Disclaimer:

I do not own Star Wars or Final Fantasy.

If I did, I'd be sitting in the Caribbean sipping Strawberry Margaritas.

Sue me, and you will win a shoddy rented apartment and my grandmother.

Note

This is extremely AU – if the fact it's a crossover didn't clue you in.

Alyssa – the OC in this – is my invention.

Alyssa sighed and leaned her head on the cool tiles that made up the wall…. Her life was getting weirder by the minute. Every time she turned around, something stranger happened. As if things weren't complicated enough. She was the daughter of Emperor Palpatine and a Goddess. She was walking the thin line between Jedi and Sith in order to maintain her status as a Balance Keeper.

Now, she had random wormholes dropping down on her out of nowhere. Yesterday, she'd been in the throne room and some kid had appeared. He landed rather awkwardly, but on his feet. Then, he tried to attack her father with a giant key.

Fortunately, he vanished again after only a few seconds. Her father hadn't had a chance to electrocute them. He'd disappeared too fast for the guards to kill him, though a few were still on punishment detail for their slow reaction times. Her father was not extremely pleased with the event.

Then, only a few hours later, a strangely dressed man with dreadlocks – who kept referring to himself as Captain Jack Sparrow – appeared when she was in her study. He hit on her twenty-three times and drank every drop of liquor in her cabinet, before he had the good taste to disappear….

Just this morning, another man had ridden into the dining hall while she was having breakfast. His obviously custom motorcycle had a giant skull on the front…. Perhaps man was a bit loose in description. He was humanoid and had a flaming skull for a head. One look at her father and Maul and he'd chosen to attack the Iridonian Zabrak….

At least that one had amused her father. He'd continued to lazily consume his breakfast while snickering at the way Maul's face contorted at every 'zinger' the intruder threw at him. She'd been alarmed at first, but had realized that they seemed evenly matched after a few minutes. At that point, she'd kicked back and had a second helping of pancakes. He'd only stayed for about half an hour, and Maul had been relatively unharmed…. She was fairly certain Vader wasn't coughing behind that breath mask, either.

She let the cascading water soothe her stiff muscles. She'd spent the rest of the day tense, wondering when it would happen again. At least, now it was time for bed and she'd had no more unexpected and unwelcome guests. If things proceeded as they had, perhaps she would again have no visitors as she slept.

Water showers were unusual on Coruscant, but it was one luxury that she couldn't deny herself. She'd become addicted to them in her travels, and it wasn't like her personal funding didn't cover the water usage. Still, as a sort of penance for using so much water, she always donated equal funding to permit extra water for those less fortunate. When asked, she always ensured that those she spoke to knew why the amount was never the same. Oddly, the people seemed to appreciate the gesture, even knowing the reasons.

She reached for the soap – another luxury – and had just begun lathering herself up when her ears picked up the change in acoustics in her tub. Calmly, she set the soap down. She rinsed the soap off of her chest. Carefully covering her assets, she turned around.

He was tall and silver haired. He squinted his blue-green cat eyes against the spray of water, though he wasn't shy about taking in her form. She finished her examination of him, culminating in the massively large sword cutting through her shower curtain. "Those pants are going to stiffen and discolor in the water…."

He glanced down and then back at her, quirking one eyebrow. "That has never been a problem."

She sighed, then quirked an eyebrow as part of a retaliatory strike. "Then perhaps you will be so kind as to pretend to be a gentleman by stepping out of the shower while I finish cleansing?"

He frowned at her. He was in her shower, with a massive sword. She was completely naked and defenseless. And she was worried about her modesty? He would never understand weak humans. "Very well."

She sighed as he stepped out of the shower. She quickly yanked the curtains shut again and deliberately ignored the tear in the fabric. Alyssa quickly soaped up and rinsed, deciding to forego her hair for another day. There was no sense in trying to enjoy herself with a potentially homicidal swordsman separated from her by only a thin sheet of material. "So, do you have a name or shall I simply call you 'Intruder?'"

He didn't answer, as she dried behind the curtain. She wrapped the towel around herself, and pulled it back to look at him. He was staring out the bathroom window at the speeders flying by. "I usually keep the blinds shuttered when I'm in here."

At his frown, she decided to try a different tactic. "Repulsar technology is a wonderful thing, is it not? What planet are you from, sir?"

He contemplated her for a moment. She acknowledged that he was probably wondering if she was being sarcastic. She'd spotted no vibro-upgrade on his sword, and the clothes he was wearing could be made with the lowest of technologies. According to archaeologists, leatherworking existed before the simplest of engines, after all. "I believe some call my world Gaia."

