For me, James and Sirius are one of the most complex characters if only because we know so little about them. I love writing these two, and I hope you like reading this as much as I liked writing it. While this was posted quite some time ago, I have gone over it to kind of smoothen things out because the first version was in huge blocks of paragraphs and weird punctuation. While it's still not perfect, and probably won't come close to it until I get a beta, it's better than before.
Reviews, and constructive criticism, is always appreciated.
James didn't know why he woke up. He was dreaming of the magical Opera his parents had taken him and Sirius to in the Summer, and he was just about to drag Sirius out of his seat when he suddenly woke up. He was no stranger to his sleeping habits, he knew that while he didn't quite sleep like the dead like Peter did, he wasn't as sensitive as Remus was either.
Running a hand through his already messy hair, he looked around, thinking maybe one of the marauders had woken up in the middle of the night to prank him. It wasn't unusual for one of them to wake up, annoy the others till they woke up as well, and go back to sleep. Well, except Peter. That boy could sleep through a Death Eater attack if no one woke him up. Which was why he didn't even bother looking at him to see if he did anything.
He first looked at Remus' bed. He was fine, if a little uncomfortable. It was the full moon two days prior, and this time it was rougher than usual. Ever since the Marauders discovered Remus' secret in second year, they made it a point to sneak into the Hospital Wing after Madame Pomfrey brought him in the morning after. They figured out that his chocolate obsession indicated to more than just an extremely sweet tooth, and actually helped him after a full moon and so, every morning after they would be waiting for him in the Hospital Wing with various chocolate treats. This time, however, the Marauders minus Remus were called into Professor McGonagall's office regarding a prank they had played in the hallways the previous week. They were so worried about not getting to Remus that they didn't even defend themselves and silently accepted the detentions McGonagall gave them, making her even more suspicious.
When they were finally able to go to the Hospital Wing, the fourth year was already cleared to go to classes and therefore, they couldn't do anything. No one, not even Remus, really knew how much their clandestine visits helped him until they weren't able to go. Hence why Remus had been more tired these days.
James' eyes then swept over to Sirius, who at first glance looked fine. However, just as James was about to go back to sleep, thinking it was probably nothing that woke him up, he saw Sirius hands flailing. Alarmed, James looked closely at Sirius, seeing things he hadn't seen the first time.
His whole face was scrunched up, and his now still hands were clenching the gaudy orange and purple-a truly terrible prank by Peter- tightly as if they were his lifeline. His mouth was open in a silent scream. Or, James thought suspiciously, what seemed like a silent scream.
No one knew better than James the extent of Sirius' paranoia, having been at the receiving end of it when James accidentally discovered the scars littering his best friend's back in third year.
It was after Quidditch practice, and Sirius who usually always showered and changed after everyone had left, didn't notice James coming back in for his jersey. He only noticed the bespectacled boy when he heard a broom cluttering to the floor, turning around as quickly as he could, trying to get keep his back out of sight. But it was too late, for the Potter heir had already seen the gruesome marks on the younger boy's back and had demanded to know what caused them. What ensued for equal parts frustrating and heartbreaking as Sirius' averted eyes and refusal to speak told him more than his best friend had in the past three years. His quick mind and calculating eyes quickly deduced what the older Black wasn't telling him, and what he realized filled him rage, unlike anything he'd ever known or thought himself capable of. Sirius, upon seeing the shaking form of his best friend, wrongly assumed it was because he was laughed at and closed himself off more than he had ever before.
When James understood what had happened, he forced himself to calm down and with his hand help up, slowly walked towards the shivering boy, who had hunched in on himself. He knew not to touch him when he was in such a state, and after hours of gently coaxing him and convincing him that no, he would rather die than break his trust, Sirius told him, in broken pieces, what he went through in Grimmauld Place. He didn't tell him the whole story, and thinking back, James wasn't sure he could have handled it then, but what he did was enough for James to silently make a vow to himself that he would not let Sirius get hurt like this unless he could help it.
And he tried, Merlin, he tried so hard to honor his promise, inviting Sirius over for the Summer so he didn't have to go back to his wretched family, staying in Hogwarts with him for Christmas and Easter, and anything else he could think of. But, from what he could see in front of him, Sirius shaking and screaming, he realized he wasn't all that successful. For had he been, he wouldn't have had woken up to see his best friend, his brother in all but blood, stuck in a nightmare with no means to wake up from it.
Deciding that he had wasted enough time thinking and not doing anything, he quickly got off the bed, determined to help Sirius when was suddenly thrown off, straight onto his bed. Confused, James summoned his wand from under his pillow- wandless magic and paranoia being two things he had inherited from his best friend- he cautiously walked to Sirius' bed with the wand help up, casting a quick charm that showed his best friend's bed covered in defensive magic.
He wasn't really surprised to see NEWT level wards around the bed, knowing that if there anyone who could do it in fourth year, it was the boy now thrashing around in the bed. He knew that Sirius could give the upper years a run for their money, wandless and in his sleep. He quickly cancelled the wards, thanking Merlin that he had decided to take up Warding alongside Sirius.
As soon as he felt the wards go down, he heard the tortured screams he didn't know his best friend was capable of making and it was only instinct that made him put up the strongest Silencing spell he knew, sighing in relief when he saw Remus merely shifting, but not waking up. He knew Remus would have only freaked out on seeing Sirius like this, not being as close to him as James was, and that Sirius would not appreciate Remus seeing him in such a state. Growing up in a household where showing 'weakness' only brought you Crucios, and vulnerability was a sin worse than being a squib, it was no surprise that the Black heir had learnt to keep his emotions and feelings to himself.
