"Are you sorry for refusing the Governor's request you worthless little twat?"
A shrill voice screeched in offense at my mistake. I didn't look at the source of sound but rather, the dimly lit ground as the scolding continued.
"Look me in the eye when I'm speaking to you wench!"
The woman, my mother, swiftly brings the crop to my thin back. It knocked the breathe out of me and made me fall to my hands gasping for breath. The first few hits are always like this. It hurts, and sometimes knocks me down to my knees but after awhile I stop feeling it. It's still hard to breathe though.
"Or maybe since you seem so content to look at the ground you'd like to kiss it as well!"
She grabs my hair and slammed me face first into the ground. My ears rang but there was something else. Something wet and salty was touching my mouth. I think it's blood from my nose. I can't tell though since my body feels so leaden and everything is out of focus. The ground, the white of my mother's hair, the orange candle glow on the table behind her, and the bucket of water sitting by the door. They all look like they're swirling around but that's probably just my eyes playing tricks on me again. I still don't think it was just blood I was tasting but it doesn't matter.
I'm here being punished for refusing a request from our guest, Governor Holtz. I was serving the mead to Lord Fermata and our guest. After downing a few tankards of mead in the Governor wanted to play alone with me in the parlour. Something wasn't right. Lord Fermata heard this and left the room.
My mother raises the whip again, ready to scourge my back a sixth or seventh time.
"Katja, hurry up and help the others prepare the bath for our guest. Discipline for the imp can wait!"
Fermata's imposing voice commanded from down the hall, his voice carrying on through the wooden halls to the two of us.
"Of course as you wish my lord."
My mother lowered the tool. She has other affairs to attend to and mine are far from her priorities unless it involved the two of us or the Lord. She turns around to sneer at me before letting lose another threat,
"I'll be back. This isn't over over yet shitty little brat."
She picks up the bucket and splashing me with all the contents, and then takes the candle and closes the door, locking it.
I haven't gotten up but now I had to. The water's frigid and I'm sure to get sick if I just lay on the floor. I crawl over to the table and prop myself up against a leg. My nose is still bleeding so I pinch of nose while bringing my knees to my chest and wrap my free arm around them. At least the water was cold enough to keep me from passing out today. After sitting like this for a time and shivering the the entire time I stand up to huddle against a corner of the room. It's dark and raining out. The thin planks making up the walls aren't doing much to keep the autumn winds out. I can feel them, creeping through cracks here and there. The only thing there is to do now is reach into my memories to try and ignore the damp air.
It's a game I play with myself to see what I can remember. Let's see... This room used to be a cellar a long time ago. And there was this girl I used to work with. She was a bit older than me with really pretty long, dark hair and thin body. I can't remember her face or what she sounds like though. She used to play with me back when I didn't know how to speak properly, so I don't know what her name was either. She was really nice and tried to teach me how to talk and sing like she could. I think she's what you call a-a, ah what's the word? Friend? One of those things I think. One time after it rained I made a mud pie and tried to feed it to her. She just made scrunched her lips together and made a funny face. We both laughed, but I didn't expect her to throw mud at me next. We just started throwing mud at each other until we were both as brown a bear. We both got yelled at afterward but I was really happy that day. Our time together wasn't very long though.
Some time later when I was getting beat by Mother again, she got really mad. Mad enough to start a fight. Everyone in the big house found out, so as punishment she had to swallow some hot coals to 'scorch the evil within'. It looked really painful when they put the orange coals into her mouth. She screamed when the embers were burning her. Ah, that might've been just the sound of her insides being burned. After that we never played with each other again. Every time I went to visit her, she just looked at the wall or slept. Three days later she died. Her skin was like a raisin dried up, but she didn't look any different than usual other than that. If I didn't know any better she just looked asleep.
Some footsteps bring my mind off the memories and back to the cold humidity that filled the otherwise vacant room. Mother opened the door and stomped over to where I was huddled.
"Hmph. Get up. Go to the bath and do whatever it takes to please the Governor. Now."
She grabs my wrist so hard it hurts and drags me to my feet and to the bath. I don't have the courage to struggle after what happened earlier.
Later that night
It hurts to sit and I can't lay on my right side since there was a thumb sized bruise on my thigh. I can't help but absentmindedly touch my lips if I think about what happened earlier. At least now I have a little blanket to cover myself with. It's better than nothing even though I have to share it with mother. I'm surprised she can still sleep even though I didn't wash up afterward. I must stink of his sour breath right now. Looking at her right now, Mother's really pretty and she looks really peaceful. Do I look like her? People always say children and their parents look alike. They say it's only natural for parents to love their children since it's like loving themselves. Mother's very good at singing and dancing. She used to perform in front of Lord Fermata all the time before I was born. I hope I'll grow up to be as pretty as she is. Do I look like her? Having one of those mirrors the high born children use would be nice, that way I'd know. I fall into another dreamless sleep that night.
"Wake up!" Mother's voice commands sharply.
I sleepily grunt out a reply. "It's still dark out. The sun isn't even up yet."
"Get off my bed you twat," She hisses into my ear.
"Just a few more minutes." I mumble. Right then she rips the blanket off me and slaps the bruise on my thigh.
At that I feel tears forming in my eyes.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid! It's thanks to you I have to compete with all these whores. If I had a son instead of you I wouldn't have to work so hard all the time. I could've gotten nice clothes, a bed, food, and servants but no. No! Out came this wonderfully useless girl."
She yells as I feel sting after sting on my face. Somehow it's funny. Her scrunched brows are probably going to give her those wrinkles she keeps complaining about. So I start laughing. I laugh so hard tears come out of my eyes. I wish I had a mirror. I don't think I've laughed this hard before and I want to know what it looks like.
"You think it's funny that I could've had a nice life and now I'm living in a dump like you?"
It's still really funny. She's getting red like a tomato. My nose is clogged though. I wish I had a handkerchief or cloth to blow the mucus out of my nose.
"Fine. I'll just get rid of you." Mother says, calmed down slightly but the indignation is still in her voice.
After that we walked to the market. I spot a tall, thin lipped man standing in front of a cart with cage. Inside the cage there were more children around my age than I could count on my hands and toes.
My stomach hurts. I try to back away and put distance between myself and the Man but my Mother's firm hold on my hand drags me forward.
"Please. Mama, please don't put me with them. I'll let you have the bed to yourself, and I'll just sleep on the floor without the blanket."
I choked out, but she just looks at me and rolls her eyes.
"You don't need to feed me anymore either. I'll just get food on my own. That'll be okay, right?"
I blurt out in desperation as we get closer to the Man. She stops and kneels down to eye level with me and smiles. I smile back. I'm not going to be sold anymore.
"You're right. I don't need to fed you anymore. In fact I'll just leave you here with other little shits like yourself."
I receive another slap as I'm forced to walk with her.
"You're looking for more cattle aren't you?"
"Not really. We've got plenty of 'em right here."
"You don't want more, even for cheap?"
She asked the man raising a brow.
"How cheap?"
"Ten gold pieces."
The man laughed a guttural laugh at her offer and responds with a nod of his own. He procures a small pouch. I heard the clinking of coins in the bag. He takes my hand and she takes the pouch. He leads me into the cage as I watch Mother's figure get smaller and smaller. I get it. This must be a joke. Mama's just ripping the man off and take me back home later. I hear some laughter amidst all the crying around me as my hands are being tied. I must be laughing really hard if I can hear myself above all the other noise.
Author's Note: