Creator's Note: I'm not someone involved with Doctor Who, except through fanfic. Hopefully, they'd be flattered, not so off-put as to sue. If you're taking John Tripp, just let me know where the two are going. Thanks so much.

Italics is muttered to self (or whispered).

Underline is the Tardis talking.

Andie is the name of my dream golden retriever/irish red setter.

And this is the beginning of John Tripp's adventures with the Tardis. To see how my fanfic alterego landed with the Doctor, please visit the prequel to this called All Other Players Eliminated. One question: What do you think your room would look like?

--On With The Show!--

"Welcome to the Tardis, then. You might want to hold on." A chortle moved through the Doctor's throat as John crashed into a side railing and then regained his balance only to fall on his ass again. He burst out laughing shortly after giving the Doctor a very cross look. After all, that's a requirement when someone laughs at you, isn't it?

John just shook his head. "I'm glad you've decided to make my stay a pleasurable one."

"We here at Tardis International aim to please, Mr. Tripp. Or what shall I call you?"

"Well, the Doctor has quite a mystique to it. I've been a fan of your work for a very long time. I'm not sure what I wish to be called yet. Maybe the Historian or something to that effect."

"You going to record all your travels then?"

"Only if the Tardis has my camera in my room. I don't suppose Rose left her iPod, did she?"

"Why? Is pink your color?" He tensed a little.

"I'm sorry. That was...in poor taste. You never really get over the person you fall for. Especially not someone like her."

"No, she was one of the few. And, you must know I only choose the very best."

"Well then, why did you choose me?" They both laughed a little more to relieve the tension. John made a note not to bring up Rose again voluntarily.

"Shall we see your room, then, Mr. Tripp?"

"I'd like that very much. Does each of your companions get a room?"

"Only if the Tardis likes you. If not, I'm not sure what you'll get."

"Well then, I hope she fancies a ginger."

"I'm sure that won't be an issue."

The Doctor led him down another elusive corridor in the expanding Tardis. For a ship, it was incredibly detailed and incredibly easy to get lost. One wouldn't want to get on the bad side of the leader of this time ship.

"So, I do have one burning question."

"Ask away."

"Why a blue telephone box?"

"Why not? I'm not allowed a bit of whimsy?"

"Well, of course, but I just was wondering if you'd been inspired by someone or something. I mean, you want whimsy, why not just buy a Statue of Liberty lighter or some such thing? How about a ship in the shape of a singing bass fish?"

"Because I have style, that's why." The Doctor glared at John.

Twice in one day, he muttered to himself. This trip is getting off to a raring success.

"Here we are. Is that?"

John's mouth dropped open and he giggled slightly. "This, dear Doctor, is a picture of one of my favorite films. Made in the early 21st century; the film was titled Fight Club and it was about fighting the deadening soul with creativity. And blowing up stuff."

"That's...interesting."

John stroked the edges of the black paper. "Well, it won't be easy to lose the room, then, will it?"

"I'd suppose not. Oh, here's your room key." The Doctor handed John a silver key, intertwined with several simple bands on the end. "I'd advise you not to lose it. The Tardis never does anything twice the same way. She'll get very annoyed at you."

"Lord knows I wouldn't want that." John stuck his key in the lock and turned the handle.

The Doctor gasped. John swore he heard him mumble something akin to, "once again, the companion gets more space than the bloody pilot."

The room was very close to a tiny heaven. His flannel bed with flanked by large oak shelves, lined with books and a couple of familiar board games John had loved as a teen. The top had the same style as a Victorian attic and there rested a fireplace and a dog beg next to the fire.

John whistled and heard a woof. He arrived at the Tardis just shortly after you entered. He had such a sweet bark, I just couldn't turn him down.

John knelt and felt a surge of fur. Andie burrowed himself in, panting, water dripping down from his cheeks.

"Cute mutt."

"Andie would say thank you if he could, I'm sure. Wouldn't you?" Andie reached up and pressed his nose happily to John's cheek.

I'll never understand bloody dog owners. "Well, I'll give you a few moments to get acquainted. Oh, just a tip. When you go to open the door, think about where you want to be on the ship, because otherwise the Tardis has a...sense of humor about such things."

"Got it. Hey Doctor, has anyone made you a good meal in ages?"

"I don't really eat, mate. But thanks for offering."

"Nonsense. You just haven't tried the best fudge brownie sundae under the sun."

"I'll have to take you up on that after I get another heart implanted for the one you'll stop up with your fudge brownie recipe." John and the Doctor both chuckled as he left, closing the door behind him.

"So, what do you think boy, think we'll finally be happy here?" Andie woofed in anticipation and thumped his tail.

"Remind you of home then? Promise to be a good boy and stay in the ship?" Andie woofed in agreement and then walked back into the next room. John followed him to find a granite bathroom with wonderful tiled shower and an adjacent dog walker area. He shook his head in marvel. Where had this ship come from?

Leaving Andie to his own devices, John stopped at his door handle and thought, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

You don't have to go through all that.

Really? Is this the voice of the Tardis in my head?

I'd worry if it weren't.

I love the room. Andie and I both thank you.

No, John, I'm happy to have to you here as well. Ready for your first adventure then?

Sure. Any advice?

Watch that first step.

John turned the door handle he had been holding, and fell through the lurch in the ship. He crashed forward into the Time Vortex machine in the center of the Tardis, nearly colliding again with the Doctor, who was brandishing a rather foolish looking mallet.

"You are not setting us down here!"

"Where is the Tardis taking us, Doctor?"

"I'm not sure, but to some uninhabited little planet way in the Verdosich system!"

"Is that bad?" The off-balance harmony of the mallet with the doctor's fiddlings did nothing for John's nerves.

"Well, it's not good. I don't know about you, but seeing the remains of a Cyberman destroyed territory is not my idea of catching jollies."

The Tardis gave one more lurch and then stopped completely. John was still holding to the center console with white-knuckled fury before he blinked again.

"Well, that's fine then! I should have some choice in the matter! Which one of us is the Time Lord here?!"

He's always a bit cranky when I decide what's best.

"That doesn't quite surprise me. Most men don't like being emasculated. Especially by brilliant ships."

John swore he heard the Doctor mutter suck up under his breath briefly.

"Well, we'd best make what we can of it. What do we know of this planet?" John rubbed his hands together while the Doctor consulted his computer codex.

"Only that there are no visible life forms on the surface and that it's grown wild."

"Any Cybermen left?"

"Not to the knowledge of the console. Fancy your first adventure then?"

John took a deep breath. "I thought you'd never ask."