Okay... so my friend is going through some tough times in life and so I offered to try and cheer her up. She asked my to create a "Funny Maximum ride fanfic." So... I'm not so sure how close I got the personalities of the characters (I haven't read the books in a few years, and I never did fin two of them at the library...) And as for funny? Neh... Some of my readers say I have funny scenes in my writing, but I'm trying to make someone else laugh here! So anywho- No giving me crap for poorness of this, I no own characters, they belong to the author, and this is a oneshot to cheer up one of my best buddies! Enjoy!
P.O.V. Max
This has had to have been one of the worst days that I've had that I can remember. I managed to anger every last member of my flock. Every. Last. One.
They all say that I need to cheer up. That I need to have a bit more fun with my life, and stop being angry with the world. That I need to stop trying to hide the fact that I'm sad on the inside sometimes. That the sadness will never go away if I don't allow myself to stop worrying about what will happen in the future and that I need to remember the fond memories of the past, and stop trying to live in it. My flock is growing up- the members of it changing. I don't want that to happen.
Today they decided that I'm pushing them too hard. They decided that I'm working them too much. I blame stress.
So, since they didn't want me there- with my apparently irritating attitude- I left. I flew away from my problems at home, and found somewhere to go till I can sort through my thoughts and decide what I should do. Now here I am- sitting on a park bench in the middle of a small town. There's a playground to my left, and a garden to the right. Soon I find myself lost in thought.
I don't know how long I was sitting there. All that I know is how I came back to my senses. It was thanks to a little girl. A tiny little girl who could be no older than the age of nine. She walked up to my bench, and just sat next to me. Then she began to play around with the bonnet on her baby doll.
"Why are you so sad, lady?" An older womans voice asks asks. My head shoots up and I look at the child next to me. She faces me and looks up into my eyes with her own bright green ones. "You looked so lonely. Why are you lonely?"
"I- I'm not lonely!" I exclaim. "I'm not lonely, and I'm not sad. Just like I'm not stuck up, or pushing them too far, or making them work too hard. I'm just fine the way that I am. Why I've neve-"
"Don't lie to me, pretty lady. You feel empty on the inside. Abandoned. Betrayed. need I go on?" She interrupts.
I look down at her tiny green eyes. I study them for a moment, before I see that they have become unfocused. It's as if she's staring off into the distance, searching for something there. Or at least it would be if my head weren't in her way. Instead it was like she was trying to stare right through me.
"They used to love you, and they still do." She suddenly says, still staring off into the distance.
"How do you know?" I ask her.
"Trust me, they do. I know it. It may seem as if they want nothing to do with you, but it's because you've changed just as much as they have. You used to laugh and play along with them. Not just sit off to the side and watch. They don't dislike you- they just miss the times when you acted immature and childish. Deep down inside, you feel the exact same way." *1
"How the hell do you know this?" I exclaim, thoroughly freaked out by what this little girl has been saying.
"There's no need to be afraid." she says in that creepy monologist tone of hers\, still spacing out.
"I'm not afraid!" I shout. Everyone in the park instantly looks at us. The little girl's eyes suddenly snap back into focus and she smiles at me.
"Hiya, lady! I like you- you must be a good person if Sara talked to you!" She exclaims in a voice that sounds like a childs should.
"Sara?" I ask, still feeling uneasy.
"Yeah, she's my friend. No one else can see her or hear her, so she likes me to give messages for her sometimes. Hey! You wanna hear a joke?" Someone who no one else can see or hear. I start trying to puzzle through what she just said to me. Screw it- I've heard less logical things and seen them proven true before, why shouldn't I believe this? Not like it will hurt me later... will it?
"You always worry about everything, Max! Loosen up!"
I remember what Fang said to me earlier.
"You wonder why the younger kids don't enjoy being around you anymore? Well here's why! It's because you can't have fun! You never accept anything any more! You always have to question everything that happens! Guess what? Some things can happen that don't make any sense! Accept that, and quit being so freaking stuck up!"
