Full summary: What if Lady Catherine's visit had its desired effect and she convinced Elizabeth to stay away from Mr. Darcy? Defeated and at his aunt's urging, Darcy seeks his cousin's hand in marriage, certain that he will never have Elizabeth for his wife. It is five months later and preparations are being made for the Fitzwilliam Darcy and Anne de Bourgh wedding. Out of spite, Lady Catherine invites the Bennet household to attend the joyous occasion. Will the wedding go off as planned, or will fate intervene?
A/N: All right, so this is my first 'official' attempt at writing a fic, so do try and go easy on me. I hope to improve in my writing as the story progresses. You'll find that I've tried to stay relatively true to the time period in which this story was set, but there will be moments that are more modern and the characters may behave in a way that's somewhat OOC. It's going to have a mix of scenes and dialogue pulled from the book, the 1995 BBC miniseries and the 2005 movie. As a fair warning, I'm currently nearing the end of my second semester in university right now and as a result, the updates may be slow because of my primary focus on that and also because I don't find that I have the discipline required to update on a regular basis but I will try and update as often as I'm able to.
As it stands, this story is currently rated 'T', but there is a possibility of it upgrading to an 'M' rating as the story develops.
Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to Pride and Prejudice or its characters. They belong to Jane Austen.
Chapter 1:
Elizabeth Bennet trailed her fingers along the delicate petals of roses in the garden as she walked towards her home, lost in thought. She was just returning to Longbourn from one of her rare trips to the fields situated not far from the estate. She would often smile despite herself in reminisce, her thoughts bringing her back to morning fog and early chirping of birds; to whispers of love and promises that would never come to be.
A soft sigh escaped her lips as she quit the gardens and made her way to the front entrance of the house.
A gentleman sat astride his horse, tipping his hat toward Elizabeth in farewell before riding off as she made her way to stand near the household maid, Mrs. Hill.
Upon nearing, Mrs. Hill dropped into a curtsy and handed Elizabeth the letter that the man had just delivered.
"If you please, ma'am. This just come for you from Rosings Park." She said and placed the thin letter into Elizabeth's awaiting fingers.
Elizabeth could barely conceal her surprise as she accepted the letter and thanked the maid, offering her a warm smile and nodding as she curtsied again and muttered something about having to attend to her duties.
Elizabeth removed her bonnet as she walked across the threshold, letter firmly in hand. Another sigh escaped her lips as she listened to her mother, Mrs. Bennet, crow for Mrs. Hill to attend her; wailing about her 'poor nerves' and how she had 'still three unmarried daughters' and 'what is to become of us all'.
She watched in envy as her father, Mr. Bennet, retreated to the sanctuary of his study, announcing that he was not to be disturbed before closing the door behind him.
The foolishness of her family no longer held any charms for her. No longer did she smile and roll her eyes in amusement over her mother's desperate attempts at attention, Kitty's obnoxious laughter and Mary's lectures.
She entered the drawing room and sat in the chaise nearest the window, removing her gloves before finally addressing the letter in hand. She traced her fingers over her name written in elegant hand before removing the seal and opening the letter.
Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
requests the pleasure that of you and your family at the marriage of her daughter
Anne Catherine de Bourgh
to
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Son of the late Fitzwilliam Darcy and Lady Anne Darcy
Saturday, the fifth of May
1814 at three o'clock
Elizabeth stared blankly at the elegant letter between her fingers, the words blurring together. It felt like a weight, pulling heavily on her arms and shoulders. She could scarcely form a coherent thought, so shocked was she upon reading its contents. What she thought was a letter was an invitation from the esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh. An invitation… to her nephew's wedding. Mr. Darcy's wedding to her daughter Anne de Bourgh.
Her mind travelled to the fateful night when Lady Catherine imposed herself at Longbourn to make her sentiments regarding the union between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy known. And had she ever made her sentiments known.
Elizabeth recalled that night with perfect clarity.
"Oh, Lizzy, if I could but see you so happy. If there were such another man for you" said Jane as she crawled across the bed to grasp her sister's hand in hers.
Elizabeth's thoughts touched briefly on a rainy day in April before she banished them and returned to the present. There was no use dwelling on the past and on missed opportunities. Her hand tightened on her sister's.
"If you were to give me forty such men, I could never be as happy as you. Till I have your goodness, I can never have your happiness. But…" she said, a mischievous smile forming on her lips "perhaps if I have very good luck I may in time meet with another Mr. Collins."
Elizabeth hugged her shoulders as she watched her sister burst into a fit of giggles, a sad smile on her lips. Suddenly she heard the trotting of hooves on gravel and turned her head to the side.
