It made his sick to the very bottom of his energon processor, to watch his brother grow up without him.
It made him doubly sick to know that his brother could never know about him or risk them both being killed- or his brother, at least being killed or locked up for the rest of his life as a handle on the weaker emotions.
It was something he had gone over a thousand times over, thinking and rethinking about it, twisting and turning it in different ways, searching desperately for some reason, any reason at all that he would be able to meet his brother.
Time and time again he was stopped. Primus hated him, his brother, and the idea that they could ever get together without anybody commenting on how odd it was.
All he could do is sit and stew over the unfairness, the sorrow, and the overwhelming wish that once, just once he could meet his brother. Meet his brother and talk with him, bond just a little.
Then, his chance came. He wasn't sure how. He wasn't sure why. It just came, and he grasped it eagerly with both hands.
------
Anybody looking into the scene, without background information would've been horrified. An Autobot and Decepticon sat across from each other, staring at each other with deeply reflective optics.
The Autobot shifted slightly, horns sparking wildly into the night, as the other stared at him. "So Red Alert, I suppose you're another one of those Autobots with a happy, loving family?"
The perfectly innocent remark made the other Autobot frown slightly. He sensed there was a double meaning behind those words- but the ever present, ever crushing pain in his CPU caused by the glitch made it hard to think straight. He should be in recharge, but couldn't rest easy around his 'ally'.
"Not really." The words came out unbidden. "Same sob story as everyone else I suppose, I never really knew my creators." A head tilted to the side as blue optics stared at him. "And you Starscream?"
That seemed to throw the Decepticon off guard. He hesitated. Red Alert watched him intently as a pouncing cat. "I had a family. They're all… removed from me now of course."
"Of course." Red Alert acknowledged, before reaching up to rub his helm gingerly. Starscream eagerly leapt on this chance.
"Are you bonded?"
"No, of course not." A miserable shrug. "Who'd want to bond with me? They are all going to kill me anyways."
"And what about the fire truck?" Starscream demanded.
Moments later he flinched as Red Alerts head dropped into both hands, horns flaring wildly that he could feel the crackling electricity from across the table. Starscream stared at the Autobot in barely concealed worry, wondering if he had asked the wrong question.
Red Alerts glitch had the distressing tendency to cause the Autobot confusion, and Starscream had no doubt that tomorrow he would remember nothing. Nothing…
Starscream stepped over to Red Alert throwing an arm around the shoulders. The back stiffened, and the Autobot tried to pull away. Starscream simply held tighter, ignoring the squirming Autobot as he pressed an engine against the back.
The engine revved softly in Seeker Cant, a soft, slow lullaby that soothed the soul, and made one relaxed.
Slowly tense wires and cables slowly unwound, the Autobot digging in deeper, pressing closer to the Seeker. Starscream didn't move, merely tightening his grip on the small Autobot. Words he thought he'd never say spilled from his vocalizer, "Recharge peacefully brother. I'm here watching you."
Red Alert twitched in his arms, Starscream rubbed at the helm, face softening slightly. His optics rose to the sky, as he spoke softly to Red Alert. "You know, you have the spark of a Seeker. It's too bad you're ground bound- otherwise you wouldn't be paranoid, you'd be normal. I'm sorry I never got around to introducing myself to you, but by the time I knew you were created it was too late."
The horns were sparking less erratically now, as the Autobot slowly dropped into recharge. Starscream hesitated, glancing around the empty room once, before his head dipped to press a kiss on the front of the helm, a brotherly kiss.
"Go to sleep Red, I'll be here in the morning."
The Autobot struggled against it for a few more moments, before with a soft slight sigh, his body gave in, and Starscream found his arms full.
Starscream viewed the unconscious bundle, memorizing details he wouldn't have been able to see from the distance. Arms held him paranoid close.
Primus, I take it back. Thank you. Thank you for this one night. The only thing that could make it better would be to whisk his brother away and the two be together…
No, he would not think about that. Instead he would treasure this night.
Stars twinkled softly overhead, as the two brothers snuggled close together, slowly falling into a deep, restful recharge.
a/n: Yes, probably should be in my drabble story thingamabob, but I didn't. I blame plot bunnies and the TF bunny farm for this one.