I close my eyes and sigh at the memory. I feel a little tug at my sleeve. i look down and see the green-eyed girl looking up at me worriedly. "Hey lady, you okay? You look sad. Are you sick? Mommy says that laughter is the best medicine! Wanna hear a joke?" She asks.
I'm about to say no, I don't have time when I remember how Angel complained this morning.
"You never have time for anything other than training anymore! I wanna do something with you! You need to relax more!"
I sigh and look down at the little girl standing by my feet once more. "Sure, why not?" I say. She instantly starts grinning like a madwoman.
"What do clouds wear under their shorts?" She asks as she starts jumping up and down. I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Thunderpants!" She shouts before she starts giggling. I can't help but laugh along with her. It's not that the joke is funny- because it really wasn't that good. It was just the fact that she was so cute when she was laughing. It was a contagious laughter to. Just like Angels. When was the last time I heard her laugh? I honestly can't remember. That means that it's been too long.
"Wanna hear another one?" I grin and look into her eager eyes.
"Sure." I say as I nod.
'Yay!" She shouts. "What do you call a dinosaur that crashes a car?" She pauses dramatically, putting a serious look on her face. "A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!" She once again burst into insane giggling. I shake my head and smile.
"Listen, I have to go now, but thank you!" I say as I start to run towards the woods so i could take off for the trip back home. I'm going to show that flock just how "stuck up" I can really be.
Later...
P.O.V. Iggy
When Max came home last night, I was shocked. Not in a bad way though- she was more cheerful than I remember. Much more cheerful. At first I thought she had finally gone off the deep end. Completely insane, I was convinced of it. She was hopping around everywhere she went, and was telling the younger kids the stupid corny jokes that made Angel and Gazzy beak into tears.
"What happened, you get hit by a plane or something when you went on that flight?" I ask, completley serious for once when she said that we wouldn't be training tonight and that we, for once, could go to bed before 2 AM. I never thought that I would hear a child like Gazzy be so thrilled to go to bed on time. What is wrong with the world?
P.O.V. Max
The rest of the flock has been in bed for a few hours. Now was the time to start putting my plan into action. Earlier today I went on the internet and looked up some... interesting things. Muahahaha! Now I only need to put all this string, saran wrap, cans, watches, and duct tape to good use...
Morning...
P.O.V. Fang
Max was completely insane last night. I have no clue what was going on in that head of hers- but she was up to something. I yawn and get dressed, setting my suspicions aside. I should've been completely paranoid and wary of every last thing that was out of place in the air. i chose to ignore it. That came back to bite me in the ass later.
I finish pulling my shirt over my head and head for the bathroom door. I open it and about a million shining cans fall onto me. "What the?" i yelp from under the pile of soda cans. Gah, I knew Max was up o something last night. I crawl out from under the aluminum mountain and start to examine the rest of my room for other mysterious booby traps. Finding none I sigh, and wade through the cans on the floor to get to the bathroom.
P.O.V Nudge
I was planning on sleeping in this morning. That plan was ruined when I woke up to the sound of Fang screaming vulgarities that would make a sailor blush. I instantly sit up and throw the covers off- ready to find out what was making him scream like that. I leap up and start to dash for the door- only to trip and fall to the floor.
"What on Earth?" I question as I examine my ankles. I was in a giant web made out of yarn. It stretched from the ceiling to the floor, from the window to the bedposts, and from my desk to the dresser. I untangle myself and start to make my way towards the door, carefully charting out a route from my bed to my final destination.
P.O.V. Angel
Fangs screaming is what woke me up this morning. I guess that it didn't mater that he woke me up though, because five minutes later my room bursts into noise. Jingling, ringing, beeping, and half a dozen other sounds fill the air. One of the sources of the sound- because its coming from about twenty different places- seems to be coming from under my pillow. I lift it up to find a watch there, one of those ones that can be programed to set off an alarm at a certain time. I sigh and push the off button on it. then I stand up and turn the alarm off of an alarm clock that's sitting on my shelf of stuffed animals. i shake my head and start hunting out watches and alarm clocks one by one.