"What is that?" she asked, lifting herself off the bed and tightening her night robe around her.
"What?" Jane replied between giggles. Quickly Elizabeth raced out of the room, her heart pounding a mile a minute with hope and anticipation. He could not possibly be here at this time at night for her… could he?
She skipped down the stairs with Jane, Mary and Kitty following close behind. Butterflies collected in her stomach as she heard loud knocking on the door.
"Coming!" Mr. Bennet answered to yet another pound on the door and Elizabeth shifted awkwardly from foot to foot as he opened it. Elizabeth's spirits plummeted as she saw that it was not Mr. Darcy on the opposite end, but his Aunt.
"Lady Catherine!" she exclaimed before dipping into a curtsy as the Lady pushed her way into the house. Elizabeth watched her in curiosity.
"The rest of your offspring, I presume." Lady Catherine said with an air of superiority.
"All but one. The youngest has been lately married, your Ladyship. And my eldest was proposed to only this afternoon." Mrs. Bennet replied in a desperate attempt to impress the older woman but she would not be impressed.
"You have a very small garden, Madam," was her short reply and Mrs. Bennet's smile quickly faded.
"Could I offer you a cup of tea, perhaps…?" Mr. Bennet started before being quickly cut off.
"Absolutely not! I wish to speak to Miss Elizabeth Bennet alone. As a matter of urgency."
Elizabeth's lips parted in astonishment and she could feel the curious gazes of her family on her as they exited the room and left her in the company of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
"You can be of no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand why I am here." Lady Catherine said as she turned away from her and walked toward the window.
"Indeed you are mistaken, I cannot account for this honour at all."
"Miss Bennet, I warn you. I am not to be trifled with." she turned sharply and warned. "A report of a most alarming nature has reached me. That you intend to be united with my nephew, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth could only stare at her in astonishment, wondering where this falsehood had taken place.
"I know this to be a scandalous falsehood," she continued, "though not wishing to injure him by supposing it possible, I instantly set off to make my sentiments known."
"If you believed it to be impossible, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far?" Elizabeth questioned.
"To hear it contradicted, Miss Bennet."
"Your coming will be rather a confirmation, surely, if indeed such a report exists."
"If! Do you then pretend to be ignorant of it? Has it not been industriously circulated by yourself?"
"I have never heard of it!" Elizabeth cried.
"And can you declare there is no foundation for it?" Lady Catherine questioned.
"I do not pretend to possess equal frankness with your Ladyship. You may ask a question which I may choose not to answer." Elizabeth replied stubbornly. Who was this woman to come into her home at this hour and ask her such questions?
"This is not to be borne!" Lady Catherine replied, astonished at Elizabeth's resistance. "Has my nephew made you an offer of marriage?"
"Your Ladyship has declared it to be impossible."
"Let me be understood! Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now, what have you to say?"
"Only this, if that is the case, you can have no reason to suppose he would make an offer to me."
"The engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. From their infancy they have been intended for each other. It was the favourite wish of his mother, as well as hers. While she was in her cradle we planned the union. Do you think it can be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth, without family connections or fortune, and of whose own sister's elopement resulted in a scandalously patched-up marriage only achieved at the expense of your uncle?
"Is such a girl to be my nephew's sister-in-law? Is such a man to be called his brother? If you were sensible of your own good, you would not wish to quit the sphere in which you have been brought up! Your alliance would be a disgrace! Your name would never even be mentioned by any of us. Heaven and Earth, are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted? You would only succeed in ruining him!" Lady Catherine fired at her.
Elizabeth remained quiet as she processed this information. She could not argue that Mr. Darcy deserved far better than herself and her connections. He did not deserve to forever be connected with the man who caused such misery for himself and his family. To be ridiculed for having such relations. A fortune hunting, gossiping mother-in-law and three obnoxiously silly younger sister-in-laws.
Elizabeth remembered his words when he proposed to her in April.
'It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger sisters and even on occasion your father.'
'Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?'
'Am I to congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so decidedly below my own?'
"Tell me once and for all. Are you engaged to him?" Lady Catherine demanded, pulling her away from her dark thoughts.
"I am not." She replied sadly, wishing that her conditions in life were different. Wishing that she could somehow be worthy of him.
A triumphant smile graced Lady Catherine's lips as she witnessed Elizabeth's resolve weaken.
"And will you promise me to never enter into such an engagement?" she demanded.