Now that he knew for sure no one else had woken up, he could actually listen to what his best friend was saying, and it made his blood run cold.
"No. NOOOOO NOT REGULUS YOU FUCKING BITCH. He's just a little kid, how can you be so heartle-AGHHHHHH. Reg, li-listen to me, g-g-go t-to yo-your room, hear me? I-I'm okay, mother just wants me to d-do some-AGH NO STOP."
Slowly, the screams turned into barely restrained sobs, Sirius' fingernails now digging into his palm so hard he was beginning to draw blood in an attempt to not cry out. His screams were now turning into mumbling that James had to strain his ears to hear.
"No. NO, you cant cry. You-you are the Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, it is beneath you to show weakness. STOP. Stop crying. Thi-think of Prongs, he would be so disappointed to see you like this, how disgusted he'd be if he knew hi-his best mate was so weak. Don't cry, NO."
It was all James could do to not break out in sobs himself, seeing his best friend like this. He knelt down beside the bed and cupped the younger boy's cheek, firmly turning his head so that his forehead was now against James'. His other hand unclenched the boy's left hand, entangling their fingers together.
James spoke in an urgent whisper, "Pa-Padfoot, wake up mate. Come on, this isn't happening, you're not with them anymore."
His fingers were almost digging into his cheeks now, but he could that his words were beginning to affect Sirius. He was not shivering as badly anymore, and his other hand was not drawing blood either. Sirius' eyes slowly opened, and the older boy could see the exact moment his wild panic changed into recognition and then apprehension, mixed with a little bit of fear, and finally, his eyes shuttering to reveal not a single emotion.
Seeing this, James' other hand cupped Sirius' face and his eyes closed as a lone tear fell from his eyes. "Don't, don't hide from me Padfoot. I-I've given you your space, I've respected you, hell, I didn't even think of telling anyone for over a year now but this-this I cant just let go. You, you don't know how incredibly terrifying it was to see you like that, Pads. I was-I was so scared-" He broke off as the reality of what he had just seen sunk in, and his forehead slid off until it was resting against the younger boy's stomach, his arms lowering themselves to wrap it around his waist. He took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself down, knowing that this wasn't his time, that it was he who had to comfort Sirius, not the other way around.
As soon as he had got his emotions in control, a determined look stole over his face as he lifted himself up, and scooted in beside Sirius, and tucked the younger boy's head under his chest, all the while knowing that if he looked into Sirius' eyes, he would see confusion and fear evident there. Even after all this while, Sirius still didn't think himself worthy of love and attention, something James had tried extra hard to shower him with in the past year. It finally paid off, as after the initial tensing of his body when he saw James moving, he automatically relaxed into his arms.
After a long time of silence which was neither stifling nor comfortable, where neither of them opened their mouth, James looked down to see Sirius looking at him in confusion. As soon as Sirius saw James looking at him, he turned his head, cheeks burning slightly. James would have none of this however, and with his finger under his chin, turned his head until he was looking at him again, one eyebrow raised at him in a silent question.
Recognizing the expression his best mate wore, Sirius gave out a resigned sigh, hung his head and spoke in a low voice, "You saw all of that didn't you? Why are you still sitting here then?"
Knowing that this was Padfoot's already severe insecurity intensified by the nightmare speaking, he said gently, "Pads, you know I love you right? I promised you that day that I will help you in any way that I can, you never break a Marauder's oath right?"
He nudged him playfully, trying to convey what he knew his words wouldn't be able to. Sirius was the one with the ability to turn words and emotions into heart touching compositions, he wasn't.
"I-I know. But knowing about something, and seeing it happen are two very different things. No one wants to be friends with a freak, Pro-James. Why would you?"
James' eyes flashed when he saw what Sirius was trying to do; distancing himself so it would be easier when James actually left him. Too bad he had no intention of doing that anytime soon, his best mate was hurting and he'd be damned if he added to his pain.
"Don't you dare do that, Padfoot. You know I would never leave you alone. If anything, what I just saw cemented that decision. Don't try and argue with me, I'm not having it. I love you. I love you. I love you. If I could, I would take you away from that wretched family of yours in a heartbeat, but you know I can't. What I can do however, is be there for you and that is exactly what I'm going to do. In fact, that will be starting right this moment. Scoot over." He gently laid down, and pulled his confused best friend down with him until his small frame was wrapped in his arms.
He smiled at the adorable expression on Sirius' face, and brushed his fringe out of his eyes, "You're not sleeping alone anymore. I've been a shitty best friend by not being able to help you, but no more. Today onwards, I will be right beside you, literally, when you go to sleep. Understand?"
He ignored Sirius' spluttering, having seen the relieved look that entered his eyes at his words and just knew that his best friend didn't have any problems with being in bed with him. In fact, if he knew the younger boy well, which he did, he would say that he was actually glad for the company.
Tightening his arm around Sirius's waist, he dropped a kiss on the head that buried itself in his chest, wishing that it would always be this easy to protect his brother.
It was with that thought that he drifted away to sleep, and it was exactly in that position that the other two Marauders found the two slumbering boys in the next dayTTTTTT
This fic has been nominated for Marauder Medals 2017 under Best James. I'm highly grateful to anyone who nominated for this fic, and in case anyone is willing to vote for it, the link is up on my profile.