Mario and Erik were the heroes of Saffron City, who saved Saffron from.... The Psything.

I'm still temporarily dead. I'll come back in a decade or so to choke both of them.

THE END


Zapdos Vs. Missingno.


Yet another beautiful day in Cerulean City, where the Power Plant was. Dan, who was on his Pok'emon journey, was excited about the rare and exclusive Zapdos. Meanwhile ... on Cinnibar Island.......

James: Jesse ... we shouldn't mess with computers, you know.
Jesse: Shut up, James! I'm trying to gain access to the weird glitch Pok'emon.
Meowth: Why?
Jesse: The glitches are rare.
James: Oh. What was that?
A large hole busted through the door, revealing some familiar faces.
Cassidy: So, we meet again.
Butch: Yeah!
Jesse: What are you doing here?
Butch: To get the glitch, Missing--- AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
James: Missing what?
Cassidy: NO!!!!!!
James: Missingno? Is that a kind of French word that we're dumb???

Team Rocket was suddenly blown away by water. Out from the computer came...

Butch: Missingno!

The Rockets now disappeared, like Ginger Spice with the Spice Girls.

Team Rocket: Look's like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!!!!!!!

The Missingno flew into the air, heading to the Power Plant. Back in the Power Plant....

Dan: Great! I caught a Pikachu, an Ellectabuzz, and a Magneton!

Dan stared at a yellow Pok'emon, that looked like a thunder bird.

Dan: Pok'edex, analyze!

Dan took out his Pok'edex.

Pok'edex: Zapdos... a thunder-type Pok'emon. No further information available.

Dan: I gotta catch it!

Suddenly, Missingno popped out of nowhere, trying to attack Zapdos. Zapdos, as quick as Antz became non -- famous, used a Counter attack on Missingno.

Dan: What's with these?

The battle raged on and on and on, but no one won, until..... Missingno attacked Zapdos in the air. Zapdos hit the ground, Dan threw an Ultra Ball at it. 1....2.......3... Alright!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan: Yes, a Zapdos!!!!!!!!!

Missingno was still attacking, so Dan thought quick and used a Max Revive on it. Suddenly, another hole appeared, revealing Team Rocket, Jesse, James, Meowth, Butch, Cassidy, and Raticate.

Butch: Little boy, hand over Zapdos!
Dan: Never!
Jesse: Then we'll have to beat it out of you!!!!
Dan: How?
James: Simple.
Cassidy: We control Missingno!
Dan: What?
James: The author cut that out for a surprise!

James pulled a joystick that controlled Missingno.

Dan (thinking): Hmm.... Zapdos is not good enough but...
James: Why not use all your Pok'emon?
Dan: OK, Zapdos, Magneton, Pikachu, and Ellectabuzz, go!!!!
Butch: Ha! Your puny Pok'emon will be crushed!
Dan: Oh, yeah? Everyone, Thunderbolt!!!!!!!!!

All of the Pok'emon used Thunderbolt, paralyzing Missingno.

Dan: Now, Thunderwave!!!!!

The Pok'emon did what they were told. The Thunderwave pushed Missingno into Team Rocket! They flew into the air, with the glitch.

Team Rocket: Look's like Team Rocket's blasting off again!

Then they disappeared. Dan returned the Pok'emon, and was one step closer... 2B a master.


The Mysterious Mewtwo

Ahhhh..... another perfect day in Cerulean City..... yesterday. Mario was there, sitting in Pok'emon Tech. It was a raining, pouring like tears off Clinton's face after he found out he finished all of the cheeseburgers in McDonald's. His teacher, Mr. Marcial, was exploding with great news.

Mr. Marcial: Great news, class. Three of you are going to the Unknown Dungeon!!!!!
Class: Yes!!!!!!!!!
Mario (thinking): I'll never get picked. I never even got to go in the Power Plant last year....
Mr. Marcial: OK. First up, Ashley Robbins!

Mrs. Robbins stepped up to the Zero One shuttle that arrived. It was huge.... bigger than Chris Farley, which made it unbelievable.

Mr. Marcial: Next, Chris Mancini!!!
Mario: One spot left.

Chris also went in, proudly.