"I will make no promise of the kind and I certainly never shall." Elizabeth replied to Lady Catherine's astonishment. She opened her mouth to protest before Elizabeth continued speaking. "I shall only make such a promise to Mr. Darcy. He is an honest, kind and generous man that does not deserve to have his reputation tainted by my relations. I care not for yours, nor any others' opinion of myself and my connections, however, I am resolved to act in a manner that will constitute his credit and happiness. Now, if you have nothing to say to insult me further, I must ask you to leave immediately." Elizabeth turned to lead her out of the house.
"Miss Bennet," Lady Catherine said and Elizabeth reluctantly turned toward her. "I am not accustomed to such language as this, but I shall remain satisfied in your answer for at least you have regard for the honour and credit of my nephew. I offer my congratulations to your sisters, however improper and advantageous their matches have been and ask you to return to Rosings whenever you choose. You shall be welcome anytime."
Elizabeth knew that she would never accept such an offer. She hoped this to be the last time she ever encountered the awful old woman.
Lady Catherine dipped into a curtsy that Elizabeth neither acknowledged nor returned and exited the house.
Upon her leaving, Elizabeth slid down the wall, trying and failing to hold back sobs. She stayed there for a while, her head in her knees, sobbing until Jane came to rest her hand on her shoulder and helped her back to her room.
"Lizzy," Mr. Bennet asked upon seeing his two eldest daughters leave the drawing room, "what on earth is going on?"
Elizabeth was resolved not to cry in front of the remainder of her family.
"Just a small understanding, Papa." She replied, doing her best to give him a reassuring smile which felt more like a grimace and she and Jane returned to their room. Jane consoled her sister until she cried herself to sleep.
Elizabeth wiped absently at the tears staining her cheeks that she hadn't realized were falling. After Lady Catherine's visit, Elizabeth had succumbed to her heart break, convinced she would never see the man she loved again as he was destined for another. For weeks she remained in a state of melancholy that only Jane understood.
Jane offered her love and affection for as long as she could before Elizabeth insisted she put her focus into her wedding to Mr. Bingley and her own happiness. Jane and Mr. Bingley's wedding was the last time she ever saw him and it had been so many months ago. She had watched him from afar as he had deliberately avoided and ignored her. Though he seemed keen on forgetting ever having met her, she could not. They had not spoken a work to each other that day, nor had he spared her a glance.
How she missed Jane. How she so dearly wished she were there to comfort her in her time of need. How could she bear to watch the man she loved marry another? It was not to be borne.
Elizabeth remembered joking with her sister all those many months ago about how only the deepest love would persuade her into matrimony and how she would end an old maid. Never before had she been so convinced of her fate. She had loved and lost loved. She would never love another.
Elizabeth sighed as she lifted herself from her chaise to inform the rest of her family of the invitation. Her mother responded much in the fashion she had expected, shrieking about her fluttering nerves and about what an honour it was for Elizabeth to be invited by such a Lady to such a ceremony before complaining about how it was a shame the Lady's daughter was to be married to such a 'proud and disagreeable man'. Her father did not have much to say on the matter and her sister Kitty gushed over the occasion to dance at such a ceremony and hoped that the regiment would be in attendance. Mary, to no one's surprise, made her displeasure at attending such an event known.
Elizabeth, no longer being able to stand her family's reactions to the invitation, exited the room and made her way to the swing behind the house, her thoughts in a whirlwind. Based on her encounter with Lady Catherine, the rational part of herself knew the event was inevitably to take place yet she could not squash the hope that someday Mr. Darcy would return to her, asking for her hand again - and this time she would have accepted, no longer able to keep herself apart from him, the imprudence of such a match be damned - or the hurt and disappointment that filled her heart at every passing day when he did not.
She spun in circles, twisting knot after knot into the ropes of the swing until it could go no farther and released, lifting her legs up and leaning back to keep the momentum, her body spiraling in much the same fashion as her thoughts.
No longer was Elizabeth situated on the swing behind her house near the gardens. Instead her thoughts took her again to the break of dawn, mist-covered meadows and ceaseless twittering of morning birds.
Officially having given up on any hopes of sleep after Lady Catherine's visit, Elizabeth pulled the covers off of herself and got out of bed. She threw herself out into the brisk morning air hoping that the chill would aid her in clearing her thoughts.
Elizabeth hugged her housecoat tightly around her, walking slowly through the cold morning fog and out toward the pastures beyond Longbourn. Her fingers trailed along the railings of the bridge that crossed the tiny creek. Wisps of loose hair tickled her face in the soft breeze.
Elizabeth looked up as she heard the crunching of twigs and grass beneath heavy footfalls. Her breath came out in a quick gasp as she saw a tall man bathed in gentle fog making his way toward her. She had no doubt of the identity of the individual. She would know that silhouette, that undeniably proud, self-assured gait anywhere.
