A Year On My Own- the Memoirs of Ginny Weasley

After the Last Battle with Voldemort, Harry Potter mysteriously vanished, leaving only a note and a pearl ring for me saying that he loves me always, and plans to marry me upon his return. Soon after, I'm falsely accused and convicted of practicing dark magic to find Harry. My punishment is a year without magic or contact with the magical world. Ron and Mione offer to give it up with me but I wont let them. I can do this…its only a year without my friends and family and Harry, not to mention my magic…hell yeah, I can do this…

I also have a secret that not even Harry knows…I just found out tonight…I'm pregnant.

My fiancée has disappeared and I'm pregnant with his baby…I no longer have my wand…I am without my family and friends…I am totally and completely alone.

July 4th

About a month ago, Harry, Mione, Ron and I went into battle with the Order against Voldemort. We won, of course, but after Harry defeated Voldemort, he kinda, started acting strange around us all, talking less and less every day. Same thing with sleep and food. After three days he disappeared. I wish I had some kind of idea of to where he went but I don't. Soon afterward, I was wrongly charged with the crime of being involved with Dark Magic to find Harry. I was tried and convicted. My sentence was a year without magic. Hermione (my lawyer) did everything she could for me but the prosecution had a witness with them…Dean.

I could have cursed him right then and there. I looked into his hollow blue eyes after the trial. I asked him, "Dean, you know I didn't do it."

"Yes I do…but I couldn't stand it when Harry got everything; fame; glory; you. So here's your punishment for ever doubting me…" he said with hatred cracking through every syllable and walked away.

I was too stunned to stun him. I clenched my fist in fury and as I was about to throw myself on his back and strangle him, an auror took my arm and led me to a room off the courtroom where I witnessed my beautiful wand being snapped in half. I cringed as the tears filled my eyes when the auror broke it in two. A gold smoke arose from the two broken pieces of wood after they were split. I could see where the dragon heartstring was in the core and tears slid down my cheeks. I felt like I was loosing an old friend; my wand had never failed me before, and it seemed as though I had failed it.

Tonight, I sit alone in this shabby three-room apartment in London; waiting for an explanation for why I had been punished for so many good deeds I had done in my eighteen years. This page is tearstained, my heart is broken in two along with my wand, and my life is falling apart.

I rub the place on my stomach where a small bump would soon be forming, thinking of that warm, humid night in the beginning of June, when Harry said these words to me.

Ginny, I love you. If I die when we march strongly into battle, tomorrow, I want you to know I have loved you forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, however short that time may be. I want to make the most of the time I have with you right now. I want you to marry me if we come out of this alive. If, God forbid, you don't survive and I do, I will kill myself a thousand times to see you again in paradise. If you survive and I don't, I want you to go on with your life but always remember me and keep me in your heart. And when you die, I'll be waiting behind the pearly gates. I'll wait forever for you and I'll die for you. I'd consider myself the luckiest man in the galaxy if I could wake up one morning looking at you and think to myself, 'That's my beautiful, kindhearted, brave wife.'

I wear that beautiful pearl ring on my ring finger. I hadn't examined it properly when I first saw it but it had an engraving on the inside I hadn't noticed. It says 'Forever I'll Love You'.

I touch the bumpless place on my stomach and realize how glad I am that it'll be Harry's baby and mine.

When he comes home to me.

…If he comes home to me.

When he comes home to me.

July 10

Maybe things are looking up…I made a new friend. Her name is Ella Tucker. She lives in the apartment across from mine. I like her a lot. She made me delicious brownies yesterday. I still have some and I'm eating one now…mmm…yummy. I can taste the chocolate chips and the bits of cherry in it. I hope my baby likes chocolate.