Mr. Marcial: Last... oh my. Mario!!!
Mario: Huh? Me?
Mr. Marcial: Yes.
Mario: Are you sure it doesn't say "Maria"?
Mr. Marcial: Shut up and get in.
Mario: What?!
Mr. Marcial: Get in, you little- - -

Mr. Marcial's sentence was cut off 'cause Homer Simpson broke it because he was in search of donuts. Later, your repairman fixes it and you log back on.

Driver: Here we are, Unknown Dungeon.
Chris: Needs some redecorating.
Ashley: Shut up, Chris. You are uglier than Richard Nixon.
Chris: I know....

Chris, Mario, and Ashley wander around the cave, capturing many kinds of Pok'emon. Finally, they reach an armored monster called Mewtwo.

Chris: What is that?
Mario: Pok'edex says that it's a Mewtwo.
Ashley: I wanna get it!

Suddenly, an orb appeared, containing a Mew.

Mew: Mewtwo, give up!
Mario: These intelligent Pok'emon speak English?
Mewtwo: Shut up! I never sounded like Hugh Grant!
Chris: I'm catching it!
Ashley: Wait!! They're fighting!

Mew and Mewtwo's battle raged on, battling with Psybeams, Psywaves, and Telekinetic powers.

Mewtwo: You're no match!!!!!!!

Mewtwo hit Mew with a powerful Psybeam, causing it to be knocked out like Leo DiCaprio in Titanic.

Mario: Oh, no!!!

Mario sprayed a Full Restore on Mew. Then, he fed it Rare Candies. Mew attacked Mewtwo with a Random attack, using Metronome, it put Mewtwo to sleep with Sing, and then Mega Punched Mewtwo into the sky, never to be seen again.

Mew: As a token of appreciation, here.

Mew given Mario a Flarechu, a fire type Pikachu!

Mario: Wait till Mr. Marcial sees this!

Meanwhile, on Cloud City (Star Wars)....

Luke: No, that's not true!
Darth Vader: It is your destiny.

Mewtwo's body hit Vader and Luke, sending them into the trash can.

THE END

Roswell Pokemon

In 1949, An alien aircraft crashed through the Viridian Forest. The FBI took it away for reasons, like "Where have all the cookies gone?" Unfortunately, the cookies were in Hershey's Cookies & Cream. Unfortunately, one alien escaped, taking the form of a Mewtwo in armor, hiding in the Rock Tunnel after a short visit to Blockbuster Video, renting some
Madonna videos to keep himself entertained while I say this.

Matt: Are we lost in the Rock Tunnel?
Dan: Let's check the ANT map.
Mario: Disgusting.
Dan: I'm tired. I wanna watch some TV.

Mario then took out his mini-TV. He turned it on, and found himself watching....

TV: Saturday Night Live!! Starring....
Mario: I like Chris Farley.
Dan: Shuddup! It's starting!!!!!
TV: Da Bears.

After a good episode of SNL.....

Mario: What was that?

He heard footsteps, revealing....

Dan: Dr. Evil?!
Dr. Evil: Yeah. Now surrender... 100 million dollars!!!!!
Dan: We don't have that much money.
Dr. Evil: Right ... surrender your Pok'emon!
Mario: NO!
Dr. Evil: Oh, yeah? Pok'eball, go!

Dr. Evil did a pose.

Dr. Evil: I'm getting a cramp, so throw me a frickin' bone here.

Dr. Evil threw a Pok'eball. It had Mewtwo ... the alien one.

Mario: It's....
Dan: the...
Matt: alien.

Matt chose Venusaur.

Matt: Vine Whip the rocks!!!!
Mario: Pidgeot, go!!!

Pidgeot did a striking pose.

Pidgeot (translated): Top this, Madonna!
Mario: everyone on Pidgeot!!!

Venusaur broke the cave. It started breaking......

Matt: Venusaur, return!!!!
Mario: Pidgeot, FLY!!!!!

The cave collapsed, sending Dr. Evil & Mewtwo into the sky.

Dr. Evil: I'll be back in Austin Powers 3!!!!!! Bwahahahahaha!!!!!

Then, they disappeared. The general came and gave them medals.

General: How about a speech?
Mario, Matt, and Dan: Sure. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
General: Shut that camera off!!!!!!!

The general breaks the camera.

THE END