The watch really was the last straw.
Tonks has never been good at waiting: she can be stubborn when she has something to fight, but there's currently a distinct lack of Death Eaters in her mother's living room. Which is a good thing. Definitely a good thing.
"More tea?"
She really doesn't think she can drink another cup of tea without screaming.
"No thanks mum."
Tonks shifts Teddy slightly in her arms and wishes she could go to sleep so easily. How long has it been? Her eyes flick to the clock although the ticking has been battering her skull since Remus left. Of course when the idea had been suggested it had made sense: Teddy should be allowed a future that guaranteed at least one of his parents. With hindsight it had felt a little bit like she had been set up, but the shock of Remus and Andromeda actually agreeing had taken her rather by surprise. In addition any argument she had wanted to form had soon been beaten away by her mother's worried face and Remus and his irritating reasonability. Not to mention the fact she was holding her son at the time and his gurgling smile seemed to cloud the fact that her husband was no doubt planning another self-sacrificing stunt.
"I might go to bed."
Anything to get away from the bloody clock because now she has the time she is beginning to see things a bit clearer, or at least from a different perspective. Which is worrying because normally she just doesn't think about things this much. She trusts her instincts, goes with her gut reactions and despite the comforting weight of Teddy in her arms and the aches of her post natal body everything seems to be screaming at her to go and fight the bad guys.
Which is ridiculous because they had agreed this would be best for Teddy.
That she was in no condition to fight.
That she had to stay safe.
And since when has she ever agreed with Remus about that?
It's just after she settles Teddy in his crib that she looks up and sees the watch, and it really is the very last straw. It lies on the table, innocently catching the light from the lamp. She knows every inch of the familiar shape because Remus has let her hold it a thousand times. It had belonged to his father and had then been given to him when he was seventeen and this is the first time she has known him to be without it. Tonks puts out a thumb to scuff the surface leaving a fingerprint shaped smear. It's very real, and defiantly his, right down to the worn clasp and the dent in the back. She carefully picks it up, listening to the unassuming tick that's a mirror of the clock downstairs. Remus has wound it before he left, of course he bloody has, probably before he'd put it on top of the table and tucked the slip of parchment underneath. Still holding the watch she picks the parchment up and when she feels brave enough opens it. Three words.
Just in case.
Nothing else because really nothing else is needed and Remus is used to being economical with words, and money, and emotions. He knows she'll be able to fill in the rest if she has to.
Bastard.
Bloody, noble, bastard.
Tonks resists the urge to kick something because despite his assurances that everything is going to be all right it's really not. Her friends are fighting, and most of them are children. Just what is she going to say to her son when he asks about the war and she has to explain that people died while she'd been here with him not doing what she had been trained for. She slips her free hand through the bars of the crib so she can touch the downy blue hair on her son's head. If she goes through with this she wants to be absolutely sure she knows what she has the potential to loose.
Although the way things currently stand she has quite a lot to loose anyway.
"You stay here," Tonks whispers, "and look after your Gran for me, ok? I'm going to make sure daddy gets his watch back."
Still holding the offending item she leaves the room.
Five minutes later she's back with her mother's shouts about her being ridiculous echoing up the stairs behind her. She puts the watch and the parchment carefully back on the table and adds a piece of her hair, charmed to stay pink, wrapping it around the watch chain so it wont blow away.
Tonks takes a deep breath.
Just in case.