Rumor has it that Storks drop babies
By lafeedeslilas
The day was perfect.
The sun laughed and shone, the sky dripped with an awesome blue as if it had been freshly painted. The birds sang with happy whistles and Spirit, the soon-death-scythe-to-be who was wearing a casual white shirt and had his flaming hair tied up as ponytail to combat the summer heat, was celebrating his peaceful days as a father. Yes, nothing could possibly go wrong now…
"Papa, how do you make a baby?"
The father froze upon the abrupt question that had came out from the mouth of his adorable little girl. He dropped the book he had been holding, together with his jaw.
The crack on the perfect day.
There next to him, a little Maka of miniature size and of 5 years old wearing her cute pink wool dress, stood with her tiny hands clasped behind her back and looking all-so expectantly at her father with her big, round, puppy green eyes which were full of curiosity.
How innocent.
"Papa?"
Dragged out of his trance at the sound of the sweet voice, Spirit jumped off his chair to crouch next to this angelic figure and let his arms dramatically fall on the small shoulders of his daughter.
"Maka-chan, babe! Why do you want to know that? You are too little to…"
"I aint!" retorted little Maka standing on her tip toes to add to her defiant act, and increase her height as a plus "And everyone, except me, know how babies are made. I wanna know too. I wanna know everything like mama."
So much to follow the steps of her dearest mother who had just left him a year ago…
"Well… babies… you see… ummm… those.." the man babbled and stuttered. His hands pointed different parts of the ceiling as he quickly tried to think of something.
"Ah!" He exclaimed as he suddenly brightened up as he remembered the classic explanation, "They are brought by storks! The babies are brought by the stork birdies who hold the baby's bundles with their big orange beak and they deliver them in front of your mother's door and…"
"They are not!"
Spirit froze again. The little eyes of his lovely daughter were so piercingly cold sometimes. Ah the chill… Farewell perfect summer day…. Why was she so much like her mother anyways? Why did she had to be so… painfully smart?
"I'm not stupid" she continued preaching "I know they come from mama's tummy but I want to know how they are made."
The little Maka stomped her tiny feet rather demandingly. In the gesture, Spirit could clearly see his daughter's frustration and distrust growing. He couldn't bear to endure a second more, and as any normal single father would, but shouldn't: he panicked.
"Wait Maka-chan! Don't hate me! I'll.. I'll tell you the truth.." He flew his hands up to the air in an overly and exaggerated way and hopped closer to his daughter; fake tears swelled on his eyes. Spirit scanned the area, making sure that there were no witnesses around, and finally whispered
"It's like this…" said the father, and meekly formed with two of his fingers of his right hand a circle (or an ok sign) and inserted his other hand's index finger in the hole. The girl remained silent and ignorant to her father's action. She didn't quite understand…
"Sempai. That's a pretty vulgar way to put it"
Spirit almost jumped out his shoes from fright.
"Stein! Why are you here?"
" I just thought I could drop by" said the kouhai and shrugged
"How did you get in?" Stein shoved his hands into his pockets and took out a few of his favorite dissecting tools.
"Lock-picking"
The father stared dumbly at the new visitor and after a while of thought-processing silence from the weapon's part, he finally broke into tears.
"Help me…"
………….
"A baby is formed through the process of fertilization, which involves a sperm fusing with an ovum , which eventually leads to the development of an embryo or baby, in simple terms."
" I know that!" Maka cried
"You do?" Both adults looked at her surprised. A 5 year old toddler knowing these terms was definitely not normal. Premature, maybe.
"What I want to know is how the sperm enters the mother's body" said Maka rearranging her question with more detail. The partners just gave themselves a look. Suddenly Stein drew his face to little Maka's and bluntly said
"Brat. They FUC…" Spirit threw himself on his guest's body and hung himself on it, sealing Stein's mouth before he could end the sentence
"Oh no you wont! You won't taint my daughter's pure maiden heart with those… unsuitable words!" He said giving a pitiful and frantic shriek and added in a low voice so his staring daughter wouldn't hear "Just give her a really complex definition of that or something. Just so she doesn't understand what you say…"
The professor shook his sempai's hand and chest off himself and straightened his jacket, responding with the same volume of voice but in a more dry tone "Didn't you hear her? It's the same thing, she understands anyways."