Anyway, I'll describe Ella. She's twenty and tall compared to my 5'8 1/2. She's probably about 6'1 or 5'10 1/2. She has her pencil straight dishwater-blond hair in a shoulder-length cut with light brown and dark purple streaks in it. I think its gorgeous on her because it complements her eyes (light brown with dots of dark blue). She's a little heavy around the edges but it works for her. She has a sweet little boy named Cayden Blake. He's only two but he talks in three to four word sentences. He looks a more like his momma but you can see his daddy in him, especially in his attitude; long curly dishwater-blond hair, darker than his mother's, with icy blue eyes with long brown eyelashes. He's the one that brought over the brownies. He also gave me a daisy because he thought I was pretty. I was so touched I wanted to cry. Ella came over with him later. We had a good conversation about what happened to her.

Back when she was living in Scotland she had a boyfriend, Jack. He left her after he found out she was pregnant with Cayden. Stupid ass was afraid of commitment…especially to a baby…so Ella moved to London and had Cayden. She's been here working as a ballet teacher ever since. I might just join her class to have something to do. I always wanted to do ballet.

A thought struck me today as I was doing dishes…even if Harry does come back he wont be able to find me because I cant have contact with the magical world…One day…when I am free of this dreaded magical bind that keeps me from seeing my family and friends…I will find Dean and kill him. He cant hide from me forever…I will find him…and I will find Harry…if it's the last thing I ever do…

July 17

I decided to take Ella's class. I bought a black ballet tunic, blue point shoes, black tights, and a sparkly blue skirt. I thought I looked quite pretty with my hair in a tight red bun. I took the bus down town to Ella's studio (and moseyed up four flights of stairs thank-you-very-much). I opened the door to the studio and the inside looked a lot like the inside of Ella's apartment, painted a pretty color of an ocean jade turquoise. A line of mirrors went from the corner of one wall to another and a ballet bar was under it. The mahogany floors were warm to the touch, as if it had known me. I came to think that maybe the tree that produced this floor was the same as my wand. Being so close to my magic and yet so far apart brought tears to my eyes, and again I got the feeling that I was completely and utterly alone. I sat down on the floor and soaked up the mere presence of magic that I knew was there, slowly inhaling the supernatural feeling that came from being close to my past after so long. I heard Ella walk in and say hello so I turned around.

"Ginny, you look a mess!" Ella cried as she rushed over to me. She saw the tears in my eyes and rushed over to me. "You look like you haven't slept a wink in decades!" She was right; the most sleep I had gotten in the past month came to a grand total of about two hours per night. For me it would have normally been much more than that but I had spent every night crying myself into a fitful sleep, hugging Harry's pillow to my body the whole time.

"Gin, go home and get some sleep. You are too tired to start classes and you really need sleep." She said, "You're starting to look like a ghost. Come back for class in a week from tomorrow."

So I went home and drowned myself in tears once again. In my mind, the night that Harry got me pregnant was playing over and over again in my mind, and then came the day we battled for the last time with Voldemort.

Again, the page I write upon is tearstained, and perhaps at one point the well will finally run dry and I'll stop crying for myself, crying for Harry, crying for my wand, crying for my unborn baby.

August 9th

I'm a bit happier these days. I have spent most of the days I haven't written crying so well has run dry at last. All I can do is hiccup…I gave Ella's class a try again. I'm actually pretty good at it…the scent of mahogany still haunts me…but I am slowly learning to let go.

The once bump-less place on my stomach has turned into a soft curve. I think by the time I reach the 6-month mark of my pregnancy I will have to stop ballet because of my extreme mommy-size.

I've decided on a name for my and Harry's son (or daughter if that be the case). The name I chose for him is Isaiah Bradley James Potter. The name I chose for her is Samantha Lily Marie Potter. Oh I hope that the baby has Harry's hair, but softly wavy like mine and my eyes with spots of his green. A beautiful baby he'll (or she'll) be…

I've found a job too. I'm now a waitress at a fancy restaurant called Queen Elizabeth's or just Elizabeth's. The Queen herself is said to be regularly seen there but I have yet to see her…I don't get paid much…just 8.50 an hour…but it's a living…enough to pay for the apartment I rent…

I've been thinking about Harry lately…I think he'd want me to make the best of this situation…he'd be glad I made Ella my friend and I'm taking private ballet lessons and he'd be happy I got that job. That's what compelled me to go and get that job. That's also the reason I stopped crying…

For now,

Ginny Potter