A/N: WAHHAAH! I smited the writer's block! *bashes writer's block over the computer screen* Erm.....wasn't me..... ANYWAY...PLEASE review this. i mean it. if you don't, i'm going to sic a pack of rabid pikachus on you. *shudders at thought of pokemon* if you don't have anything nice to say, well then say it sux. i DONT care! it just reallllllly annoys me when 100 people read somehting, but only 10 BOTHER to review. (all you people who DO review, i love you. MWA!) JOIN METMA!! (Muggles for Equal Treatment of Magical Articles--go look up articles in the dictionary if you don't believe me!!) Now, on with the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. *sigh* Nothin but a pack of rabid Pikachus. Oh well. *whistles innocently while walking away*
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I predict that the thing you most fear will come to pass...oh, what's the use? I just can't keep up the charade any longer. The truth of the matter is...well, it's that I can't tell the future. Yeah, a crystal ball with no powers. Zippo. Zilch. Zero.
Look--I just wasn't born with the talent! It's not like I didn't try! Ever since I was just a bouncy ball I tried to predict little things, like when my older brother would beat up my younger brother, or when Mum would get polished, or where Father's next shooting would take place. You see, my father was in the Muggle film "The Wizard of Oz." So I certainly had a lot to live up to.
When I found out I didn't have divination skills--well, I just tried to keep it from them. To make them think I was a top-knotch. But the only "Inner Eye" I had was no more able to tell the future than those in a sack of potatoes!
And I found Trelawney. Poor old biddy, she didn't have powers either. Any fool could see my predictions never came true, and that figures seen in my globe were shady. And, well, Trelawney WAS a fool...a great actress, but absolutely a fool when it came to divination.
When Trelawney got the job at HOgwarts (and I still, even with my *skills* can't fathom why), she insisted upon using me--me, without a drop of talent--everyday. Every night. To see what to wear to the faculty ball. To find out whether or not to join the others at lunch. What the Quiddich House scores would be. Every possible question that could be asked!! I mean, how many times can a GUY respond to "The red dress or the blue? i think the blue makes my butt look big...what do you think, crystal ball?" without gagging?
I just can't take it any longer. Like the way she picks on certain students. I swear, if the Potter kid died as many times as she predicted he would, the entire Hogwarts lawn would be filled with his many graves.
I am going to leave. I don't need to be able to tell the future to know that I could have a better life elsewhere. Hey, right now, even being a bowling ball isn't looking so bad. Hmm....I wonder if the Muggle films have any openings.....
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A/N: Heeheehee! So you see, these magical articles really DO need you. Thanks to all the loyal members of METMA! You can join their ranks by donating 2 sickles!! :) if you liked this, go read my other METMA fics. so now, you shall review. unless you do not fear 10 very rabid, half-starved pokemon. WA-HAHHAHA!!! *suddenly becomes all sweet* And have a nice day!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. *sigh* Nothin but a pack of rabid Pikachus. Oh well. *whistles innocently while walking away*
******************
I predict that the thing you most fear will come to pass...oh, what's the use? I just can't keep up the charade any longer. The truth of the matter is...well, it's that I can't tell the future. Yeah, a crystal ball with no powers. Zippo. Zilch. Zero.
Look--I just wasn't born with the talent! It's not like I didn't try! Ever since I was just a bouncy ball I tried to predict little things, like when my older brother would beat up my younger brother, or when Mum would get polished, or where Father's next shooting would take place. You see, my father was in the Muggle film "The Wizard of Oz." So I certainly had a lot to live up to.
When I found out I didn't have divination skills--well, I just tried to keep it from them. To make them think I was a top-knotch. But the only "Inner Eye" I had was no more able to tell the future than those in a sack of potatoes!
And I found Trelawney. Poor old biddy, she didn't have powers either. Any fool could see my predictions never came true, and that figures seen in my globe were shady. And, well, Trelawney WAS a fool...a great actress, but absolutely a fool when it came to divination.
When Trelawney got the job at HOgwarts (and I still, even with my *skills* can't fathom why), she insisted upon using me--me, without a drop of talent--everyday. Every night. To see what to wear to the faculty ball. To find out whether or not to join the others at lunch. What the Quiddich House scores would be. Every possible question that could be asked!! I mean, how many times can a GUY respond to "The red dress or the blue? i think the blue makes my butt look big...what do you think, crystal ball?" without gagging?
I just can't take it any longer. Like the way she picks on certain students. I swear, if the Potter kid died as many times as she predicted he would, the entire Hogwarts lawn would be filled with his many graves.
I am going to leave. I don't need to be able to tell the future to know that I could have a better life elsewhere. Hey, right now, even being a bowling ball isn't looking so bad. Hmm....I wonder if the Muggle films have any openings.....
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A/N: Heeheehee! So you see, these magical articles really DO need you. Thanks to all the loyal members of METMA! You can join their ranks by donating 2 sickles!! :) if you liked this, go read my other METMA fics. so now, you shall review. unless you do not fear 10 very rabid, half-starved pokemon. WA-HAHHAHA!!! *suddenly becomes all sweet* And have a nice day!