"Papa…." The impatient girl pressed. Spirit quickly returned to crouch on the floor.
"Haha.. Maka-chan you see.. to insert a sperm into a mother's body the couple.. does… certain.. uh.. things.."
"…which is called SE…" And the hand was on again on the mouth of the scientist
"I said stop that!"
"What do you want me to say then? That they dance?" Stein spat once he got rid of the other male's hand again.
"Yes! That's it! Maka-chan, to make a baby a man and woman have to dance."
"Ew…" the girl's face twisted "Then how many babies did you make a day papa? Why, just today you danced with Dina-san, Taina-san, Lala-san, Megu-sa…"
"Al right. That's enough! I understand what you mean…" He said covering his eyes, partly because he realized how logically frightening that sounded and partly ashamed of himself for letting his daughter know that he was in fact, a helpless womanizer "The dance that I just told you about, is a very… special dance." Maka's face brightened as she finally felt she was getting nearer to her answer
"And what is the dance called?" she asked excitedly
"The name is Coitu(s)…"
"STEIN!"
……………………
"What?!" Soul spurted the milk he had been drinking at the comment of his all-so-smart partner, Maka. "Please repeat that."
"I said, how do you make a baby?"
"You are kidding…"
"Do I look like I'm joking around?" Soul was about to say positive, but then he noticed the girl wore a blush. How unusual it was for her to say that she didn't know something.
"You are serious!" He said incredulously, smacking his forehead at the same time with disbelief, "Why do you want to know?"
"It's just that today I saw a baby by the way home, so I was reminded of how once papa tried to explain it to me. I'm just curious…"
"Just what did you learn at school? (He never paid attention himself)"
"They explained once how baby souls are made but they never said anything physical. "
"Then… how much do you know?"
"Oh I know the thingy of the sperm and ovum but I never got to really understand how they got to each other…" Maka intertwined her fingers and stretched both arms up, leaving the book she had been holding on her lap "Dad said that the couple does some kind of special wrestling …or was it dance? Anyways he didn't really finish telling me the whole story. So I came up with this reasonable theory myself!" she finally ended up saying very proudly,
"Which consists on…?"
Soul now stood next to the couch where his partner kept lying on.
"I decided that a little worm or sperm, is excreted from the belly button of the father and it crawls the bed until it enters to the mother's stomach through the belly button once their bare stomach's make contact. Of course, that's after they do all the dancing thingy papa said. " she said gaily "Doesn't everything make sense like that?"
"It sure it does" sneered the boy his voice full of sarcasm. Maka frowned in disappointment.
"It isn't like that? "
"Of course not, Idiot."
"Then, tell me how!" Soul silenced himself as he thought of how to explain it to her.
"I have a better idea" he finally said.
And without any real previous warning, Soul swept his partner's feet off the couch and headed himself to his bedroom with the girl on his arms
"Hey!! What are you doing?"
"Instead of explaining to you with words, I figured it would be easier to show it to you by action"
"What?" Maka asked, completely and entirely lost
"We are gonna dance"
He grinned, flopped her on his bed and locked the door.
This lesson was going to be so much fun.
…………..
Author notes:
Haha maybe the characters a little bit off, I apologize in advance for that. -.- and of course, the conversation with soul happens waaayy later, ok? And also I know I didn't follow the real story line (Maka meeting up with stein when little and all that…), but hey! It's a fic, I just hope you have enjoyed reading it. XD (Review)
PS. Sorry to all the pervs who prefer more action, I'm just not really into writing lemons. Hahah, but sometimes imagination does greater things than a pair of sentences. (Review x2)