So this is what love feels like.
A tight chest, constantly staring at her feeling.
Every time I see her, I have urges. Urges like to push her up against a wall and snog her senseless or to graze my hand up under her shirt.
When she trips and I grab her, there are tingles that run through my hands and spine. I haven't felt them in so long. It reminds me of my youth. How I could feel sparks whenever I kiss Mary. This is different however. Nothing is similar to what I felt
back then. Everything is multiplied, and sharpened. It must be her. With her luring powers of beauty and skill.
How can I not resist her?
How long has this feeling been going for?
Has it always been such a strong emotion?
My heart doubles when she speaks to me, I can hear it ringing through the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Can she hear it too?
She makes me blush and stutter, something I would never do. I can hardly think of a coherent sentence if she walks past. She derails my train of thought all the time. During meetings, how can I concentrate on the droning speeches when a beautiful nymph
like her is right across from me. I can't help but stare.
Our private conversations and banter are what makes my day. Especially after a bad moon. Her jokes and clumsiness makes me chuckle in a way nobody else could. Her voice sounds so sweet and heavenly, unlike her singing, but that too sounds like music to
my ears.
When I rejected her, my heart breaks into a million pieces. The shattering look on her face says that I have hurt her more than what I had planned.
She says she loves me, but I'm sure it's a passing phase. Like a schoolgirl crush. I know this isn't right. A beauty such as her isn't supposed to love a monster like me.
Everyday in that colony, I feel depressed and lonesome. I think about her. Her smile, her bubbly personality, her endearing clumsiness, her bubblegum pink spiked hair. My heart aches for her everyday. Every little thing reminds me of her. It also doesn't
help that I have a photograph but still... without my memory and love for her, I couldn't survive a week in this pack. I wouldn't even be able to cast a patronus unless she's on my mind.
I see her once in a while. We don't speak. She's... changed. She's lost her spark, her liveliness, her colour. I knew I broke her but this... this is insane. I broke her personality, her morphing, her everything.
So... her patronus changed. Something big. It could be Sirius but I know it's me. I've caused it. And I bet you it's a wolf. She truely does loves me. What have I done?
After Fleur's inspirational display of affection towards Bill, I know this is my last chance to have her. She won't wait forever and if I don't say yes now, I don't know if I'll ever be happy knowing that she could of been mine but I didn't take that
chance. I can never see her be happy with anyone but me. It's not right, not... natural. I need to speak to her. Now. I will risk a relationship during this hardship. I know she won't break my heart. She won't leave me. I need this risk. I need
to date her, because I love her. I love her. I've always denied this, not anymore.
I love her.
AN:
Hello. This is my first fanfic on FanfictionNet. I didn't really feel like posting this on Wattpad. Anyway hope you enjoy this moving piece on the love and feelings behind Remus Lupin. I might post some of my other fanfic here later but they're aren't that great. So goodnight people.
-Moony
Ps. Beta wanted! My spelling is good but my punctuation and grammar needs work. I will be very pleased if a person could help this shy bookworm in improving her fanfiction writing.
PPS. I'm sorry about some wording errors, the app is being stupid. I have tried correcting them but it just won't accept it.