She breezed by him on the way out of the room. "Never heard of it…. What did you say your name was?"

He followed her at a slower pace, as she began browsing through a closet of clothing. Most of it was as black as his, but there were a few pieces in silver and green. After a moment's thought, he had to admit that the color selection would play well off her green eyes and blonde hair. "I didn't…. But, it is Sephiroth."

She paused and looked at him. "After the Kabbalah…. Tree of Life… interesting…." She quickly selected an outfit. "Well, I'm Alyssa Too-Many-Middle-Names Palpatine."

He started to follow her into the bathroom, admittedly without thinking about it first, but a single raised hand silently advised him to wait. She didn't take long. He had to admit that his experience with the fairer sex was limited, but this seemed like unprecedented haste. As if he had anywhere to go?

He looked up as she returned in black velvet robes, heavily embroidered in silver and green runes. "You are a mage, then?"

She gave a quirky smile, and settled on a green and silver divan. "Some would call me such. Others call me Jedi or Sith or Balance Keeper. What of you, Sephiroth?"

He turned to look out yet another window. "Savior, hero, murderer, madman, villain, bastard son of a rotting alien…. What does it matter what others call me?"

She pulled her feet up next to her, not out of a need for comfort but to get more comfortable as she leaned on one side of the furniture piece. "It matters not. Nonetheless, you did ask me first."

He turned back to the window. "Tell me of this place."

She laughed. "What is to tell? This world is the Throne World of my father's Empire. One of many worlds in over a thousand star systems that bow to his every whim."

Sephiroth turned to gaze incredulously at her. "A thousand star systems?"

She floated tea service over to the table, the water inside of the pot turning piping hot with a snap of her fingers. She dropped in the tea ball and decided to answer while waiting for it to steep. "Is it so hard to believe that man will find ways to achieve dreams dreamt by his cave-dwelling ancestors?"

He frowned and stared out again, ignoring the gentle sounds of tea being prepared behind him. "Do you believe my opinion of humanity so low?"

She sipped her tea, determining it to be adequately prepared. "I do." He turned to look at her in surprise, so she elaborated. "You think me a mere mortal? I am only half human, and among my powers is the ability to read souls as easily as my father reads minds."

He crossed to sit opposite her, in a stiff yet somehow comfortable chair of black wood and green fabric. "What is your other half?"

She smiled. "Not human." She poured another cup of tea. "Drink, it will help you feel better."

He eyed her for a moment, and she wondered if he was planning on attempting to sever head from neck. Greater men than you have tried. "Come now, Sephiroth, it is only tea. Ask me other questions. I may or may not answer, but some of your curiosity will be assuaged."

He took a sip and hid his amazement at how good the tea was. "Very well, are you willing to advise me on how to seize power in my own home?"

She cocked her head to one side, with a secretive smile. "To what end?"

He set his cup down with a frown. "There are those that feel that they are permitted to experiment on any they wish, regardless of sentience or morality. They are condoned by what passes for our government: Shinra Electric Company."

She eyed her teacup, then she took a sip. "Then you would supplant them?"

"I would destroy them."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Nature abhors a vacuum. Someone must rise to take their place, should they fall out of favor with the masses."

"What would you advise? I am far further in disfavor than they."

She gestured and a small container of cookies floated to the table. "Then choose either a beloved puppet or someone whose rule you feel will be fair… or at least in your favor."

He nodded. "My remnants failed to achieve their goals. They were driven mad by the same cells that infest me. Jenova."

"That is an easy matter to fix." Her eyes narrowed on him. "But their loss will remove most of your power."

"Have you a solution for that as well?"

She smiled. It was a Cheshire cat's smile – full of secrets and mischief. "I might. You wish to fight for the death of those who tortured you and others. I find this goal worthy of my time, energy and – if need be – money. My father is always looking for new worlds to add to his empire…."

She left her seat to come sit on the arm of his chair. She smoothed his hair back as he looked up at her. "We can easily dominate your world without your help. But, I propose a trade…."

* * *

Sephiroth stepped through the portal and into the cold, just outside the Northern Crater. He smiled as he fingered the wedding band on his finger. He extended the two wings that now bent to his will, not Jenova's. Before taking flight, he glanced up at the Imperial Super Star Destroyer – the flagship – known as the Eclipse. They thought my Mother was bad. Just wait until they meet my in-laws….