Mine, well mine was special in its own way. It all started on Friday after school when Danny grabbed me around the waist in a haste and pulled me to him. He whispered he had something to tell me later on that night for his routinely visit. He flashed his signature smirk, which still melts my heart even after 2 years of being together, and ran into an alley to change and go save the day as per usual.
Tucker and I continued on our way to our homes when he bumped my shoulder and wriggled his brows suggestively. He made some stupid remark about why Danny had grabbed me like that, something about if I was ready to Marvin Gaye and Get it On. I quickly told him to shove it and pushed him slightly so he couldn't see my face slowly getting red.
Even after two years, we still hadn't done THAT, and frankly it didn't matter to me. I still love Danny all the same.
Wait love?
Not only had we not done THAT but we hadn't mentioned the L word either. Could we call it that? Do I know what love is? Am I too young to experience what not even most adults do? It was scary territory for me, so I've never said it, and I know Danny would be way to shy to even say it before I did; Even if he also felt the same way. It just stayed up in the air, waiting for one of us to grasp at it, but I always felt it was sorta out of reach.
Tucker had noticed I was kinda spacing out when I managed to walk right past my house. He kindly snapped me out of it and led me to my front door. We said our goodbyes and he left me with a thumbs up. How odd, yet Tucker like.
I got up to my room and booted up my laptop. I've been trying to find new music lately, so I found some random playlist on YouTube and let the sounds draft through my room, while I decided to get started on some homework before Danny got here.
After about 4 songs, my homework all done, I didn't know what to do. My parents were gone on an impromptu trip/business meeting, and it was grandmas "bingo" night at one of her girlfriends' houses.
I looked around at the pictures on my desk, some were pretty old. I should update them someday. The only recent one was a strip of Danny and I in a photo booth down by the peir, when the carnival had pulled in three weeks ago. The first three were us making random silly faces trying to see who could make the other laugh more, and the last one gets my heart pounding. I was looking at the camera with a smile, but Danny wasn't. His arm was around me, and he was facing straight at me. His gaze almost looked, what lustful? It couldn't be. Maybe just a trick of the light.
Another song came up on the playlist and it started out with soft guitar strings plucking. and for some reason the sound just sucked me in. It's wasn't a hardcore metal song like I'm used to, but I actually really liked the vibe it gave off especially when he starts singing.
I bookmarked the song to show to Danny later when he shows up. I know he'll like it, since he's into more chill acoustic music.
When Danny finally showed up, I was laying in bed reading with soft music playing in the background.
He kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with me, snuggling close like a cat in need of petting. I rolled my eyes, Danny's been in such a silly mood lately. We sat there for awhile in comfortable silence, I could hear his breathing start to even out when he jolted himself awake. I chuckled slightly and it caused him to look towards me. Feeling his eyes on me, I turned towards him too.
"Sam..." Danny sighed. He got up to grab me, but I pulled back. He looked shocked for a second.
"Hold on, I have a song I want to show you." I walked over to my laptop and clicked on Silver and Gold by City and Color, and set it on repeat. The soothing guitar swayed my mind and led me back to my bed to lay right next to Danny.
"Sam." His beautiful blue eyes bore into mine. Have they always been this dark? No. I remember them always a bright sparkling blue, but now they looked a deep cerulean.
He changed his position from my right side, to above me. No worries, nothing I wasn't used to. Even though we haven't gone THAT far, we're not completely unfamiliar with eachother's bodies. Is that just the perks of knowing someone for your whole life?
I had finally answered him, "Yeah?"
He rested his forehead against mine, and my eyes fluttered closed.
"I love this song." I could feel him smiling. Darn. I was hoping I could surprise him.
Suddenly when the chorus hit, it was like the perfect movie moment, we've kissed plenty of times before. But this time it felt... more real. More powerful and stronger. Not going to lie, but I was suddenly really turned on, and Danny's cologne and soft lips were not helping. Or were they? Honestly, I'm so mind blown I can't even think.
