After I watched The Wrath of Khan for the first time, I wrote about it in a notebook, which I ended up filling with thoughts about Star Trek. This is some of the contents of the notebook:

James T. Kirk and Spock in The Wrath of Khan

Why the difference between Kirk's attitude toward the Enterprise, in TMP and TWOK? In TMP he wanted to get the Enterprise/a ship back so badly he would do almost anything, but in TWOK he says he has no interest in getting back his command.

I think, what happened, was this. In The Motion Picture Kirk finally got the Enterprise again, and he wanted to keep her—he was hopeful that he'd find a way—like he said, he doesn't like to lose. But it didn't work—they took her away from him again, just when he'd finally allowed himself to hope—and the only way to bear it was to pretend he didn't care. That he didn't want her. Because wanting her [the Enterprise] was too hard knowing he'd never have her. But it was killing him, the pretending—he had fooled himself into believing the pretense because it was the only way to survive but it was killing him, only slowly, fading away.

And that is what everyone realized but him. Spock knew, and Bones. And they tried to show him, but he couldn't see, because as long as he didn't see, he didn't ache so much—it was only when Spock died that he realized what Spock had been trying to say.

Striking/beautiful/meaningful details (some of which come in threes): the "feeling old" that changed in the end to "feeling young"; the book that was a birthday present from Spock, "A Tale of Two Cities"; and the Kobayashi Maru.

The first time you saw it was in the simulation; the second time when Kirk told how he'd cheated to win it, and out of a no-win scenario reveals what was up his sleeve all the time; and the third when Spock dies.

The first time in the simulation set it up: it says, sometimes there is such a thing as a no-win scenario—as a statement, that is as yet unproven either way.

The second time contradicts the first, showing that there are always options, the no-win scenario is a lie, there is always a way out, a way to cheat death.

The third time turns the victory on its head, and shows for the final, and first, time, that, sometimes, there is such a thing as a no-win scenario.

And what Kirk realized was that he had never faced death, had never really believed in a no-win scenario; he believed, like Spock said, that there were always options.

When Spock died, he said, "I never took the Kobayashi Maru until now. What do you think of my solution?" Spock realized that for once there was no winning card. And through that, Kirk also realized it.

Oh—and creepy thing—in the beginning of the movie after the simulation Kirk said to Spock he should be 'dead'—he was killed in the scenario. And in the end he was killed by it again, only this time literally. In the beginning it was a joke, in the end the farthest thing from it.

And still, the humor stayed till the end—right before Spock goes into the radiation chamber he argues with Dr. McCoy about going in, just like they always do—and even though you know what he's planning its unexpectedly funny, and heartwarming.

Actually, the three no-win scenarios and Spock's death are connected—in the first, it was the no-win scenario that killed him. In the second it was Kirk who was in danger, Spock who wasn't there—and his absence is a greater symbol than his being there. He is not there, but [because of that] he saves Kirk. And in the third, the same thing happens—he saved everyone, he saves Kirk, but he dies. In all three times, he is not there. The first time he 'died;' the second he was gone, absent—literally, saving everyone's lives; the third he really died, saving everyone again, and connected with that is absence—loss. Emptiness. And in the end McCoy says "he'll never really be dead, as long as we remember him." And that is both—the loss and absence of Spock gone, and yet in a way, the feeling is the opposite as well—it's a new day, and as long as we remember him, he'll be with us.

So there are three more details: the absence of Spock. He was absent when he saved Kirk from inside the Genesis experiment, only his voice is there. And he was absent when he died, and after, at the funeral and in Kirk's quarters. And he was absent—yet present—at the end, as the sun rose.

Maybe you could also call it the presence of Spock—he was present by voice in saving Kirk from Genesis, he was present behind the wall of the radiation chamber, saving the ship and then being miraculously alive when he should have been dead—again, present yet removed—he was behind the wall, only his voice went through. And in the very end, after the movie finished, they had the "Space—the final frontier" speech—in the end, not the beginning—and it was Spock who said it. And the speech itself was different—it was the continuing voyages of the Enterprise—a hopeful word, an it's not really the end word—and he paused in "Where no man—has gone before." Captain Kirk never paused there. It seems almost as is he is speaking of himself as he says it, as if he is somewhere no man has gone before—not dead, but exploring new worlds.

And also, there is significance in that Spock says the speech at all—it was always Kirk who said it. It's no longer someone speaking into the ship's log, it's no longer quite so literal in meaning. It's spoken by someone quite apart, and yet there—as if he were watching over the Enterprise.

About death: in the beginning it was Kirk who was dying and Spock who was alive; in the end, Spock died, and in doing so, allowed Kirk to live. But Spock knew something Kirk didn't—"the way you face death is just as important as the way you face life" and unlike Kirk, who had been dying but couldn't face death, he could face it, and he did, and because of that, in the end, he was alive.

Because he faced death of his own free will, and accepted it to save others, he may have died, but his spirit was full of life. A contradiction, it's true, but it was Kirk who was in danger of dying; Spock was not.

Because, you see, it was Kirk's spirit that was dying in the beginning, and was saved in the end, and it was Spock who's spirit never died, even to the end.

Random note at the end of the page:

The Blu-Ray trailer for this was REALLY good! [Not the old one] I mean, amazing. As much a work of art as the movie itself.

.

.

.