'Ello readers. :3 Good news, this'll be my first none-oneshot fic! Yeyz! Basically, the story is not a crossover (because it'd be really, really unoriginal, moreso than the story may appear now, and I don't see that working out too much anyway..) but it does feature the KH characters in the world of the T.V show 'Scrubs'. However, the 'Scrubs' settings is more the 'bare bone' of the story, which'd give me room to write something fairly original and influenced at the same time. It gets better, I promise, but here's Chapter 1! L:

Chapter 1 - Brilliant Doctor Equals Screwed!

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, Larxene would have been in KH2, Sora + Kairi would have had more intense scenes, and there would be a version of the Twilight Town days playable through Riku + Namine. If I owned Scrubs, the 'Mexican Apple Thief' fantasy would be MUCH more played out, and the last 2 seasons wouldn't suck. Can you tell I don't own either now? XD.

Needless to say, if the frantic wails of uproar, giving the end of the phone-line a vicious, bloody beating didn't completely give the game away – Sora Hikari was nervous. Well, that's just a tad of an understatement; frenzied seems like the most accurate term. See, Sora was has finally graduated medical school, and was ready to begin as an intern in Pristine Heart Hospital, and who would give a better pep talk than someone who already experienced that? Well.. that explains why a bit-more-than-healthily-worried Sora was talking to his elder sister Rikku, who already worked there.

"B-but what if the IV leaks and drips onto my hair, and makes it…flat! It won't look NATURAL anymore, awh, I'm gonna fai-"

"Whoa, Sora, HUSH for god-sake. It was you who was the brainy one, so if I've settled well, then where do honestly think you'll stand?"

"I..guess?"

"Oh, and Sora? Being the hyper-active nervous wreck is my job, k?"

Sora couldn't help but grin at what his sister had just said. Well, mainly because she spoke the truth, but still, it was comforting.

"Look, let me give you a few pointers, 'yah listening?"

"Yup!" Sora perked up to his normal care-free, lax, ray-of-sunshine composure.

"Good. Oh, but first of all, do not, and I mean – do not listen to any member of staff who uses the phrase 'Naughty Night Nurse Rikku' and says it's my identity when 'the darkness gets me and I've been bad'… and also do not believe rumours that I cut my scrubs bottoms up, so they looked like beach-shorts, because damnit, it was the only set of pants left!" shrieked Rikku, giving much, much more information than what was required to her little brother's ears.

"Uh…sis?"

"FRICK! Um… err… Sora, I gotta go, I'll speak with you at lunch, bye-"

"HEY! You promised to give me advice!" Sora pouted.

Heh.. thank god he's not whining over the beach shorts or the alter-ego… if I loved our parents for one thing more than anything else in-particular, it'd be for having a son so unbelievably dense – I love it! Rikku day-dreamed to herself, celebrating in secret victory.

"Fine, fine, you have your way. Now, since you're starting as an intern, you'll basically be shown the ropes and advised by a 'resident'. Warning, if you get Axel Cox, you are screwed. Brilliant doctor-" During this mid-sentence, Sora has smiled, an albeit confused one at why Brilliant Doctor Equals Screwed in the mind of Rikku.

"-but also the most critical, cynical, sarcastic force that one could ever experience – and yes, that does include Menopause Yuffie."

Sora shuddered at this, partly for Rikku and her choice of conversation, and partly also reminiscing his other eldest sister going through 'changes'. "Nah, I really doubt it, Rikku, maybe you're just overreacting?"

"…He tried to throw a patients file at another doctor like a chakram in hopes that it paper-cut his neck!"

"..Maybe he just wanted it to reach the patient quicker?"

"He threw one of the labs testing computers out of the hospital window!"

"Maybe he didn't get the chance to study I.C.T?"

"He came to work in a sports jersey once, and mocked others for wearing the correct attire!"

"Maybe he's just trying to promote a healthy life-style for patients?"

"Wow, how optimistic are you, exactly?"

"Maybe I'm just a little deluded!"

"Bingo." Rikku responded dryly.

"Hey! Stop, you're meant to be helping me!" Sora retorted, but it was really more of an 'Ah, touché!' moment than a denial. "Is there anyone else I'll need to watch out for?"

"Um…" Rikku pondered quickly in thought. "Oooh, yes! Larxene Sullivan. Through-and-through sadist, so much of a predator, it makes the most aggressive of dinosaurs succumb. Oh, and has this twisted on-off relationship with Coxy. Proceed with caution around her if you want to remain alive and intact with sanity." Rikku chirped unusually, considering the content of what she was saying. "Apart from that, everything's ho-hum! 'Course, I'm there to help yah out anytime, oh, and the janitor is the coolest person ever! He even has an eye-patch!"

"That's…great?" Sora replied, mixed with excitement of a new workplace, and new people, but also a slight anxiousness if that workplace and those people would be too much to handle for him. Sora just wanted the night to be over with already, as it would release whatever tension would be left of today. Actually, he was feeling kinda burned out already…

"Yeah, so Sora, I'm actually leaving now, so good luck, m'kay? And look out for me! Sora?"

No reply from his end of the phone, after giving into his nervous weariness.

"S-Sora!? Just answer me now if Larxene has got you already? Before he even set foot in the hospital.. man, she's good." Rikku waffled on, contrasting the startlingly serene sleeping Sora, unaware of the day ahead.

Can you guess who the Janitor will be in this? At first I was thinking of someone else, but I realized how much putting Xigbar as the Janitor would rock, and so I did. :3 Please R&R, I thank you in advance, and oh, from what I have wrote, the 2nd chapter is much much much better than this, so, uh thank gawwwd. :3 Bye nowz!