Lips. Chest. Legs. Love.

What do all of these lovely words have in common?

A woman. Well, most women anyway.

I love the feeling of caressing a woman. Soft skin, light sweat and a whole lot of heart pounding. You hold her close and you nuzzle your nose in her neck, as if her neck was made of cream. You kiss it softly, then charge at it, like it's the last delicious item on this very planet. I caress those necks. I caress those legs. I caress that woman, until she drifts off into a deep slumber. That is when my cue is established and I rush off into the night, never to see her again.

I get a call in the middle of my...erm...events, if you wish.

"Jason! Good, you answered. Okay dude, you're NOT going to believe what I just saw right now. Oh man! This is rich. I don't know if I should leave it outside the doorstep, or bring it in so you can freak out with me. Oh my GOD, Jason, this is GOLD!"

I stumble while trying to grab hold of the golden crested dashboard and keeping this conversation going with Christopher, my roommate.

I grunt, but cover it up with a quick cough, "Uhm, I'm a little busy right now Chris. Could we uhh," a slight moan creeps out during the struggle of words that are trying to come out of my mouth, "Let's catch up later, shall we?"

She licks her lips while her hazel nut colored eyes gleam up at me. She holds on to dear life while I try not to fall completely on top of her. She wiggles around, slides her legs more outward, and nods her head lightly. She's giving me permission to give her the full throttle.

I am contemplating in whether I should throw the phone at the far wall and let Chris hear the uproar OR say a quick goodbye before pounding my prey.

"Gotta go Chris!" I yell out and press the end button on my iPhone before positioning both my hands on her hips and letting all of my energy fly.

Now, there's two things I usually do after I have amazing, yet meaningless, sex with a woman.

A) She goes to shower after that sweat slithering workout and I slip out like a snake.

or

B) When her eyes tend to close for more than 5 minutes and her mouth gargles up saliva. I quickly collect my things, and never return.

The woman tonight, did neither. Instead, she made me snuggle with her.

"Oh my God," she laughed out before she closed her eyes for a minute, "That was AMAZING, babe." She turned her whole, sweet tan body towards mine and burrowed herself into my neck. Her right leg slipped over mine, and she hummed a soft lullaby.

I, on the other hand, did not want to sing a lullaby. I wanted to go home and see what Chris was pissing his pants about. I glanced over the side of the bed, to see where my phone went. Ah, under my white t-shirt. Got it. I swiftly straightened myself up, bringing her with me, and moved her leg out of the way so I could stand up. I stretched my naked body for a satisfying minute, and grabbed my jeans. She sat there, blanket around her chest, confused as to why I got out of bed so quickly.

"Don't you want to cuddle babe?" she asked sweetly.

I gave her a smug look, "I'm gonna shower baby. I'll be back in a little while."

Her eyes widened and she smiled bright, "Okay, but don't be too long," she bit her lip, "I'll be waiting." And she plopped down on the bed once again.

I quickly gathered my items, ran towards the bathroom, and locked it. I slipped on my jeans and placed the white t-shirt over my shoulders. I looked at myself in the mirror. I smirked, "You sly dog." And I opened up the apartment window. It wasn't that high off the ground. Just a couple feet.

I swung my right foot over the ledge, then the left. I put my phone in my pocket, and prayed for like a second.

"Alright buddy, prepare for a bit of pain." And I slammed right onto the concrete floor.

After a good 10 minutes, I walked it off safely. There might be a slight bruise there in the morning, but it was worth it. No WAY was I going to "cuddle" all night. That's how I deal with women. I don't do relationships, I don't "fall in love." And I certainly am not going to let some girl run my for the REST of my life. Fuck. That.

I raised my phone up to my face and read the lengthy text messages Chris sent me. They were all about that stupid thing he was freaking out about. Something about how it will change my life or how it will be the most weirdest thing to see once I walk through that door of our apartment. The only thing I want to see when I walk in that place, is my bed.

I missed my bed. I never brought girls home with me. I always went to their place. My room is the sancturary of sancturaries. It is clean, crisp and has never been touched by another human being's hands, let alone their body. Not even CHRIS, is allowed in my room. I have about 3 locks on my door and a security censor. Shit is safe.

I continue to browse through the texts and listen to the 5 voicemails that blast through my eardrum.

"Dude come on! Come home already. I am FREAKING out."

I see my building and I stop to fix the zipper on my jeans.

"Hey Jase, it's Chris. I'm sure you knew that from your caller ID...anyway! There is something on our doorstep that you HAVE to see. Call me back soon."

I grab my keys and open the front gate.

"Jason! Pick up your fucking phone! This is really important. I don't know what to do with this...thing! Call me."

I walk through the lobby and into the elevator. God, elevator music. It makes me want to fall asleep. Hey, maybe I'll fall asleep here.

"JASONNNNNNNNN. PICK. UP. YOUR. PHONE. It's about to wake up!"

Wake up? What does he mean? I get off the elevator and sprint down the carpeted hallway. Smells like old man Chester is making his famous tomato sauce again. Good old Chester.

"Alright, I'm just gonna come out and say it," I walk up the small flight of stairs that lead to our apartment while listening to Chris' last, annoying voicemail. "Someone put something on our doorstep," I fumble with my chain of keys before approaching that last step, "And that thing is..." I drop my keys on that second to the last step.

"A baby?"