"Tu me manques" she said softly as she gazed unseeingly at the bright flashes of the fireworks display rising into the blackness of the night. Instead of vivid pops of colours, her vision was filled with faded smidgeons of moments long gone.
And this was why she would always feel that something was lacking from her - because he was missing from her. He was just as integral to her wholeness as an organ or a limb was. But he was just a phantom limb now. She could imagine so clearly what it would feel like if he completed her, but that was just another far away dream, and so she was left with the stinging reality that she was alone.
He's ruined her for others, and she can't even blame him for it. How could she? Half of it was her doing – holding him up so high that no one could seem to compare. And the other half was his fault – tiding her over with promises of friendship, love, and a future that she should have never believed in. She knew better than to fall for them, and yet she did because he was her best friend, and he'd always tried to keep his promises. The truth was, he left a trail of broken promises behind him when he'd gone. And there was no hope of putting them back together.
She was a smart girl before she fell in love. She wished she were smart enough to have stayed friends. But even then it would have hurt because a part of her would have known that there would always be more between them than just friendship. And as much as she wants to, she can't bring herself to truly regret being with him.
There were no more tears left to shed after years and years of wondering what could have been and regretting what should have been. All she could do was force the corners of her lips to turn up into a small smile at the thought of what they shared as her heart suffocated under the pressure of knowing what they never would.
It was never supposed to be them in the end, anyways.
Author's Note:
Tu me manques translates into 'you are missing from me'.