"I could not sleep," she murmured as he approached her. Her face flushed lightly at the sight of him but seeing him clad in his nightshirt and jacket made her feel less embarrassed at being caught in her own nightclothes. She would deny any fluttering she had in that moment in the pit of her stomach at the sight of dark curling hair peeking out of the collar of his nightshirt. Elizabeth was appalled with herself for the direction her thoughts had taken her in and she quickly averted her eyes from his chest.
"Nor I," he answered. Elizabeth's eyes searched his face and noted the bruise-like markings beneath his eyes, the light dusting of stubble on his jawline, his hair in a state of disarray likely from tossing and turning all night. She yearned to reach out with her hands and smooth his disheveled locks. She yearned to touch her fingertips gently to the dark circles beneath his eyelids. To feel the rough stubble scratch against the palm of her hand as she ran it along his jaw. She yearned to wake up to his face every morning for the rest of her life. "My Aunt…"
"Yes," she smiled shyly, lowering her head and looking down, determined not to refocus her gaze on his chest. "She was here."
"How can I ever make amends for such behaviour?" he asked her sincerely and Elizabeth raised her head in surprise. After how horribly she had treated him throughout their entire acquaintance, after everything he had done for herself and her family, he was the one wanting to make amends? How could she have misjudged his character so abominably?
"After what you have done for Lydia," she started, and narrowed her eyes in playful suspicion, a small smile playing at her lips "and I suspect for Jane also, it is I who should be making amends. I can go no longer without thanking you for your kindness to my sisters.
"Ever since I have known of it, I have been most anxious to tell you how grateful I am, for my family and for myself. I know what trouble and mortification it must have cost you. Please let me say this, please allow me to thank you on behalf of all my family since they do not know to whom they are indebted."
"If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone," he answered. "Your family owes me nothing. As much as I have come to respect them, I believe you know, surely you must know that I thought only of you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth."
Elizabeth let out an audible gasp before turning her head away in pleasure and acute embarrassment. She scarcely had time to form a reply before he advanced toward her.
"You are too generous to trifle with me," he said, bringing her attention back to his face, "If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on the subject forever."
Indeed, she did not wish to toy with his emotions any further, especially since hers had changed so drastically from her first encounter with him. She wished to answer his words of love with equal fervor, confessing to him all of her true feelings. Her reply was on the tip of her tongue when suddenly she remembered what Lady Catherine had spoken to her earlier that evening and suddenly the words died on her lips.
'A young woman of inferior birth, without family connections or fortune'
'Your alliance would be a disgrace!'
'Heaven and Earth, are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?'
'You would only succeed in ruining him!'
Elizabeth's mouth closed with an audible click, her jaw clenching tightly and her resolve strengthening behind her eyes. She had to put an end to this. She had to be strong. They could no longer indulge in their fantasies, not when their conditions and status in life were so inexplicably different. Lady Catherine was right when she had said she should not wish to quit the sphere in which she had been brought up. No, it was time to face reality. Unshed tears burned behind her lashes before she forced them away and raised her face up to his with a mask of indifference.
"Sir, I am forever indebted to you for what you have done for my sisters," she began. Outwardly, she looked the very picture of indifference, but inwardly her heart broke with every word she spoke. "I wished only to thank you for everything you have done. I have no feelings to relate to you apart from feelings of sincere gratitude."
Mr. Darcy's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He could not believe she still thought so little of him after everything he had done to try and change that opinion. Was her first impression and misunderstandings of him truly so immoveable? Was she, like him - he swallowed regrettably - unable to forgive? Was her good opinion once lost, lost forever as well? How could she stand in front of him, so cold and detached when it was all he could do to pull her into his arms?
"I could not accept you in April," she continued, looking away as the hurt played across his face, "and I regret to say that am neither capable of accepting you now. You have a duty to your Aunt, to Miss Anne de Bourgh and most importantly to yourself and Miss Darcy and I shall not interfere. You are an honourable man, Mr. Darcy, and I trust that you shall see this through. I cannot offer you what you so wholly deserve. I shall only succeed in ruining you and you deserve far better than that."
Suddenly convinced the feelings she was relating were not in fact her own but that of his Aunt, Darcy made his way toward her and grasped her wrist in his hand. She started at the sudden movement and tried to pull her hand from his grasp but Darcy tightened his grip. His fingers burned her skin where they touched her, his touch electrifying.
"Forgive me, Miss Bennet, but I am unconvinced that these are in fact the feelings you relate on the subject. I believe you spoke with my Aunt last night and it has since taught me to be skeptical. What falsehoods has she imposed upon you? What ideas has she put into your head?"