P.O.V. Gazzy
Fang was screaming like a madman. I had a feeling that he rally was a very mad man at that moment. I wonder what made him so angry? I'm debating weather or not I should get up when I hear a thud from Nudge's room. I wonder if she fell out of bed? I sit up and open my eye, ready to help someone if needed. I put my feet out of the bed... and step on something warm and soft. I probably jumped about ten feet into the air before looking down and seeing that it was a cat. It looked at me and hissed before standing and striding away to my desk. On the desk chair was another cat. That's when I noticed something strange about them. Both of them had a number tagged to them. Two and nine. I look around the room and see another three cats curled up in the corner- next to my door, on a pile of dirty socks. Numbers one, four and ten.
I stand up and go to my closet. There I find a large box- I can't remember what it was for anymore, but whatever it was was BIG. The walls of the box were about five feet high. It was a perfect place to put the cats. I grab numbers Two and nine from my desk and put them in. They were soon followed by ten four and one. I start exploring the little nooks and crannies of the room for more cats. I find number six under my bed. Only four more to go.
P.O.V. Iggy
Fang is shouting things that are too disturbing for me to repeat. I sigh, refusing to let myself wake up fully. I wanted to sleeping, and so help me Fang will not wake me up... and neither will that bump that just came from Nudges room. I roll over and slam my face into my pillow. I. Will. Go. Back. To. Sleep.
Then the beeping starts.
"DAMN IT, CAN NO ONE BE QUIET!" I shout angrily. I throw off my covers and stomp towards my door. I grab the doorknob, fling the wood open and... nun face first into something. I put my hands up to attempt to figure out what mystic force field could be blocking my path. It feels... like plastic... I push against it, but it refuses to give out. I scowl and push harder. Still nothing. Then I start pushing and shoving with all my might. Whatever it is finally gives out and I fall to the hallway floor. I sigh and stand up. That's when I notice how sticky the thing blocking my door is- I can't get it to come off! I try to rip it off of one hand only to have it stick to the other. Then I figure out what it is.
Duct tape. So much for being mans true best friend.
P.O.V. Max
I grin as I watch the chaos unfold on my screens. After I set up my beautiful plans/projects I set up a tiny camera in each persons bedroom. And one in fangs bathroom. Not because I'm a pervert, or anything like that, but because I wanted to see the look on his face when he found that his ENTIRE bathroom was gift wrapped. In pink birthday wrapping paper. I wrapped it all- his toilet, soap, mirror, razors, every last individual towel and wash cloth.
I burst into laughter when I see Iggy trying to remove the duct tape from himself. He keeps moving it from one hand to the other- but never quite manages to get it off. Whenever a piece finally does come off, he has plenty of other pieces to start the process over again with.
Then I look at the other screens. Nudge has just about made it out of her new cozy little spiderweb and to the door. Angel is going insane looking for all the watches that I hid. I don't think she realized that one of them is on her wrist yet. Fang has finished shoving all the aluminum cans out the door and is now starting to unwrap his "Gifts." Iggy has discovered that duct tape is very difficult to remove. But my favorite one by far is definitely Gazzy dashing around his room, shouting "Where's number seven! Where's number seven?" as he digs through his hamper of dirty laundry. I didn't even know that he put his dirty clothes into the hamper, he has so many articles of it just thrown all over the floor. I giggle to myself. When will he realize that there's only nine cats? Oh, well, I think I might tell him eventually.
I sigh with contentment as I close out of the camera feed and start throwing the video clips together. When I'm done I put it on a disc and stow it in it's case. We're going to have a movie night tonight.
*1: To all readers who read my TF story- little note that I found funny: As I was writing Max's response, I put down "How the frag would you know that you little Glitch!" Then I remembered that she was talking to a small child, and that any Maximum Ride fans reading this wouldn't have a clue as to what max just said... XD I think I've been writing for you all too much... Same thing happened later with fang and the cans- he was going to be saying "The slag?" originally.
Anyways, thanks for reading! Heheh... Max puts the Lamborghini Twins to shame...
