No Turning Back
I sit here, and remember. Just because I am who I am, just because I have no heart, does not mean that I don't know how to remember. I remember my first murder. I murdered my good for nothing father, and his two snobby and rude parents. Though I am not sorry for killing them, it was a turning point in my life. The first time I killed. The first time I used an Unforgivable Curse. The first time I really let my evil rule me. My memories shift from the memories of one killing to another…the Mckinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts…all wizard families I'd killed, ruthlessly. My mind turns away from those murders, and wanders through, over, in, out, not sticking on one subject for long at all, until I stop my train of thought at one particular murder…or shall I say mismurder? Yes, you guessed it. I'm thinking of him. The savior of the magical community. Their hero. The boy who lived. I hate him with all my life, my mind, my body. But I didn't hate his mother. When I went to the house, to kill him, I first killed his father. I felt no remorse. I suppose, if I was able, I would have felt that he was brave. He stood up to death bravely, he did not die pleading for his life. He fought me like a man, and he did not stoop low enough that he used an Unforgivable Curse, although I have no doubt that he had power enough to do it. I then proceeded into the hallway, looking for the child. I knew how strong he would be one day. He needed to die. And then I saw her. She was so beautiful. She held the baby in her arms, her face was white, but she did not run. I did not want to kill her. So I asked for the child. She would not give him to me. She pleaded for me to kill her instead. She loved him. Loved him more then the world itself. More then her life. I fit of rage swept through me, and I killed her. I think about it now, and I would never do it again. She died as bravely as her husband. The child screamed, and my fury turned on him. He was the reason she was dead. If I had not needed to kill him so much, if she had not loved him so much, she would still be alive. So I tried to kill him. I see know that my rage, my fury, my hatred were all my downfall. If I had been thinking straight I would have thought of the bond of her love, but I did not. In my fury at seeing her dead I did not stop to think. I think, in some ways, my downfall has made me all the stronger. My resolve to kill him, to avenge her, burns deep within me. Though I am physically weak, weaker than the weakest being, mentally I could conquer the world in one blow. My soul is consumed with evil and hatred. As much as I might like to go into the past and change my life, I know the truth. It's to late. There's no turning back.
Disclaimer: All implied characters (Voldemort, Lily, James, Harry, Mckinnons, Bones, Prewetts, Mr. And Mrs. Riddle, Mr. Riddle) belong to our savior, J.K. ROWLING!