Elizabeth tugged at her arm again and reluctantly he let go. Her cheeks flared from the exertion, "Mr. Darcy, you offend me by thinking me anything but sincere. It is true that your aunt came to visit me last night but she did not relate anything to me that was not legitimate. You were to be engaged to Miss Anne de Bourgh, were you not?"
"Yes, but –"
"And you would be marrying her still if you had not met me. Is this not true?"
Darcy sighed harshly, "Yes, Miss Bennet, but things have since changed."
"Nothing has changed, Mr. Darcy," she replied sadly, "You have made a commitment, you must stick to it."
"This union between my cousin and I was formed without my consent. If I had had any say in it, it would never have taken place. I do not feel any particular regard for her apart from the love of a family member, nor she for I. I care for her as I care for Georgiana, as I care for Colonel Fitzwilliam."
Elizabeth scoffed, before replying, "You know as well as I that love has no place in a marriage. Think of my own parents for example. Marriage is convenience, Mr. Darcy. Marriage is security. Marriage is many things, sir, but it is not love."
"If I had known your true feelings on the subject," he said sharply, "perhaps I would not have exerted so much effort in reuniting your sister with my friend."
Elizabeth looked as though he had slapped her with his words and immediately he regretted them. He opened his mouth to apologize but Elizabeth was shaking her head, a bitter smile on her lips that Darcy believed did not belong on her normally vibrant face.
"Perhaps not," she retorted, "but what's done is done."
'Who is this woman?' Darcy thought to himself, 'The woman before me is not the same woman that I fell in love with. The woman that fought so fiercely, eyes flaring, on behalf of her sister.'
Instead she stood before him, eyes empty and completely devoid of the brilliancy that had first attracted him to her. 'How could she have allowed herself to be so manipulated by a person so wholly unconnected with her? How could she not open herself up to him, to the same love she had wished for her sister?'
'Simple,' his brain replied, 'she does not love you, never has, and probably never will. She's made that abundantly clear.'
"I thank you, madam, for being so upfront with me with your feelings. I would expect nothing less from you based on our previous quarrels." he took satisfaction in seeing the dejected look on her face.
"Please accept my deepest apologies on behalf of my Aunt for intruding upon your home last night and my best wishes for the health and happiness of yourself and your family." He said honestly before bowing to her in farewell. It pained him to leave her, but he had promised her that if her feelings remained unchanged that he would no longer speak of it.
"Goodbye, Miss Bennet," he uttered finally before turning back in the direction in which he came.
Tears welled up in Elizabeth's eyes as she stared at his retreating form. He was really leaving her. She would never see him again. He would continue his life without her. Without her relations to taint him and his reputation.
"Mr. Darcy," she whispered and hope gripped his heart like a vice. Slowly he turned back toward her.
"I wish you every happiness in the world," she told him, wishing to herself that he could find his happiness with her. Wishing she could run up to him and tell him that everything she had been saying was no more than a lie. That she loved him, and always would but knowing full well why she couldn't. Her voice trembled and cracked with emotion as she uttered her final words. "Please, take care of yourself."
Hopes sufficiently dashed and heart thoroughly broken, Darcy nodded his head solemnly before turning away from her again.
Elizabeth stood staring long after he had disappeared from sight. She stood for hours, praying to herself that he would return to her but knowing it to be impossible. She stood there until the chill was more than she could bear and she reluctantly returned to the house. She kept to her room for the remainder of that day, feigning a headache.
Her family knew there was something horribly wrong with her. Never had they seen her in such low spirits, all liveliness vacant from her eyes. They did not know what had triggered such melancholy in her, nor did they ask. They simply left her to her room, hoping she would tell them once she was ready.
Elizabeth was startled out of her reverie by a sudden clap of thunder. Quickly she retreated inside her home before she got drenched.
She stared outside the window blankly, watching the water droplets collect on the glass.
She was not happy with herself for the way she had left things with him. Though she believed it would only make it harder on both of them, he deserved to know her true feelings. He deserved to know that she did not harbour any resentment for past offences. He deserved to know that she now held him in the highest esteem. She could not reconcile with herself that he was out there in the world thinking ill of her.
Though she took no pleasure in attending the event that would take him away from her forever, she was resolved on setting the record straight with him. She hoped that by the end of everything that they could part from each other as civilized acquaintances if nothing else.
Elizabeth returned to the drawing room and took out a blank piece of letter paper and a quill. In silence she wrote out the acceptance of the invitation on behalf of her and her family.
A/N: Hope the first chapter wasn't too horrible. Thanks and be sure to leave a review!