How long have we been kissing already? I've lost track of time, but our hands are moving and caressing and exploring; most of our clothes are gone now, and I think this song is getting us both in a mood.
Was I ready for this? Ready to let Danny take something he can't give back and vice versa? I ran out of time to think when Danny looked straight into my eyes and silently asked if it was okay to keep going. I didn't think I was ready, but the heat of the moment felt so right. If I was gonna lose it to anyone, I'm glad it's going to be to Danny. I've dreamt about this for so long, haven't I?
Noding my head yes, I pleaded for him to keep going. We were suddenly passed the point of no return. The song ringing out in the background to guide us along.
"...everything I loved, and feared. had all at once, disappeared..."
Danny whispered along the back of my shoulder blades. My back pressed up against him, his right arm around my waist after we both collapsed in a fit of ragged breaths.
All of a sudden, it's like a damn broke loose inside me. I love Danny Fenton. Honest to goodness, I never want to wake up next to anybody but him, love. And it scared the shit out of me. I was afraid to fall in love. I didn't want to get hurt, and be one of those girls who cried in bed all day and ate ice cream after a bad break up. But I knew that I've fallen so hard already, that I would be just that and more.
Danny Fenton was everything I loved and feared all at once, and if he were to disappear, my whole light would be gone.
I didn't notice I was crying until my chest heaved and I hiccuped. it seemed to wake Danny from his stupor, and he asked me what was wrong repeatedly.
"Sam are you okay? You don't... you don't- regret it... do you?" His voice sounded like it was seconds away from breaking. I turned around in his arms and rested my hands on his face.
"No-no that's not it." He breathed a slight sigh of relief.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"
I turned back around to our original position, with my back to him because I could feel myself welling up again. How was I supposed to explain to Danny, what it felt like to love someone so much it hurt without them having to lay a finger on you? How much it would hurt if things turned out bad. How I wanted to spend forever with him; but did forever even exist? Why were good feelings such terrible things at the same time.
Danny seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk, so he settled for wrapping his arms around me closer and kissed the top of my head.
"You wanna know what I wanted to tell you earlier today?" I grabbed one of his hands and snuggled it closer to my chest. It felt so good to be in his arms, I couldn't bear the thought that maybe one day I won't be the one in them.
"Sam look at me." he grabbed my check with the hand I was snuggling with and brought my face up. I could feel my eyes burning with unshed tears.
"Sam- we've been together for 2 years now..." My heart was shattering. Here it comes, I'll never get to be in his arms again, after he got what he wanted. I never pegged Danny as that guy. It couldn't be.
"...And I know neither of us have been able to say it," My eyebrows furrowed, I surely never wanted to say it, that would devastate me.
",but damn Sam, I can't keep denying it any longer." Goodbye beautiful, strong arms.
"I-I... I love you."
There it is, my heart just took the one way exit to brokenland, time to figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I'll probably- wait what? Did he just say.. L-love? As in, I want to be the first person I wake up to for the rest of my life, love?
I was so stunned I didn't say a thing, which then caused Danny to hesitate.
"Well umm.. you don't have to say it back if you don't feel the same way- I totally get it. W-We could still take it slow and y-you can forget I ever said that..." He shook his hair out of his face and layed back down.
Little did he know, I never wanted to not forget it. His stumbling reminded me of one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place. It was the little things about him that grew into the bigger things, and oh boy am I obsessed with this kid.
"Danny." I turned around and pressed my lips against his softly. I pulled back slightly just in time to see his eyes open slowly.
Here I go, once again delving into the point of no return, but having Danny by my side, made all this journey so much more bearable and worthwhile. There's no one I'd rather spend my time with besides him.
And then I finally got the courage to mutter exactly how I felt for Danny Fenton.
"I- I love you too. So much."
I laid my head on his chest and let the labored sound of our hearts melding into one, and the beautiful melody of our own song take us away.